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Original poster

Children’s books you don’t like?

274 replies

MagnaDoodle · 09/09/2018 19:36

Anyone got a book or two that makes them inwardly sigh and weep when DC asks for them?

I had to read my most disliked book today. Burglar Bill. Dirge.

OP posts:
BlooperReel · 13/09/2018 13:52

The dinosaur that popped, any and all of this series. DD loves them, but they make me feel a bit sick.

BlooperReel · 13/09/2018 13:52

*pooped even. Sure he pops too though.

wanderings · 13/09/2018 14:40

@Lucked Out of interest, which Mr Men books have you censored because you didn't like the message?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Children's books
BigGapMum · 13/09/2018 14:44

Any in the Night Garden book.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 13/09/2018 15:11

Blue kangaroo.
Charlie and Lola

On other hand love Oliver Jeffers

Aethelthryth · 13/09/2018 16:34

Beatrix Potter. I'm still recovering from the kittens being wrapped in pastry.

"Duck in the Truck". Everything rhymed with duck or truck and it was as boring as fuck.

Sproutpie · 13/09/2018 17:07

We’re going on a bear hunt - well off you fuckity fuck go then, and when you get there keep fucking going 😡😡😡

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 13/09/2018 17:19

Haha, if only...my kids love that story I know it by rote

Ormally · 13/09/2018 18:21

Bop's Hiccups, starring Abney and Teal. It seemed to reincarnate, I could swear I'd dropped it down behind the drawers/donated or burned it several times, but no.
Also, did anyone have the mini Peppa Pig board square board book set? They all seemed to be going on one narrative track with words of 1-2 syllables each, then somehow completely change story within the middle to latter pages. As if stoned, or possibly someone had just mixed mine up and glued them together in the wrong order?

mellicauli · 13/09/2018 18:34

David Williams..not funny...terrible cliches...badly written..utterly predictable..

madmomma · 13/09/2018 18:37

I love all of the books mentioned on this thread apart from beast quest and rainbow fairies/those lost kitten-type shite series.

CalmConfident · 13/09/2018 19:14

Just to say.good to see the giant jam.sandwich get a positive mention up thread - a favourite here :)

Agree with many here, tabby mctat always too hard!

MargaretDribble · 13/09/2018 19:57

I love the Giant Jam Sandwich too.

eatinglesschocolate · 13/09/2018 20:08

ipswichwitch We love the tiger who came to tea in our house (dd's now 22 and 17) but your description of it is the funniest thing I've read in a while!! Cheered up our family WhatsApp chat no end!!Grin

LoveObject · 13/09/2018 20:24

Has anyone said Enid Blyton's Five Find-Outers series? I wasn't averse to them as a child, but am currently reading The Mystery of Banshee Towers to DS, and, dear God, the snobbery.

Poor Ern, the policeman's nephew, who is graciously allowed to tag along with the middle-class children as comic relief (he says 'Coo!' and 'Luvaduck!' and composes bad 'pomes' when out on his bike), and also the way in which any working-class adult who doesn't fawn over the ghastly Fatty is treated. A brusque official working on the gate of a stately home has Fatty wag a finger at him and say 'Mustn't grumble! Mustn't throw a tantrum!' when all he's done is say dogs aren't allowed, and complain that the children had two dogs inside in the house the day before, despite knowing the rules.

CoffeeChocolateWine · 13/09/2018 21:07

Where the wild things are
The Jolly Postman
Rainbow Fairies
Dr Seuss
Charlie and Lola - I like the programme but the books are really hard to read well
Winnie the Pooh - for some reason I thought I loved Winnie the Pooh so bought a lovely treasury of stories for my DC. Absolutely awful to read aloud and my heart sinks every we time we read it...but my kids love it. I din’t know why!

Ormally · 13/09/2018 23:34

Oh yes, and a cautionary tale: there was a Paddington book that was released by M&S I think, last Christmas. Bought (not by me) as a cute Christmassy themed idea for 7yo but the theme was of someone Paddington found on a roof with a sack and assumed to be Santa so helped him. Turned out was a burglar. This then consumed DD's mind regularly, leading to a lot of rather fearful questions which is just what you want when excitement is mounting and going to sleep is a long job anyway.

Justgivemesomepeace · 13/09/2018 23:38

Charlie and Lola. All start the same ' I have this little sister Lola, she is small and very funny.' Then it's all she said, he said, lotta said, she said......

Where the wild things are. The pictures give me the heebie geebies.

DarkDarkNight · 14/09/2018 00:03

The Elmer Books and Maisy books. Just so badly written. Awkward prose and so boring.

Iggy Peck, Architect. Style over substance, not very well written in my opinion.

SleepingStandingUp · 14/09/2018 00:06

The Charlie and Lola books written from the episodes are bloody awful and I hate reading Paw Patrol too.

SleepingStandingUp · 14/09/2018 00:07

Justgivemesomepeace that'll teache to at least read the last page of replies!! They are soooo bad

MysteriesOfTheOrganism · 14/09/2018 06:54

Burglar Bill??? YABVU! I used to read that to my daughter - it was one of the favourites!

Fadingmemory · 14/09/2018 07:21

Topsy and Tim. The books disappeared, only reappearing when the kind donor visited. I loathed them - so twee. ‘Wibbly wobbly jellies’ - oh please!

shins · 14/09/2018 07:38

Cannot stand Harry Potter. Dull, derivative, plodding and far too long.

Little Women was not much fun when I returned to it as an adult. So syrupy and preachy and religious.

Itsnotabingthingisit · 14/09/2018 10:37

Any book that is really pretentious, a book that's ' look at me, aren't I THE cleverest author...

' This book just ate my dog'

' You must wear a hat'

Those kind of books.

I can't wait until DC is old enough to have books read to her..she should now really. My Mrs can get her to listen to Milly Molly Mandy but only occasionally .

I love the Julia Donaldson ones , whether it's Axel Sheffler illustrations, Lydia Monks..whoever really. The Paper Dolls is our favourite..ever since Ashley Jensen read it on 'bedtime stories'. We also bought ' Jack and Flum Flum Tree after James Bolam read it.