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Were you in the "popular group" at school, and how content are you now?

144 replies

TulipsInBloom1 · 22/09/2018 22:41

In my old secondary, there were four groups.

The Popular Group - usually (not always) sporty, a broad mix of academic ability. One of you was always head girl or boy alongside a Nerd. Slightly cheely chappie, usually lead the way in terms of bag choices/make up/music etc. Most vocal. Most known amongst the staff. Held the parties.

The Wider Circle - the peripheral group on the fringes of the Popular. Sometimes pulled into the fold if it became known your parents would allow booze at a house party, but in the main, left out of it. But always with an eye out incase an opening came up. Bought the bags and wore the makeup but just never quite got in there. Swung between caring about this and enjoying the reduced pressure.

The Invisibles - the ones who toed the line. Generally followed the rules. Never cared about being a Popular, but maybe a bit hmm about feeling like you didnt quite fit in. People dont remember you from school. Maybe you got left out of the yearbook list because you just got forgotten. Content with your friendship circle at school. Vague nerdyish tendencies which make you empathetic to the kid who got the piss ripped out of him for wearing his tie down past his crotch.

The Nerds - Back before Big Bang theory came along and made nerdism cool, when carrying a briefcase wasnt ironic, and you were singled out from playing war games and chess. Your parent was a school govenor, or worse, a teacher.

Which group did you fit into? Or were there more groups?

And how would you rate your life now?

I was an Invisible. I think I swung into Peripheral in y8 and y9, then back out again. It was too much.

My life now id say im a 9 out of 10. Happy. Content. I have what I wanted in terms of home and relationship. Id like to have used my further education more in work. I do sometimes wonder what people at school are up to (am in touch with 4, regularly, in my friendship circle, out of a yeargroup of around 200).

So Invisible. 9/10.

OP posts:
NeverTwerkNaked · 23/09/2018 13:23

I was in the “wider circle” but found them vacuous and bitchy (as a collective, individually I liked a lot of them) so moved my friendship towards “invisible” I guess but had fab teenage years generally. Good, genuine friends and plenty of parties and hovering near the top of the class in every subject

DP was undoubtedly a “nerd before they were cool”. But he again had a good circle of friends and no aspiration to be a popular,

I reckon we’d put our lives at 9/10... decent well paid jobs that we find v interesting, 4 awesome children, lovely 5 bed house in a “naice” area and friends and family we like. I’ve only knocked 1 off for general “state of the world” stuff (brexit mainly, and trump etc)

Openup41 · 23/09/2018 18:41

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at poster's request.

ProfYaffle · 23/09/2018 18:50

I was invisible/nerd. Found that, by the time we got to 6th form, a lot of people like me morphed into indie kids/rockers with interesting hair and too much eye liner. Once I found my people I was much happier.

Now 10/10 happy. Dh similar to me at school though he managed to be a nerd/wider circle.

Interestingly, dds are similar to us but having a much easier time at school. Seems to be easier to be cooler at a younger age and the kids are generally more accepting of weirdos.

Dowser · 23/09/2018 19:45

Yes I was and yes I’m content now

Andro · 23/09/2018 20:24

3 groups; leaders, followers and really not suited to boarding school.

I was a leader and worked hard to ensure the ones who weren't suited (ones who hated it but were there because their parents thought it best for them) were not bullied and got proper support.

9/10

madeyemoodysmum · 23/09/2018 20:35

I wasn't any as I'm not in a high school movie.

BonnieF · 23/09/2018 20:52

100% Nerd. I was the saddo reading New Scientist while the cool kids were reading Smash Hits (yes, I’m that ancient...)

I didn’t care. I knew that education was the only way out of the shithole council estate on which I grew up, and I had no interest in what some numpty who would end up working at the Co-op thought of me.

8/10, because although my life is good and I have everything I need, but I live in a middle-class world into which I will never completely fit because of my background.

Prometheus · 23/09/2018 21:04

DS (aged 8) has recently started getting upset as he isn't part of the popular crowd (eg. he isn't obsessed with football, isn't the school superstar player, doesn't have an Xbox & isn't allowed to play Fortnite). So this has been a topic of conversation in our house recently.

DH and I were both popular in school but not part of the most popular gang. However through the marvels of Facebook we've been able to reassure DS that all the super popular kids at our schools are now the ones who basically peaked too early & have had a rubbish life since school. It's the nerds who have gone on to do well at university, establish successful businesses, have a long lasting relationship (rather than two divorces).

Obviously all of the above is not the 100% rule but both DH and I have been surprised that it's the nerds who have triumphed in life and the super popular boys and girls who now have the crappy, downtroddden lives.

