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Children’s books you don’t like?

274 replies

MagnaDoodle · 09/09/2018 19:36

Anyone got a book or two that makes them inwardly sigh and weep when DC asks for them?

I had to read my most disliked book today. Burglar Bill. Dirge.

OP posts:
MouseTheDog · 10/09/2018 19:11

@madeoficecream and another PP...I’m listening to my husband reading Mog and the baby to our DD right now 😂 he introduced it by saying “And this is an even sillier story” not sure what he’d read her before, probably another mog one 🤦‍♀️

elkiedee · 10/09/2018 20:18

Oh I love some of the books mentioned as hates here, though I do agree on some of the others. I don't really remember what I was read and enjoyed or how regularly I was read to as a small child, and sadly can't ask my mum now. Once I learned to read myself I don't think adults read to me very much. I remember a Brownie pack holiday when I was about 8, as were most of the other girls, and I was horrified because they read Mr Men stories to us as bedtime stories, and they seemed ridiculously babyish and dull.

I loved reading the kids Julia Donaldson and the Harry and the Dinosaurs stories. I also liked the Mog the Cat books and the Tiger Who came to Tea. We had to read DS2 The Very Hungry Caterpillar 100 times a day when he was small, and he destroyed several copies. At one point DS1, just 21 months older, could recite most of it by heart and I occasionally got him to do so to amuse DS2 during a 15 minute walk to the supermarket or home. I don't hate it and we have a couple of other books by Eric Carle that I think are lovely. I had a few shorter books that I would read if it was getting late, we needed something really snappy or I couldn't handle a long story - Whatever Next by Jill Murphy, Not Now Bernard, Dear Zoo, Handa's Surprise are all short and sweet.

I quite like Dr Seuss but I kept a box set downstairs for my dad, who lives near us and came to visit a couple of times a week, to read to and later with the boys. I hate Mr Men, have never read Little Miss books and was very glad that no one gave us any. I enjoyed reading Beatrice Potter to myself as a child and bought a beautiful box set, then discovered they are difficult to read aloud and quite long!

Then a lot of the books here mentioned here are ones the kids have read to themselves - David Walliams, Roald Dahl, Horrid Henry, Michael Morpurgo. Beast Quest, Horrible Histories. They are now 9 and 11 and bedtime stories fizzled out a couple of years ago. We did read part or all of a few chapter books aloud to them but I see nothing wrong with saying I'll read you X book if you like but you can read Y book yourself.

DS1 is an independent reader and will read for pleasure, DS2 enjoys reading when you can get him to pick a book up but won't put down a computer game in order to read. Last time I read to them at bedtime they chose a story from a David Walliams book - the horrible children one - and I agree, it was no fun to read aloud at all. My dad has been getting them his books secondhand. There was that horrible sexist private dinner for charity episode which made me think Ugh.

I have also read that the man behind Horrible Histories, Terry Deary, doesn't want kids to be able to borrow his books from libraries because he wants them to buy them new. Stupid man. Libraries buy books too. So.... nearly all their HH books have come from charity shops, and they can enjoy them without Deary getting a penny.

MarshaBradyo · 10/09/2018 20:22

I remember reading an awful book where the mother cat feed her tiny kitten cat ignoring all other cats in the family until they left

Cat got very fat then became famous

I couldn’t stand the favouritism

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MarshaBradyo · 10/09/2018 20:23

Also not keen on Roald Dahl and Mr Men are far too wordy

GunpowderGelatine · 10/09/2018 20:24

Absolutely 100% agree with Roald Dahl books!

And forgive me for copying and pasting someone else's words, but the headteacher in Outnumbered explains perfectly why Roald Dahl books are shite:

Matilda, a very special little girl who refuses to buckle under and so defeats all those stupid grown-ups. It’s a great story. Shall I tell you something Karen, I’d ban Roald Dahl. He’s probably ruined more children’s lives than polio. Ruined them with the idea that all adults are stupid and can routinely be outwitted by small children and the occasional fox. You see you’re a kid and we’re adults. We outrank you! We’re stronger than you. We know more stuff than you and we can reach things you can’t. I guess we may sometimes come up with some stupid rules but nonetheless, “them’s” the rules.

Karen: Not all of the grownups in Matilda were stupid. Her form tutor Miss Honey was nice. She let Matilda go and live with her.

Headteacher: In the real world, dear, Miss Honey would be sacked for inappropriate behaviour. Now if you like reading, I recommend this.

K: “Lord of the Flies”

HT: Yep, that’s what really happens when children get to make rules. Corpses everywhere. So Karen Brockman, what are we going to do about your little complaint?

