crazy neighbour

[6demandingchildren]

I am to scared to post in AIBU, but this morning I got a note through the door from my neighbour it was addressed to my house number and it says that my cat (WITH THE RED COLLAR) has been in her garden and it has given her dogs fleas, she is wanting the cost of the flea treatment £92 for shampoo, tablets, spot on and vets consultaion and the injection.
would it be rude to post a note back saying its like eating a tin of beans and knowing what bean made you fart? (lighthearted)
her house is one of 4 that are at the side of my house.

Everytime I have said hello to her when she has been in her garden she ignores me and scuttles back into her house.
i like the idea of letters going back and forth as i do get quite bored at times lol

Tell her that they're part of your flying circus act

Ridiculous woman. Animals pick up fleas from all sorts in the garden.
Anyway she should use flea prevention on her dog, once a month, such as Frontline spot on - or a cheaper option. I do that with my cats and they never have fleas.

Does your cat with the red collar have fleas?

No percy is flea free as he is on a monthly flea detox program, he does have anger issues though.

Why is the dog having spot on, tablets, shampoo and injection? That seems a bit over the top
Our cat only goes in our garden because she is too old to get out and she picks up fleas and ticks.
Easily treated with advantage once a month

Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't dog and cat fleas different?

How about writing back that the fleas on your cat can be identified by their red collars?
Is she sure they are yours?

Please send a letter back, I have genuinely laughed at some of the suggestions. Especially asking for the fleas back!

A flea egg can survive for 3 years on a concrete floor then spring to life when an animal gets close.

Say the bean thing :)

Ignore me, just googled, I'm wrong

The cat has anger issues!! ....it gets better!! hahahaa!

"Anger issues"!

Does she have any trees that drop leaves in your garden? Does her garden ever have dandelions that have infested your garden with their evil seed? If so, tell her you'll offset your gardening costs against the costs of the flea treatment.

Nothing to add, but I've been house bound for days with 2 sick children (one with chicken pox!) and this thread has made my day! Thank you . The suggested replies are priceless.

ok letter drafted
Dear neighbour at number #
Thank you for highlighting the flea issue, Percy (cat with red collar) was taking the fleas that he has been training for many months out on a day trip, unfortunatly 2 of the fleas failed to return with him, now as you can imagine these are highly trained fleas and we need them to complete the circus acts as the high trapeze act needs them as the are the ones catching the lighter fleas mid air, can you please send them back unharmed.
your sincerly number #

Just waiting for one of my kids to post it.

I cannot help but read her letter with Joe Lycetts voice in my head when he's responding to a letter about a missing cat 😂

Can you respond saying that you are trying to encourage red collared cat to promote his own independence, and so have forwarded him the letter for him to discuss with his solicitor!?

Your letter is brilliant!!

How did the fleas transfer from poor Percy to precious pooch, I hope you get them back soon. She sounds a bit bored or a bit tipsy.

Letter is sheer genius! Please update!

just bribing my 12 year old to go and post it, negotiations are are £2.25

waaaaaaaaaah that is hilarious!

That's still a saving of £87.75.

This is just the laugh I needed today!

Tell her it's a flea collar. Be careful though- unreasonable neighbours that think they have a legitimate grievance can make life a misery.