My husband is making ‘cold’ noises and it is making me crazy

[Harryrotter]

My husband has a cold. This is obviously worse than the cold that my children have had this week because he is a man and he is therefore very very ill with it, this means he is making these noises:

Very loud honking nose blowing
Louder than normal sneezes
Sniffing
A sort of weird throat noise/ clicking/ sigh type noise

I don’t like listening to him eat generally as loud eating noises make me cross but the eating noises and breathing and sighing whilst eating are making me crazy

Please tell me I am not the only one?

(He has taken my moaning in good spirits despite how very ill he is, he said at least he has not put his tracksuit bottoms which would mean he is very very ill 🤧 )

Wrap him up in a thick blanket.
Right over his head to muffle the noise.

Wear headphones. Ask him to wave energetically if he needs more chicken soup.

Sounds like a dose of manflu to me. It is the scourge of all men and far, far worse than any cold, flu or other virus you will ever get

The worst part is the "eurrrghhh" groan that is made every time they move

My DH shivers loudly when he has the slightest cold. If I killed him, no court in the land would convict me!

Yes there is a lot of groaning. I am now upstairs and can still hear him honking. He sneezed before and the poor cat jumped a mile in the air

Have you had the whimpering and clinging on to the wall for support yet?

No wall clinging and there really better not be, my tolerance level for his illness is low

Mine has an extra loud cold as well.

So I've given him night nurse and he's took his racket to bed, coz night nurse is the dogs bollocks

You must move to another room, forthwith.

Forget moving to another room, book in to a hotel.

My DH told me this evening that he is so unlucky to always get the extreme versions of the family illnesses 😂😂🙄 I made a non committal noise and carried on..

My DH told me this evening that he is so unlucky to always get the extreme versions of the family illnesses

They're properly mint aren't they?

DH is just like this. It drives me mad and I'm even more cross that he won't do anything to help himself.

DH: sniff, sniff, snort, sneeze, sniff, clears phlegm in throat, sniff, sneeze. (Pile of tissues building up on the side)

Me (trying to be reasonably sympathetic): You don't sound good. What have you taken?

DH: 'Oh nothing. I'll be fine. Don't really like taking anything. sniff, snort, sneeze, whoosh

Me: looks for weapon

Oh bless him: maybe it's because I've got a horrible cold at the moment but I actually feel sorry for him!

There's a really dreadful cold going around here and I've been in bed all day shivering while dh has had to be me for the day. Everything hurts and I'm sleeping downstairs on the sofa tonight so I don't disturb everyone else with my coughing and trying to get comfy.

Just on the off chance that he has the same thing as me, and in case you're next, be a bit kind... You never know when you'll need him to do the same!

Come on jingles. Pull yourself together. Get a grip! Women don't get ill!

Haha that's usually true! This one in particular has made me feel like I've been hit by a truck. Maybe it's manflu that has jumped the species barrier

Actually I think it's more to do with exhaustion - 7 month old ds2 woke 8 times last night and wouldn't settle until I breastfed him back to sleep. I may have actually cried...

Sniff cough shudder groan