MarshaBradyo · 10/09/2018 20:25

Hairy Maclary has the best rhyme

MarshaBradyo · 10/09/2018 20:30

The David Williams Elephant book
I can barely bring myself to read it the elephant annoys me so much

MarshaBradyo · 10/09/2018 20:30

Walliams

fifipop185 · 10/09/2018 20:38

DS has ASD and has built his bedtime routine around Mr sodding Men and we read one each night. I detest them with a passion. Each one either has a poor joke at the end or a slightly smug moral to it. Many of them poke fun at being fat or bald or not as clever as others. DS can't/won't sleep without reading one. Confused

MarshaBradyo · 10/09/2018 20:42

My heart would sink when it was Mr Scatterbrain or the wordy wizard one. Or the terrible fake last ones, not written by the main guy, with the typo

Nandocushion · 10/09/2018 20:49

We hate anything by Michael Morpurgo (awful plodding prose, MIL keeps buying them) and, dare I say it, AA Milne. We were given multiple copies of Pooh books when the DC were younger and (with the exception of the poetry books which we all liked) couldn't get through a single chapter. I'd never realised how much they bore ON and ON and ON. I felt so guilty that we only really liked the films but at least they'd been edited.

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 11/09/2018 11:28

Nando I’ve read a couple of Morpurgo books with my boys - while I like the storyline, I agree the prose is dreadful. Long, meandering sentences with commas all over the place is my overriding memory! Kids love them though. They asked me to buy some when they read The Butterfly Lion at school.

Deliphant · 11/09/2018 11:36

I hated Amazing Grace, it's irritating and preachy - teachers love it so it's probably in every infant school library.

Ohyesiam · 11/09/2018 11:43

Amazed at people saying Julia Donaldson books don’t scan or have a weird rhythm .
I always found the way they flow really satisfying.
Especially Room on the Broom and Tiddler. But my all time favourite to read aloud to small children is Smartest Giant in Town.

QueenOfCatan · 11/09/2018 12:41

Any of the Mr Moo books. She loves them.

I won't have The Large family in my house at all after buying the one where Mummy Large was ill Angry

mostdays · 11/09/2018 12:44

Into the Forest by Anthony Browne

QueenOfCatan · 11/09/2018 12:58

Reading through this thread properly is making me twitch. I worked in childcare before having DD (still do but a childminder now so I control the book content to an extent!) and this thread is reminding me of so many books I don't like.

Highway rat is the only JD book that I don't like. I love most of the others and only vaguely dislike The Smartest Giant in Town, but I cannot get along with The Highway Rat.

I was bored one evening babysitting my charges when I nannied and attempted to read a Rainbow Fairies book to see what all the fuss was about (9yo charge and her friends loved them). Never again.

DolorestheNewt · 11/09/2018 13:01

Tom's Midnight Garden. Lots of people really love it, but Tom just gets on my tits.

MistressDeeCee · 11/09/2018 13:03

David Walliams books. Horribly sexist, just like his TV shows forever derogatory about women.

Horrid Henry is annoying. Winnie The Pooh, boring. I gave the Pooh bookset away as DCs weren't interested

Isentthesignal · 11/09/2018 13:08

Thomas the Tank Engine
Winnie the Pooh
Anything by Enid Blyton,

Love all the How to train a dragon books, the fi;ms weren't half as good....really well written and easy to give all the characters different accents.

TheVonTrappFamilySwingers · 11/09/2018 13:20

Yes all those bloody Rainbow Fairies. Utter shite.

PILs have sent plenty of Aussie themed books over to the DC here in Blighty and some are great but oh my some are utter bollocks: My Grandma is a Goanna and Hairy Nose Itchy Butt. FFS.

mikado1 · 11/09/2018 14:19

Love The Highway Rat but I always drop the repeated line from the refrain. Also how can anyone hate Alfie? I love Shirley Donaldson and have just got a Morpurgo for Ds on the back of a different thread - not good? Shout out the ones you prefer please!

MagicMix · 11/09/2018 14:21

Anything where the author's name is not on the front page of the book is guaranteed dross (a lot of mass-produced books based on TV programmes are like this).

I hate Can't You Sleep, Little Bear. It has the word bear approximately three hundred times per page so that it loses all meaning and I feel like I'm basically just gibbering. Also I reckon little bear is just trying it on.

We were once given a book called Bears on Chairs that makes me feel my brain is dripping out through my ears. Bear, share, chair, there, fair, bleh, bleh, bleh. I like rhyme in children's books but not the exact same rhyme over and over and over.

CruCru · 11/09/2018 14:40

I absolutely hate the Big Pancake (so repetitive) but for some reason can cope with the Gingerbread Man.

Catastic · 11/09/2018 15:16

The Thomas the Tank Engine books are like some kind of fascist rationale for working hard and keeping your head down, because getting out of line gets you in Deep Shit. Which one gets walled up alive in a tunnel because he’s slightly vain about his paintwork?

Brilliant comment @InezGraves. This deserves a thread/theory all of its own.
Are we imagining the Fat Controller (note he has no name - dehumanising) as some sort of Mussolini-type figure?

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