How do you cope with the fact that housework is an incessant cycle that stops only when you die?

[RelentlessSylvia]

I wash clothes, I dry clothes, I sort clothes, I fold clothes, (I don't iron clothes - don't judge me), I put clothes away then I wash clothes, I dry clothes, I sort clothes...

Same with dishes. Same with vacuuming, sweeping, mopping, cleaning bathrooms, scrubbing toilets, cleaning the kitchen, wiping surfaces, tidying, buying groceries.

Most of the time I just get on with it cheerfully but sometimes I get struck by an overwhelming sense of futility. It's a Sysephian (I can't spell that) task. I can't afford a cleaner. How do you cope with the numbing sense that housework is a huge waste of life??

Yup agree, do as little as possible (hence why I’m on here ) but tbh isn’t life like this? Aren’t most peoples days/jobs/chores repetitive? Unless you’re like a spy or an actor it’s all pretty much the same shit or variations of the same shit day in day out. Yeah, sorry I was hoping to go for a positive spin on it but turned into a right Job’s Comforter 🤦‍♀️

OP you said your DH works long hours. I would hazard a guess that looking after your disabled DC is more than 'long hours' and nearer 24/7.

I listen to audiobooks. Keeps me going. Saying that, my house is a total shit tip. Today I am lying in bed cos I have the lurgee.

I hate cleaning and I hate mess.

This. I hate cleaning more though, so my house is horrendous. Until one day it makes me really cross and I have a tantrum then a cleaning spree. That, or we have people coming round - like today. Need to clean the bathrooms... Definitely putting it off! Who needs three toilets anyway

I can't wait to be able to afford a cleaner. Will be my first luxury when we're rich! Then a naice gym membership.

I just view it as part of life rather than a waste of life.

I feel very much the same. And although I enjoy cooking when I've a lot of time I hate it in the week.
To maintain any kind of standard in our house, and to make sure we are eating Mostly well I have to organise in advance and be very strict with myself about doing stuff in the time I've allotted for it. Otherwise it all goes to shit.
Trouble is the organisation itself gets me down sometimes!

I'm a dyed in the wool feminist, so back the truck up with your 1872 comment.

I asked only to establish whether it was reasonable that you did the lions share of the housework, given that you seem to be suggesting from the long hours comment that your OH does none of it.

Oh I completely agree. I anbsolurely hate it and the futility of it drives me mad but I find that I feel down in an untidy house and that it makes me lazier so I am trying to be more organised.
I have written a rota of jobs that should only take 10-15 minutes and dh and I know what needs to be done each evening. Then there’s only cooking and washing up on top.

Its only been a week but I feel so much better for it and don’t panic so much when someone pops by. (I have this)

Hate- not have.

Mostly I ignore it - if something looks really dirty I might be moved to do something about it.

I do lots of washing though as DH has a neurodegenerative illness that causes lots of washing - I get my dear GC to help me with it - they think it is a game!

I just think that on my death bed I am unlikely to feel sad over not having done enough cleaning! To hell with it say I!

Nothings permanent. I've just spent ages showering and doing my hair. Same again tomorrow. I'll spend ages trying to get to sleep only to have to do the same the next night. I try to eat healthily but it has to be for the rest of my life or put on weight. Life sucks.

It's so BORING. And it's Sisyphan. It just never bloody stops , so you never have the satisfaction of a job well done.

I get through it by doing tiny bits at a time - 5 mins polishing sink and taps, cleaning loo, a separate 5 mins cleaning bath and shower screen. Loud music for all cooking, emptying and reloading of the never empty dishwasher, loud music or podcasts for the sorting and folding of clean laundry.

I get DC to tidy their crap most of the time, strip their own beds and help with vacuuming as vacuuming makes me growl with anger. I quite like mopping, polishing and dusting though, and hanging laundry on the line.

I try to put on an episode of something on iPlayer when I'm doing the laundry. Just for the distraction factor.

I do just enough to keep the family's immune systems healthy. It is absolutely the relentless futility that I hate. An occasional job such as cleaning the windows is fine. The mountains of clothes, dishes, and the tide of Lego/ mechano/ marble run/ Geomags is never ending and holds no job satisfaction.

At least the lawn gives a couple of weeks grace between mowings and looks nice for a week or so before its gentle decline. A bare patch of carpet/ worktop on the other hand...

Like previous posters, I use podcasts, radio 4 and music to get me through. Also, getting a Roomba has been genuinely life changing, seriously my floors are a million times cleaner and the house actually smells fresher because it is so little effort.

My DM used to say whoever invented housework should have been made to stop and finish it.
Anyway there’s all tomorrow not started of so no need to panic.

I listen to podcasts and do it really fast. I sort of treat it like exercise. The way I do it, it is.

I get this. I try to 'control the housework rather than letting the household control me'. So I (try and) do a little bit everyday so nothing gets built up until I feel something is dirty and 'needs doing', or it all becomes a massive job. So bedding and towels washed on a Monday, clean the kitchen on a Tuesday, dusting/polishing on a Wednesday, scrub bathroom on a Thursday and day off Friday 😊 DH does the hoovering/floors at the weekend and takes the bins/sorts the recycling. When we stick to this regime everything feels calmer. I too listen to podcasts or audiobooks whilst cleaning.

If you stop doing it, it doesn't get any worse after the first five years.

I employ someone to deal with it. She has just gone home after doing my floors, bathrooms and ironing Dh's shirts for work. I bloody love Friday - my house is clean and tidy for about a couple of hours at least.

By discovering TOMM! The Organised Mum Method on Instagram, Facebook and her blog website is the only way I've ever found to enjoy and be enthusiastic about housework.

Check it out and see if it's your thing: the idea is that you only do 30 minutes a day but if you do it regularly nothing ever needs too much cleaning because you're on top of it all the time.

It takes a bit of work to get started but gradually everything comes more and more under control and she's really nice and normal.

Living in a messy shithole is more depressing than having to do housework imo, so I just get on with it. But then it's just me an my one child so it's not too much I guess.

Check out the Organised Mum on Facebook/Insta, changed my life!!!