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Original poster

What stage swimming is ok to stop at?

59 replies

ANiceLentilHotpot · 16/09/2018 16:31

DD (9) has been having swimming lessons for a year. She'd had lessons at another pool when she was younger and hated it and it put her off swimming. When she started these new lessons she wouldn't put her face in the water and refused to get in. The teacher was brilliant and after half an hour she was in the water and had put her face under. The teacher makes the lessons fun and DD started to love swimming and said she wanted to do all the stages and get really good.

She's now at stage 4, but this means a change of teacher (same pool but her other teacher only teaches up to stage 3). The new teacher is very different, very strict, and DD is scared of her. The first lesson she wouldn't get in and got really upset. I eventually managed to get her to sit in the side and the teacher said 'right stop being so silly about nothing, get in the water now'. DD did, and did what she was told for the rest of the lesson but was really upset afterwards. This week she got in the water (although said she didn't want to) but got really upset after the lesson again and said she's not going back.

I can see why she's nervous of the teacher, she shouts instructions and DD says she sometimes doesn't understand them, but if the children get things wrong the teacher shouts at them to do it again because its wrong. DD is very shy and worries about getting things wrong and having everyone looking at her.

I said we should give it a few more weeks to see if she gets used to the teacher, but I know she'll be really upset again next week. Or I suggested trying to find a different pool with a different teacher but DD said she doesn't want to do that either because it'll be unfamiliar and she won't know any of the children.

Should I keep dragging her there even though she no longer enjoys it or is stage 4 enough to keep safe in the water and I take her swimming to keep her enjoying it?

OP posts:

frenchfancy · 16/09/2018 16:34

I'm not sure what stage 4 is but I wouldn't carry on in those circumstances. Can she swim a length?

Original poster

ANiceLentilHotpot · 16/09/2018 16:36

She can just about swim a length front crawl and back stroke, but not breast stroke.

OP posts:

BingerGeer · 16/09/2018 16:41

I have said to both kids that I’m happy for them to stop once they’ve completed the first green hat stage - which I think is 6. That’s the point where it seems more about stamina and technique than about actually being able to swim a few lengths.

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BikeRunSki · 16/09/2018 16:41

Age 9, she must be very old in Y4 or in Y5, will she not be having school lessons?

Our pool teaches up to Stage 8, but most children stop before then and join the local swimming club, which is considerably cheaper and takes you from Stage 5. . DS stopped at Stage 7, but overlapped lessons and club for a year or so - also school lessons!

Spacezombies · 16/09/2018 16:41

Why wouldn't she get in the water? A year is lessons and into stage 4, and she wouldn't get in the water? I'd have told her to stop being so silly as well.

She's old enough to start learning that in life, you have to work with and for people you don't like. But that is no reason to not learn a new school or do a new activity, or improve on one. She needs to get used to having teacher she doesn't like. We all had them during school and you can't just run away.

Really though, refusing to get in the water simply because she had decided she didn't like the woman before even having a lesson with her? She can't judge someone before even trying, and if she's already decided not to like her then it wouldn't matter what the teacher did.

I'm a tough love kind if person in these situation and my kid would be going every week.

Spacezombies · 16/09/2018 16:42

*learn a new skill

Pommes · 16/09/2018 16:54

How often will she go swimming outside of lessons? If she can continue to strengthen her stroke and distance outside of classes, I would think she would be fine, but if swimming is less frequent (i.e. only during summer months) then I'd carry on.

Bunnybigears · 16/09/2018 16:58

It depends why you want her to learn to swim. So she can have fun in the pool on holidays then just about a length is probably good enough. If its so she is safe around water then just about a length in a swimming pool whilst wearing a swimming costume and possibly goggles is not going to be of any use.

AamdC · 16/09/2018 17:07

Will she not have more lessons in year 6? My son did last yr he got up to stage four in swimming lesdons , but in year six did life saving etc.

BlueJava · 16/09/2018 17:10

Why are you worried about the stage she's at then some woman (masquerading as a teacher) seems to be bullying her and upsetting her? The woman sounds on a power trip and I'd tell her to feck off and keep her lessons, you'll go elsewhere or find someone else.

