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Original poster

Is your man comfortable with periods?

106 replies

littlemisscomper · 08/09/2018 19:12

I couldn't think how to phrase the question, but I was wondering how people's partners cope with the thought of periods.Would you feel embarrassed asking him to pick up sanitary products for you, or would he feel embarrassed buying them? Is he generally thoughtful with making hot water bottles/buying surprise chocolate/fully understanding that you might not feel like having sex or does he seem oblivious to how it affects you? Can you openly talk about periods or is it a taboo subject? I've never had a long term relationship and it's not come up in conversation with any of the guys I've been with, so just wondered what the general male attitude is towards the subject!

OP posts:

Scoleah · 08/09/2018 21:46

My Hubby is fine talking about it, didn't like buying the Sanitary products though! But wouldnanyway, and buy me chocolate and put a wheat bag on for me if needed

TheDowagerCuntess · 08/09/2018 21:46

Hmm, we don't really talk about it at all.

I don't get PMT - my period often takes me by surprise (I used to get terrible cramps as a teenager, so It wasn't always like this), even though it's very regular.

I am lucky that life goes on as normal (full sympathy for those that are delibitated by periods). I don't need chocolate or a hot water bottle and I use a mooncup so no need to ever pick up sanpro. I only wouldn't have PIV sex on days 1 and 2, and we'd do something else if we were in the mood.

So it doesn't really feature as A Thing in our relationship at all. I don't think he is fazed by it, though.

NotTakenUsername · 08/09/2018 21:47

Graphic.

VickieCherry · 08/09/2018 21:48

Yup, fine. He works for a chocolate company and knows when to bring me some home 😆

AfterSchoolWorry · 08/09/2018 21:58

I'm amazed by the amount of involvement people's husbands and partners have in their periods!

I've never thought about my husband being involved in any way. I just never discussed it.

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 08/09/2018 21:59

but I was wondering how people's partners cope with the thought of periods.

Cope? Jesus, it’s a normal female bodily function - there’s no ‘coping’ with anything on their part as if it’s some sort of heroic, traumatic experience for them. Maybe if there was less bullshit about having to ‘protect’ men from anything menstruation related (like using blue water on adverts for pads) there’d be less ignorance/more understanding about women’s bodies/experiences.

DH is well versed. Even knows about Javelin Arse™️

Spudlet · 08/09/2018 22:00

Before I had ds, I used to have awful periods. I used to pass out, they were so painful! So I needed dh to look after me at times, which he did. It can't really be kept a dark secret when one is wilting to the floor or literally writhing in agony for a day or so every few months, so he knows all about them.

They're not so bad now, but he still brings me a hot water bottle and painkillers on bad months, would pick up san pro if I needed him to, and takes ds off so I can put my feet up for a few hours (which is all I need now, happily - I even remain fully conscious. Woohoo!). He also puts up with my PMT, which invariably seems to send me slightly doolally for one day a month . I always think I'm being perfectly rational at the time, but he can always tell...

Original poster

littlemisscomper · 08/09/2018 22:37

topsyanddim, don't panic, I'm neither a journalist nor a creepy period fetishist (is that a thing?). I haven't been constantly posting replies as I didn't see it would add anything to the thread, but I am appreciating the posts! It's actually reassuring that the vast majority of partners seem to be totally 'cool' with it all.

I personally feel pretty rotten when I'm on my period, the first day or 2 anyway. It would be nice to think that any future partner was accepting and empathetic about it rather than feeling grossed out.

OP posts:

gamerchick · 08/09/2018 22:40

And you’ve translated that dumb luck into being a bit of a condescending... person

Or they're a man.

GoJohnnyGoGoGoGo · 08/09/2018 22:46

I've been with DH for 18 years, we met when we were 16 & 17. He will listen and sympathise with any period related moan I direct him. He is quite happy to pick up products. He has been known to buy feminex and tampax at 2am because I couldn't sleep. It's a bodily function, like any other. There shouldn't be an issue. In my opinion.

Passmethecrisps · 08/09/2018 22:53

I think this is all very interesting actually.

Other than my3 year issue with the implant I am lucky to have trouble free periods. I might have a day when I am a bit crampy and perhaps more emotional but that’s it really. I consider myself lucky. My dh suffers from IBS so I suppose in the same way that some couples will talk about periods because it has a life impact, pooing gets a lot of air time here.

He wouldn’t think to buy me supplies on his own unless maybe in Costco and there was a deal on.

It isn’t a thing really. It’s just shopping and life together.

I teach relationships and sex education to teenagers now and I really wish we could just think about bodies and needs rather than being all uptight about it.