TheFluffyHippo · 24/09/2018 14:50

My school was exactly the same! I was Wider Circle for most of it (I was allowed to sit with the popular kids at lunch, but I wasn’t allowed to sit at the table- I had to pull a chair up slightly set back to allow the more popular ones room at the table Hmm) but in my last year I got a bit fed up with that and forged my own little friendship group, which pushed me down to Invisible- and I was much happier for it!

I’d say my life is a 9/10. Very happy with my partner, my lifestyle and my own sense of self. I’d be happier if I won the lottery Grin

Overthinkings · 24/09/2018 14:56

This thread has made me remember an acquaintance at school (who was in the popular group) saying "Overthinkings you're a cool person but you hang around with the wrong people"

mintich · 24/09/2018 14:58

Wider circle up until year 10 then popular (when I discovered contact lenses and make up)
9.5/10

Strokethefurrywall · 24/09/2018 15:03

I was a "wider-circler" back in high school with a side order of goth loner thrown in, so desperate I was to be Rayanne in My So Called Life.

I was overweight with bad afro hair and braces, but I don't think I really gave that much of a shit because I had good friends outside of school and I had a lot of charm.

I was in the "Popular Group" at music college for the first year, dropped down to "unpopular" in the second year because performing art schools are cutthroat Smile but I don't think I cared either way.

My life now? 10/10 every damn day. I stay in touch with a few people via facebook but I now live 4000 miles away and they weren't my friends when we left school.

That being said, when my younger brother died a few years back, I was beyond touched by the amount of high school friends who got in touch with me when they heard he'd passed away, to send their condolences and share memories. And those people continued to check in to see how I was doing. I will always remember their kindness.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 24/09/2018 16:01

I was in the excluded, bullied group - I say group, but I was the only one in it. It made me the self-loathing, zero self esteem, anxious, depressed person I am today.

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints · 24/09/2018 16:08

Badass/rebel for y7 & 8. Then wider circle, occasionally popular because I could be counted on in rounders & was good at swimming & cross country.

sunshineNdaisies · 24/09/2018 16:20

I was an invisible. Life now is about 7/10. I always feel like I'm not good enough and I trace that back to my school days where I was terribly bullied. Most of those who were in the popular group, did not go to university or get great jobs. A few did (eg there's a doctor) but most did not. The ones who did were mainly the wider circle and a few of the invisibles. My DD is only 10 but I think she's the 'wider circle' group in her primary school. She's definitely more confident with a lot more friends than I had.

Lazypoolday · 24/09/2018 16:24

Invisible. Too shy to speak up in class most of the time. I had a couple of school friends but I guarantee most people wouldn't remember me. Happy with life now but still feel pretty invisible tbh, my closest friend and all my family (besides DH and DD) live thousands of miles away.

Chosenbyyou · 24/09/2018 16:30

I wasn’t bullied at school but I am so angry about bullying. I actually HATE bullying it makes me so mad. I had a small group of close friends at school and we did our own thing - still like that now really. Tend to be friends with anyone at all and mostly now just arms reach friendships. I HATE bullying it is probably the one thing (along with child abuse) that really makes me see red ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 24/09/2018 16:32

We had another group - the misfits. We weren't invisible, but weren't popular. We didn't try and fit in, so not quite on the periphery, and some of us were nerds but not weird enough to be ostracized for it. Most of us had friends in all of the other groups, who didn't feel like they had to pretend not to be friends with us. For example, I was friendly with the most popular boys, because of a shared interest in a football team, but also some of the really weird ones. I was never close friends with the popular girls, but they didn't ignore me or take the piss.

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 24/09/2018 16:33

I'm content with my life now and I would say that most of the people I am still in touch with are successful and appear outwardly happy, beyond the usual break up drama.

lubeybooby · 24/09/2018 23:22

I made my way from invisible to popular... gradually. I was a bit of a good girl gone bad. My life now is 10/10 but via a long route of meh and 2/10

Didsomeonesaybunny · 25/09/2018 00:04

I was a total nerd up until I reached 13. Dropped a tonne of weight, dyed my hair and hitched my skirt up and joined the ‘popular group’. I was the Captain of the netball and swim club and was the Head girl in sixth form. I lived for school. I’d say my life at the moment is a good 8/10.

Secretmystery · 25/09/2018 10:15

Have only read the op. Why do you care about such silly things when you are an adult. They were silly and trivial matters when you were at school and they are irrelevant now.

serbska · 25/09/2018 10:17

No I wasn’t popular at school. My interests and personality didn’t really fit in.

Adult life turned out amazingly well. Fabulous ‘best friend’ and a lovely group of amazing ladies around me. Never would have thought I’d be in this position. We’ve all found each other and are so lucky.

serbska · 25/09/2018 10:19

I am not in touch really with anyone from school. All my friends were met at uni or afterwards.

Miladymilord · 25/09/2018 10:19

popular 9/10