Hermagsjesty · 16/09/2018 17:12

My daughter isn’t a naturally swimmer either and also hates having her head under the water. She’s 6 now and in Stage 2 and is getting there. My goal is to get her to complete Stage 3 so she can manage a length and then I plan on just going frequently as a family for fun. Personally, I think if the reason you want them to swim is fun and exercise Stage 3 is enough.

BikeRunSki · 16/09/2018 17:26

I agree with BingerGeer. In our pool it’s yellow hats, but yes, beyond Stage 6 it’s largely more of the same, just more lengths.

oooerrmissus · 16/09/2018 17:57

I asked a while ago at my Doc's swim school about this. They class stage 7 as being able to swim. This seems to mean confidently and can do all the strokes.

It doesn't sound to me like your DD is confident enough around water yet so personally I would continue the lessons as I think swimming is a very important life skill.

Spanglyprincess1 · 16/09/2018 18:01

At point can swim two lengths strongly and knows basic water saftey .

hmmwhatatodo · 16/09/2018 18:06

I think we got to stage 8 but I was so fed up with the whole repeating of stages and constant new teachers who would then not want to move them up or there being no spaces in further classes to move up that I got sick of paying out loads of money and my son became despondent at not moving that we gave up. It took forever to move be up from stage 6 to 8 if I recall. I had hoped he could go on and complete all levels to lifeguard but hey ho.

theclockticksslowly · 16/09/2018 18:07

As a PP has said, just about able to do a length in ideal swimming conditions - calm pool/costume/goggles etc probably isn’t good enough to be a safe swimmer in an emergency situation.

I’d give her two choices: either stay in the familiar pool with this instructor or go to a different pool and get use to that one.

Original poster

ANiceLentilHotpot · 16/09/2018 18:22

Thanks all, really helpful to read your advice, as I am torn between doing tough live and taking her every week but her not enjoying swimming any more, but at least she'll be a strong swimmer, or thinking that this teacher is just too much and just taking her swimming myself instead.

Other parents have said their children have been saying they don't want to go any more as well so I don't think it is just DD being anxious. Those who say to tell her she has to stop being silly and get in, how do you that? I can't physically put her in, and just telling her she must go in made her more and more upset, she was sitting in the corner sobbing.

She's done six lessons with the school in year 4 but that's all they do in their school.

I would love her to carry on, just because she was getting so much enjoyment from it and doing really well.

OP posts:

Bunnybigears · 16/09/2018 18:24

If she can swim 25m and jump into deep water how about trying Rookie Lifeguards. My kids both find it lots more fun than constantly swimming lengths.

Original poster

ANiceLentilHotpot · 16/09/2018 18:24

*tough love not live

OP posts:

DragonScales · 16/09/2018 18:27

Speak to the reception desk and explain that your daughter doesn't feel comfortable with the new teacher. Ask if the original teacher (or any other really kind one) is available for her as its ruining her confidence/enjoyment of swimming.

Usernom1234567890 · 16/09/2018 18:40

If she doesn't like the teacher, then you'll either have to move to another leisure centre , speak to the reception desk or, your daughter will have to get on with it.
Don't stop the lessons though, it doesn't sound as if she is safe around water yet.
My DS at about 6, was frightened of one his teachers, used to cry afterwards etc. We moved him to another pool. But at no point did he refuse to get in; I'd have been very firm with him if he'd done that. The broken record technique would have been used rather than negotiations.

PastaRedWine · 16/09/2018 18:51

I'd also tell her to stop being silly and get in the pool.

Personally I work with a factor of a hundred. If a child can swim 100 lengths in perfect calm controlled swimming pool conditions, they'd probably manage a length in truly vile scary weather driven conditions in an emergency situation.

Being able to just about swim a length or two does not count as a swimmer. Which is fine as long as they never want to do anything swimming or boarding or boating wise ever. But if they ever want to be around water in any way, they need to be a lot more confidence.

Delatron · 16/09/2018 18:57

Are there many children who can swim
100 lengths at 9? Seems an ambitious target!

Original poster

ANiceLentilHotpot · 16/09/2018 19:00

100 lengths?!

OP posts:

BikeRunSki · 16/09/2018 19:03

DS did his mile badge when he was 8 - 64 lengths.

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