Faster · 08/09/2018 22:57

He doesn’t mind in the slightest. It’s just one of those things that comes with dating adult women. He doesn’t buy surpise chocolate as I’m not a walking cliche. But he’ll buy tampons, and know which are the ones I like, if I need him too. Same as he’ll buy bin bags or I’ll but his shaving foam. And as to the sex part, neither or us wants sex with the other if the other doesn’t want sex.

Queenofmyownheart · 08/09/2018 22:59

My ex partner was weirdly offended by my periods 😂 he once went mental at me cus there was sanitary towels (new ones in the wrapper) under my side of the bed in a storage box and he saw them when he moved the bed. Literally was such a asshole about it. My new partner is lovely, after the ex I was really unsure how to approach them with DP, as it happens I've been having awful problems and he is an absolute gem. Tells me to stay in bed, sees to my kids, goes to the shop to get endless painkillers for me, does my shopping for me. I don't ask him to get sanitary products for me but that's just me, he probably would 😂

hiveofmumsandvillainy · 08/09/2018 23:04

My DH will happily make hot water bottles, bring me chocolate, wash cloth pads, and boil a mooncup in a saucepan of hot water

Nottotheirstandards · 08/09/2018 23:04

Yes and dh comes from a culture where men do not ask or even learn much about periods. It is a bit of a taboo subject where he is from. However he will buy and get anything I need. Will discuss it with me if I say something. Is not worried about it and we don't have sex during my period for religious reasons and also I just don't want to. I think most men are fine with them in this day and age. I hope....

Iwantaunicorn · 08/09/2018 23:11

My dh is great with periods, happy to buy tampons if I’ve run out (just tell him the colour) and will often buy a treat at the same time in case I fancy it. He knows when I’m about to come on - my memory is shot to shit, he seems to have a knack for remembering/spotting the signs (I suspect 5 years of ttc has something to do with it!). He’s also been my hot water bottle during really awful cramps a few times.

GlitterGlassEye · 08/09/2018 23:17

Yeah, my dp would get them no problem but I do most of the shopping and I have a massive stash. If I ever ran out, he’d be down at the local 24hr Asda to get me what I need. The only problem is that I know he’d come back with a selection worth £20 for varying flows. I don’t do hot water bottles and all that shirt but my Pmt has ramped up majorly this year so he’s a saint in that aspect for putting up with me.

Thisimmortalcurl · 08/09/2018 23:17

Up until my mid thirties I had very very bad PMT, I ended up taking anti depressant 10 days a month to try to help .. which it did.
I’ve had various other gyno issues and at one point the first couple of days actually felt like early labour.
Apart from a very sore right thigh ( weird ) I don’t have nearly as many issues these days but Dh has understood and been pretty sympathetic throughout.
I don’t really ask him to buy tampons etc but he would get them if I needed them without issue .
The idea of sex when I’m on my period dies not appeal to him at all though.
I do though try to on my side keep the minging side of life away from him .. which is quite hard when he had seen you give birth .
I would change a tampon or do a poo with him there if I could avoid.
I would pee though .

BrazzleDazzleDay · 08/09/2018 23:19

Ten years and 4 dc down the line my dh wouldnt bat an eyelid.

Infact yesterday i noticed i have a black spot beside my vulva, im fairly sure dh knows what it looks like better than me so of course he was the first person i asked

GlitterGlassEye · 08/09/2018 23:19

Oh and he’d happily have sex with me any day of the month.

Fatted · 08/09/2018 23:20

DH generally is alright with them. He would prefer not to see the actual blood which I'm fine with. He generally doesn't buy tampons etc, largely because I do the main shop. But also because I know he would probably get me light flow ones when I needed extra super maxi . To be fair to him, for most of our relationship I've either been on contraception to stop my periods or pregnant. I only really had regular periods for the last 2 years and now I'm back on the injection with no more periods!

QueenofallIsee · 08/09/2018 23:21

Mine is top notch, with me and his teenage daughter. Sex is fine as long as I feel up to it, he would even go down but i find that a bit too much! That said I am very very light flow and am only on for 2 days usually

CherryAide · 08/09/2018 23:22

Mine is fine but doesn't get it at all. Sent him to shop to get tampons. He thought the size correlated with the size of your vagina so he bought me 'regular' ones. Nearly died with laughter!!

allthegoodusernameshavegone · 08/09/2018 23:27

My DH is fine about periods, it’s the bloody menopausal crazy bitch he now lives with that is slightly scaring him!

GlitterGlassEye · 08/09/2018 23:27

brazzledazzle dp would be the first I’d speak to as well.

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