How do you cope with the fact that housework is an incessant cycle that stops only when you die?

[RelentlessSylvia]

I wash clothes, I dry clothes, I sort clothes, I fold clothes, (I don't iron clothes - don't judge me), I put clothes away then I wash clothes, I dry clothes, I sort clothes...

Same with dishes. Same with vacuuming, sweeping, mopping, cleaning bathrooms, scrubbing toilets, cleaning the kitchen, wiping surfaces, tidying, buying groceries.

Most of the time I just get on with it cheerfully but sometimes I get struck by an overwhelming sense of futility. It's a Sysephian (I can't spell that) task. I can't afford a cleaner. How do you cope with the numbing sense that housework is a huge waste of life??

Create a routine that (eventually) takes up no brain space.

Put a 30 minute load of washing on during the school run or a long one
while you’re out. You won’t even notice it. Fitted sheet, pillowcase and duvet cover are enough on the bed. Poly-cotton isn’t great but it dries quickly. 10 pairs of the same cheap socks so they all pair up.

Run the dishwasher to finish before a meal so some of the plates go straight back on the table. Use one glass/mug each during the day and rinse between uses.
Tip all dry clothes onto your bed and get the whole family to pick out and fold their own. Fold sheets etc. with a volunteer. A 5 minute job that everybody does.
Also insist (within reason if your DC are disabled obviously) that everybody helps with rubbish, recycling, laying and clearing, making food and putting shopping away. Most kids can be responsible from age 5 (not OP?) for tidying their own room and keeping family rooms clear of junk. Adults share jobs according to their strengths and time restrictions.

Spray and leave product to work for most cleaning in the bathroom and kitchen. One or two products max. I use a vinegar based surface product and citric acid powder for degreasing. Rim block in the toilet.

I don’t give headspace to the weekly shop. Aldi for most things, stock up on offers and go to the fancy supermarket once a week.

I DO give headspace to fresh, seasonal fruit and veg. I order online and pick that up from the local growers. But that’s my choice. I could get good enough from Aldi.

What I’m trying to say is I do all ^^ that on autopilot and save myself a lot of mental interference from housework. Which, let’s face it, is a complete PITA.

I do proper housework like cleaning on a Tuesaday and Friday only and washing once a week.
Obviously cooking daily etc but having a routine means I dont feel like Im constantly doing it.

I enjoy it but its a relatively new feeling. I always wanted a clean tidy organised home. Two small dcs, ft shiftwork, and no storage meant I couldnt acheive it.

I now work 9-5, kids are a bit older, and i chucked out 50% of all our stuff.

Now I enjoy it because its easier. I find my head is clearer when my house is clearer.

I work full time and am too tired to do anything of any note after work during the week. I spend 3hrs cleaning the whole house on a Saturday morning and live guilt free the rest of the week. I only do a bit of laundry and washing up on other days.

Audiobooks, the Organised Mum and getting rid of any thing that’s not totally necessary. Less stuff = less tidying/cleaning.

Cleaning team on Fridays for 3 hours dust, beds, floors
Womans hour on iplayer while I do laundry
Cooking to radio 4
I can do a weeks Lidl in 45 minutes
I am the fastest cook I know
Host students so cooking for 7 most nights and work so no faffing time

Do half of everything and wait twice as long before doing it.
Have absolute minimum of all things that require housework eg cutlery, crockery, clothes, bedding, towels, everything, just operate on absolute bare minimum of all possessions. Reducing the amount of the things in the system makes it all go round and round quicker with less intervention.
Nothing in the house that does not make life easier. Anything that takes time or headspace and is not essential put in the bin.

Same basics shopping list every week.
Of course feel free to alter if you feel like doing something special but its the same old basics everyweek. Let things run out before getting new things.

I like Sgt's suggestion of reducing cleaning products to the minimum types. Less of everything stops the system clogging up.

