Reporting sexual harassment to primary school

[weeonion18]

I recently reported 2 incidents of sexual harassment against my dd to her primary school. One happened at the end of last term and more recent one happened last week.
My dd hadnt felt able to talk about previous incident at the time - too embarassed but when the same child did it again to her, she told me about it.

She is in p7.

The school were quite blase about it and said it was typical boy behaviour in that class and that the girls were too senstive. I was annoyed at that and insisted that it be recorded as sexuual harassmen not "boyish high jinks" (their words)

I have now found out that another mother reported a similar incident by the same child the week before.

The school have said that they will speak to the boy but really it was my dauhters word against his so nothing they could do. There were witnesses to both of my daughters incidents, as well as witnesses to the other child who reported but the school dont plan on speaking to those cchildren
They suggested that they would get my dd and this boy together to see how they could improve their relationship. I said no to that.

The boy has been moved so he is no longer sitting beside my dd but is now beside a girl who has been crying. Today, she told the teacher in front of the class that she feels too uncomfortable by what he is doing to her. This girl was told that she had to stay there as the teacher was running out of places to put him as the girls were all too thin-skinned.

I am shocked at the teacher / schools response. I have asked for an update as to what the school has done so far / next stages but was told no meetings were available for up to 2 weeks.

The school's response is faulty here and you/the parents of the other girls have routes available to you to act for the safety of your own children and to improve how the school handle this type of report in future.

I confess I'm also concerned about the perpetrator. Repeated offences despite simple interventions (moving him around in class) suggest to me that it is a compulsion at least as much as a conscious choice, and is this him acting out behaviour he's experienced elsewhere?

The whole thing sounds awful for all concerned and may well get worse as the layers are peeled back. But the school cannot ignore it. Best of luck, OP.

We don't actually need to know, Racecardriver. OP says it's sexual harrassment, OP is clearly an intelligent, articulate woman who would not use this phrase lightly.

It is shockingly prevalent - this is a recent government report (May of this year):
www.gov.uk/government/publications/sexual-violence-and-sexual-harassment-between-children-in-schools-and-colleges

(FWIW, if you want an example of the sort of thing that can go on in primary schools, it might be something like the incident from my school days where a couple of boys tried to pull my trousers and knickers down. I fought them off - but that was not merely sexual harrassment, that was attempted sexual assault. These things do happen in primary schools and it is naive to think they don't.)

'The girls are too thin-skinned'

That's just appalling!!

Is it just the one boy or a group of them?

I’d be calling the police and social services. You need to protect your child and by doing so this will protect others.
It is also a red flag for the child in question. This child may be the victim of sexual abuse. Who is to know?
The school have failed their safeguarding duty. I would consider contacting Ofsted. After. Your first priority is your child.

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this x

Call the Police, show the girls this is going to be taken seriously, the school is failing to care for them.

Stuff bothering further wit the school. Go to police and Ofsted and social services.

Onus should not be on your dd to grow a thicker skin

Sorry for what's happening

If the OP is in Scotland, ofsted aren’t relevant.

OP ask to speak to the schools child protection coordinator, who is usually someone in the management team. Also make a referral to the local social work child protection team. Ask the school for a record of the concerns you’ve raised and their formal response, and complain to the local authority - there may be a Quality Improvement Officer role in your local authority which is a senior role that sits independently of individual schools and who can and should address child protection concerns. You can also complain to the Care Commission and the Care Inspectorate who hold responsiblity for inspecting local authorities in respect of child protection.

You can also make a referral to the Scottish Children’s Reporters Administration who have a duty to gather information from relevant agencies and assess whether statutory intervention is needed. You can also report the incidents with your daughter to the police who would also involve social work from a child protection point of view.

I think we do need to know what is happening because the teacher - who I assume is also fairly intelligent and articulate doesn’t think it’s sexual harassment. Either the op is unreasonable to describe it that way or the school is unreasonable for not taking it seriously. Without knowing what has actually happened suggesting Governors, Ofsted, Social Services and the Police is ridiculous!

Suggesting Ofsted when she’s in Scotland is ridiculous anyway, we don’t have it!

Yes and that 😂 Is P7 the equivalent of Year 6?

I don’t know is the answer . It’s 11/12 year olds in their last year of primary before 6 years of secondary if that helps?

I had to ask what KS1/2/3 were when I was talking to my English friends

If you have a Child Protection Officer go through them.

If they don't go through the head teacher (although this may be what you mean by school) if no joy governors and the LEA.

I would also give social services a call if only to get advice and put it on the radar.

Last year of primary here is year 6 but they’re in secondary by age 12

PorkFlute aye ours would usually start at 12 although DS1 was 11 as he’s a January birthday, so started school at 4. How many years of secondary do yours do?

To be fair, the OP doesn’t say she’s in Scotland. I know she said P7 but tbh by the time I got to the end of her post I was so cross I forgot that point.

If girls are being assaulted by this boy, and neither the teacher or headteacher are doing anything about it, I would go straight to the Police, bet that would make them sit up. This would not be tolerated outside school, and should not be tolerated in school.

RiverTam it’s been mentioned a few times down the thread too.

Can I ask what this boy has done op? I’m genuinely genuinely shocked. I would go to the police of my dc was sexually harassed. The school is disgusting.

Hi folks.
Cant give full response as in work but didnt want people to think i have scarpered.

For those asking what he did - i dont want to give specifics but he is asking girls to perform sexual acts on him. Highly explicit language and terms.

Will update later and respond to questions.

Oh and P7 is last year of primary. Kids all 10 and 11 years old.

Well assuming it’s not something relatively tame like telling them to ‘kiss his ass’ or something then it’s obvious sexual harassment and I’m surprised the teacher is playing it down. For the sake of the girls and the boy (who may well be being abused if he knows things he shouldn’t) the school need to act.

I’m sadly not surprised. I think you need to take it higher than the school OP.

The school’s response is fucking disgusting.
This is why girls turn into women who don’t report, who think it’s expected and acceptable.
I would not be sending my girls back if the school cannot keep them safe. The school are minimising and teaching the girls a dangerous lesson.

What ? Sexual acts ? this is a police matter. I would go and report it so it’s on record. Bloody hell im in total and utter shock.

2 weeks is an unacceptable length of time to wait for a meeting imo. It’s not clear how far through the complaints procedure you are. Have you just spoken to the class teacher or the year head/ht as well? I would definitely be escalating things. I would also be concerned about the teachers revelation that it is typical behaviour of the boys in that class!