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Original poster

Tips to lower my sex drive?

67 replies

PorridgeIsYummy · 11/09/2018 07:10

Hi,

I have a healthy sex drive but no real outlet for it. I manage well most days; however, it does go a little crazy when I'm mid cycle, which I know it's not unusual. It can get very distracting then and I would like to be able to focus on what's important, rather than fantasising about sex or feeling upset.

Does anything work? I want to emphasise my libido is perfectly normal and most definitely not a medical issue, so I'm not looking at medication. Just general tips. I've read sport can be good for this, but in my case it only makes me more aware of my body, which can have the opposite effect.

Thanks!

OP posts:
Gardeninginsummer1 · 11/09/2018 07:12

2 kids under 3. You're welcome.

heartyrebel · 11/09/2018 07:12

Hang out with my ex. That outta do it

Kewqueue · 11/09/2018 07:15

Meditate on the futility of life and the inevitable Armageddon that we are all hurtling towards?

Original poster
PorridgeIsYummy · 11/09/2018 07:29

Hey, I've got three kids and it hasn't worked!! That's why I need the mental space.

OP posts:
Leavesofautumn · 11/09/2018 08:00

Watch some videos of Jacob Rees Mogg.

marvellousnightforamooncup · 11/09/2018 08:07

The Boris Johnson thread.

mummmy2017 · 11/09/2018 08:09

Buy yourself a Rampant Rabbit...
And have fun the night before..

RunSweatLaughAndLatte · 11/09/2018 08:17

Find an outlet and enjoy it, I say. I have my special golden friend lol

Original poster
PorridgeIsYummy · 11/09/2018 08:41

I've got toys, but I feel nothing - nothing -replaces physical contact with someone who wants you. I'm married but sadly my husband's libido has gone the other way.

OP posts:
NewDirectionNeeded · 11/09/2018 08:45

Ah, well that does change things. Have you spoken to your dh about it?

Original poster
PorridgeIsYummy · 11/09/2018 08:47

But I don't want this to be one more thread about not having sex at home. What I want is to lower my sex drive, so I can focus on work properly when I'm mid ycle. I find myself too distracted at those times.

OP posts:
Original poster
PorridgeIsYummy · 11/09/2018 08:51

Yes, I've said. He knows how upsetting it is. But you can't make somebody want you.

Having said that, iI'd rather move away from discussing my husband to discussing coping mechanisms. Thanks.

OP posts:
AFistfulofDolores1 · 11/09/2018 08:55

Why do you feel that you need to change in order to fit in with a life that doesn't suit you, OP?

NewDirectionNeeded · 11/09/2018 09:00

If you don't feel it's like a sex addiction, so don't feel you need treatment, then I'm not sure what you can do really.

Sexual desire is incredibly powerful and unless you're worried about seeking an affair, I don't know what else anyone can suggest if you say you have a "normal" sex drive and don't want to discuss your husband.

Original poster
PorridgeIsYummy · 11/09/2018 09:02

Ah. Well, I've thought about it long and hard and I want to stay with my husband. Hence needing to find a way to lower my libido.

Has anybodyvtried meditation for this?

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 11/09/2018 09:06

Meditation or medication? Bromide? Grin

AFistfulofDolores1 · 11/09/2018 09:09

You can't lower it; it will come out elsewhere. It is a very creative energy, and, when denied, can be destructive too.

Therapy.

Original poster
PorridgeIsYummy · 11/09/2018 09:09

I have discussed it with my husband. I just don't believe you can make someone want you. He knows I'm a sexual person and I think if it was in his hands to solve the situation he would, but his interest in sex seems to have gone, over the years.

Many women here would be able to emphasise with a low drive situation, I'm sure. I won't put a gun to his head (figuratively) and demand sex. Who wants that kind of sex, anyway?

But please, what I need are strategies, not discussing my husband.

OP posts:
Original poster
PorridgeIsYummy · 11/09/2018 09:11

I'm not having therapy to lower my perfectly healthy libido. Thanks.

OP posts:
kaytee87 · 11/09/2018 09:16

I find the contraceptive pill lowers sex drive. Especially the mid cycle drive you're talking about as you no longer ovulate.

Littlechocola · 11/09/2018 09:19

Yes to the contraceptive pill! Mine died and I still don’t feel it’s back fully after 6 months.

bowtieandheels · 11/09/2018 09:19

I also have a very high sex drive, luckily I have an accommodating partner but I'm still not satisfied and also find myself very distracted and unable to focus on work etc, so I've started looking into Tantra courses....they claim to be able to help you harness your sexual energy and turn it into a creative and positive outlet. I haven't started mine yet so can't tell you if it works or not but I think this sounds better than trying to lower your sex drive...not sure that's possible even...! Good luck

Kittykat93 · 11/09/2018 09:21

Pretty sure there isn't a way to just switch off a sex drive. I know you don't like to hear it but you need to either find a way of expressing your sexuality in your relationship (by trying to improve things with your husband, or leaving him, or an open relationship situation) or you need to put up with the frustration. You have choices!

MistressDeeCee · 11/09/2018 09:23

This is the 2nd "I want to lower my sex drive" thread I've seen confused. If you aren't the same person OP there are already lots of tips on that thread which was put up only yesterday and is still ongoing.

I actually thought I was reading that thread asI looked at bottom of this page 1st

NewDirectionNeeded · 11/09/2018 09:29

I'm not having therapy to lower my perfectly healthy libido. Thanks.

OP, I'm sorry, but I'm not sure what you want us to suggest. You don't want medication, you don't want therapy and you don't want to discuss the mismatched sex drive with your husband.

I don't mean to come across as harsh, I'm just not sure what you're expecting to happen.

There aren't strategies to make you less sexual.