I 💕 @fatted dad

focus on the shovel, not the massive pile of shit

I am okay at tidying but dislike actual cleaning. I want to get it done and DH always tries to stop and cuddle me in the middle of my weekly mad hour and doesn’t understand why I don’t feel amorous whilst dusting

One day I’ll have staff

💐 my tips
Do less of it
Chill first, chores later
Stop imagining it as something to conquer/get to the end of
Make a routine - if you miss something or do it sketchily one day/one week, don’t worry, you can do it properly next time

I super hate laundry though, so no tips for that.

Headphones with an audiobook & rubber gloves. I am on complete auto pilot. A really good book and I'm happy to plug away.

Everything is repetitious. That's how I deal with it. Accepting reality!

A little bit every day on a "need to do" basis. Upstairs bathroom or downstairs bathroom? Hoover or dust? A bit of shopping every day (if I do a week's shop all on one day, I don't fancy the food that I bought by the time comes to eat it). Washing up goes in the dishwasher, the window cleaner does the windows and DH cleans the kitchen (he thinks it's therapeutic)

I leave it as long as possible. Sometimes DP can’t stand the mess any more and he does it. Also get as many gadgets as possible eg dishwasher.

I enjoy it. I love laundry. Making dirty things clean. The process. The cyclical nature. I find it satisfying. It's very safe and predictable.

Thats interesting single
The bittyness on a daily basis would drive me mad.
I like it done and dusted

It's like pushing an elephant up the stairs. I'm very much over housework right now

I hear you.

I do send my ironing out in bin bags though mainly because it's postponing the pain of putting it away.

I don't enjoy the endless grind but I can't just do little and often. I clean the house on a Monday and then do a little to upkeep all week. I enjoy the whole house looking shiny so couldn't do one room a day. I am also the only one in this house that doesn't like mess so I can't leave the mess until it annoys someone else. I hate sorting socks. Id I go to hell I am convinced it will just be an endless room of odd socks to sort

Train your family to be clean and tidy. Do not train them to think housework is a mother’s job. Remind everyone of the collective tasks that are often either invisible or undertaken out of eyesight that keep a home running smoothly.

It would destroy my soul to believe i had to make the house 'clean and shiny'. I also loathe routine. Bare minimum person here. 5 minute bursts when I think something is pretty bad.

Bluetooth headphones and dance music... house or techno. Doing the same tasks on particular days... ie I do most of it on Friday afternoons so it's nice for the weekend and then a medium sized clean of the whole flat on Wednesdays to keep it going. I get ds to do quite a lot, he is 12.

I know!!

I think standard slip, eye sight goes, don't Care about dust anymore...
I'm happy with that dust won't kill me.

It does feel like that to me a lot of the time OP so I feel your pain.

Totally agree with whoever said 'focus on the shovel rather than the pile of shit'. Here are the things that help me a little...

1. The promise of a rest/cuppa/fave tv programme when the current job/s are done.

2. Look on it as good exercise or workout, we all need it, you might as well get some whilst doing your chores, it's free (unlike a gym).

3 )Make it less boring with music, radio or an audiobook. Also you won't feel like you're wasting your time as much.

4. Work smarter not harder - as the saying goes. Ok sometimes you just can't avoid hard work but at least if you plan your house work and give it a bit of thought you might get away with doing less of it or at least finding it easier. Eg. are you doing some jobs too often, can you cut down. I'm certainly not judging you for not ironing, that's one crossed off the list - great!

for you

I know this might sound a bit Pollyanna but try to think about it in a more positive way overall. Its not an unending fruitless cycle of no value, you are actually doing something worthwhile by keeping your home nice. I'm not saying its super fun to do, but you are accomplishing something that makes your and your family's lives better and more enjoyable. Its an ongoing task yes, but one with ongoing benefits too.
On a more practical level I agree with what everyone says about listening to audiobooks and podcasts or the radio while you work.

We're in a similar boat, sylvia right down to kids with disabilities which mean the they still create asuch work for us at 12 and 24 as they did at 2 and 4, if not more because I can't fit as many of their clothes in the washer as I could, then.

The radio really does help.