Children’s books you don’t like?

[MagnaDoodle]

Anyone got a book or two that makes them inwardly sigh and weep when DC asks for them?

I had to read my most disliked book today. Burglar Bill. Dirge.

My 6 year olds still love the Oi books. They are probably not the target age but can see Oi Platypus making an appearance at Christmas maybe. I like those too so that's ok.

I love Each Peach Pear Plum. That and Burglar Bill are my favourites.

I love the dog bottom swap, it's hilarious.

We have some amazing richard scarry books about vehicles that are dated but fantastically detailed and loved by the kids but they are so loooong to read.

Anything with noise buttons gets my goat, the whole point is to use your own imagination and effects. Otherwise you might as well put the telly on. Especially if toddler gets fixated on pressing one noise and can't even hear the sodding book.

A least Thomas books are relatively short.

Spot books are rubbish. As is anything the kids pick by themselves out of the library, of hundreds of books it just has to be a Walliams, there was one particularly memorable one about the hippo and the moon.

My kids loved The Mole who knew if was None of his Business.

I can't stand We're Going on a Bear Hunt! I hate the repetition of it.

DD loves David Walliams' books, but I think they're a bit classist (there is often some "vulgar" working class character) and I also don't like the unbelievable personality transplants the parents always have at the end. Even my daughter says "someone always dies in the books."

I usually love Julia Donaldson, but I can't stand The Highway Rat. It's just silly! What's to stop the rat just coming out of the cave again, really cross that the duck just nicked his horse, and basically butchering the lot of them in revenge?

DD has one called The Mood Hoover, which is just terrible. And some others about a boy that does stupid things like switch off the sun and unplug the ocean. I can't bear them.

Mr Men books. There's far too many words and quite complicated for children to understand and boring to read.
Most of Julia Donaldson's. Repetitive , long and boring.

When my boys were small my dad bought them two books that just grossed me out.

Scratch and sniff fart books

They got read while grandad was there and then I charity shopped them. I don’t like reading books that make me nauseous.

The Gruffallo (reaches for tin hat).

The mouse is very smug isn’t he

I loathe Thomas the Tank Engine - both the original books and the ones that match the TV series. They are beyond dull.

I hate Hairy McClary with a passion. I can’t even put into words why’s i just think they’re really bad books.

Aliens Love Underpants etc. Clearly written by someone who thought “hmmm, what do children like? I know - pants.” and they wrote a shit rhyme to vaguely try to make it work. I imagine the author think they’re really “whacky”. It just annoys me.

I can't stand We're Going on a Bear Hunt. I'm not sure exactly what it is about it, but it really grates on me.

I hate the Mr Men books.

Ds has one called Brian the Very Smelly Bear which I hate. Also one called the Fish where the fish is apparently too small to get the bread from a little girl but big enough to rescue her when she falls in.....

I love You Choose but it is not allowed as a bedtime story as it involves far too much discussion!

Hairy McClary! Yes, I bought these for DS1 back in the noughties on the basis that everyone on Mumsnet loved them. Was baffled when I started reading them. Thankfully DS didn't take to them either and they were charity shopped a year later.

I hate Goodbye Mog.

It's actually a really lovely story but I can't read it without balling my eyes out. I'm actually tearing up just writing this haha. Pathetic!

I call it the sad book and refuse to read it haha

Rainbow Fairies.... 9000books and only one plot. Sadly SE1 adores them but can read them independently at least!

I like Julia Donaldson except for scarves for cold giraffes which do not fucking rhyme at all in any accent around here!

^^I have a typical RP accent and say bahth, grahss etc, but I don't say girahffe! So even I can't make it rhyme I sort of fudge it when reading it to dd (who loves it).
The audio CD has a great French accent for the dog and 'but I keep getting stuck in ze muuuuud' has become a bit of a catchphrase for me and my French-learning 13yo.

Yes to Rainbow Fairies....there's so much kitten, fairy, princess shite written to attract girls.

I adore Burglar Bill but hated reading Funnybones, which my son loved, especially the dinosaur one.

Tabby McTat, I can’t get the rhythm at all.

Oh god I used to hate going on a bear hunt and quietly seeth at the non rhythmic way the words are written. You’d think you could get it into a sing songy kind of pattern and all of a sudden it would abruptly change. Such a clunky and awkward book to read.

^^So much this. I take it all back about Julia Donaldson being the most overrated children's author. No, it's Michael Rosen. He's just a terrible terrible poet and I don't agree with him about education either.

You don't agree with Michael Rosen? Clutches pearls.

The dinosaur that pooped a planet. Hate, hate, hate it. DC know I hate it and think it's hilarious to make me read it

The Disney story books are soooooo long! I miss pages and shorten them a LOT!

There's a YouTube video of Rosen reading bear hunt. If you copy his style it works!

DK readers star wars and lego Star Wars books yaawwnn. It was before the age my son could actually read. Soo boring, i used to skip pages to get through it.