Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

Is your man comfortable with periods?

106 replies

littlemisscomper · 08/09/2018 19:12

I couldn't think how to phrase the question, but I was wondering how people's partners cope with the thought of periods.Would you feel embarrassed asking him to pick up sanitary products for you, or would he feel embarrassed buying them? Is he generally thoughtful with making hot water bottles/buying surprise chocolate/fully understanding that you might not feel like having sex or does he seem oblivious to how it affects you? Can you openly talk about periods or is it a taboo subject? I've never had a long term relationship and it's not come up in conversation with any of the guys I've been with, so just wondered what the general male attitude is towards the subject!

OP posts:

Alicatz66 · 08/09/2018 21:19

You lot are hilarious !!! What's with all the hot water bottles and chocolate bars and back rubs !!!! ... it's a period .. you're not ill .. what a bunch of princesses !

SwordToFlamethrower · 08/09/2018 21:20

My DP is wonderful. He brings me hot water bottles and pain killers when needed. He sympathies and is brilliant. I've never had a partner who wasn't fine with it.

We have sex when on. We just put down our sex blanket to save the sheets. It really helps with my cramps too. DP is very happy he can help with that.

I would be very very suspicious of any man who wasn't sympathetic to it. It's part of womanhood and there's no getting away from it.

NotTakenUsername · 08/09/2018 21:24

Alicatz66 bless you.

You have mistaken your genetic pain free periods as an indicator that you are strong instead of someone simply benefiting from dumb luck.

And you’ve translated that dumb luck into being a bit of a condescending... person.

SwordToFlamethrower · 08/09/2018 21:25

You what Alicats?!
Your lack of understanding and knowledge on menstrual cycles and various health conditions is terribly embarrassing.

Steelesauce · 08/09/2018 21:26

He'll buy me stuff if I ask, accepts I'm mardy around that time and isn't squeamish. He's never bought me surprise chocolate or hot water bottles just coz I'm on though, although if I asked him to he would. Just like if I asked him and I didn't have my period so I don't think it's a sympathy thing, more that he just does as he's told really

goldhen · 08/09/2018 21:29

I have severe endometriosis as do quite a lot of women. I can often handle it but have been admitted to hospital twice due to over 2 months constant heavy blood loss. I’m certainly not being a ‘princess’ about it Incredibly offensive to those who suffer.

ToriaPumpkin · 08/09/2018 21:29

My husband has no issue with any aspect of it, which is good because I've had some gynaecological problems since having our second child which have involved various treatments and medications etc.

He's bought me pads and tampons in the past and will ask for specific painkillers. He doesn't bring me chocolate but would if I asked and he knows I get bad cramps and feel utterly drained some months so picks up the slack with the kids those days.

I've also been known to ask my oldest friend's husband to pick pads up for me when I was staying with them with both of my very young children and suddenly came on in a dramatic fashion. He rolled his eyes and we laughed but went down to the supermarket and bought pads and a bottle of wine.

Cupoteap · 08/09/2018 21:30

I don't live with dp but as a single parent of two teenage daughters he has to deal with this so I have no problems

RebelRogue · 08/09/2018 21:34

OH is fine with them. Buys sanpro if i need him to, enquires if I need painkillers and makes sympathetic noises when I moan. He sometimes buys treats too,but then again he normally does. Never pressures about sex , period or not.

I say fine instead of great, because there's nothing great about behaving like a grown up and treating a body function as normal.

RebelRogue · 08/09/2018 21:36

@Alicatz66 you're the spoilt one for not having horrendous cramps,headaches and bleeding that soaks through tampons,pads and clothes in a matter of hours.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 08/09/2018 21:36

at the poster who said that as an independent woman they buy their own sanpro and chocolate if they want it. CONGRATULATIONS!

you do realise that we don’t all turn into little girls every time we have our period, don’t you, and have to rely on our menz.

I’m pretty sure that, like me, nearly everyone posting buys their own sanpro most of the time, doesn’t fancy chocolate every cycle and also doesn’t need a hot water bottle every cycle. They’re simply saying that WHEN they need their other half to do it, they’re happy to step up and not embarrassed

MN is sooo full of these posters who exaggerate what people say. It’s quite boring. Surely you know what they really mean?

C0untDucku1a · 08/09/2018 21:38

Yes my dh is perfectly comfortable with periods and buying sanitary products and making me got water bottles. He is not a 14 year old boy.

topsyanddim · 08/09/2018 21:39

Thread reported

GingerCatBigBalls · 08/09/2018 21:40

When I say I have stomach pain my dp asks if my "red flower is blooming"

(Nb it's a game of thrones reference and deliberately grim..)

And yes, he makes appropriately sympathetic noises and fetches tampax etc. Just the same as if anything else was causing me pain, really.

Gettingbackonmyfeet · 08/09/2018 21:40

It's never really come up that I need dp to buy them but generally he's fine

He's in the care sector though so to be honest bodily functions don't faze him (frankly as he points out after working a ward in a care home with c diff nothing else really comes close to grossing him out)

I'm generally a bit private with the whole thing but that's really not his fault

Exdh would get thing sod I asked but bumbled and went a bit red because his mother taught him it was all a bit shameful but kudos to him...he knew that was odd and tried really hard to get past that

AfterSchoolWorry · 08/09/2018 21:40

I've never involved dh in them. I've never asked him to buy anything period related.

I don't have hot bottles etc I just take paracetamol and Neurofen.

ohtheholidays · 08/09/2018 21:41

My DH is brilliant,he buys any sanitary products I need,picks me up chocolate and salty snacks without me having to ask,makes sure we have in painkillers that help me,picks me up magazines,makes me a hot water bottle when I need one,has tucked me up on the sofa(when I've had really bad periods)if I'm feeling ill.

Rubs my back and my legs in the middle of the night if I can't sleep because of cramps.Never expects sex unless I wanted it.

We have 2DD's and he picks up sanitary products and treats and painkillers for our DD14 and he hated when she started her periods because she was in pain,he'll tuck her up on the sofa with a hot water bottle and hot chocolate.

My Dad was all ways much better about my periods than my Mum was,he'd buy anything myself and my Mum needed and he'd wrap me up on the sofa with a hot water bottle and a hot sweet tea and he'd let me have the day off school when it was really bad.

We have 3DS's and they're already brilliant with me and they're little sister and they've all taken time out to take care of they're girlfriends when they've been on they're periods.

So believe me OP not all men are clueless or horrible when it comes to periods.

GingerCatBigBalls · 08/09/2018 21:41

@topsyanddim - what's wrong with the thread?

topsyanddim · 08/09/2018 21:42

I just think the original post and premise of be question feels a little ‘off’. The op hasn’t been back either

Gettingbackonmyfeet · 08/09/2018 21:44

Why does it feel off? Surely that's a bit overkill?

DieAntword · 08/09/2018 21:45

Wouldn’t think twice about buying sanitary products. Wouldn’t get me surprise chocolate or whatever and honestly I’d find it a bit patronising, it’s just a period, I’ll take an ibuprofen and deal with it. He is grossed out by the thought of period sex (even though it can be the time I’m most up for it) but has been willing occasionally with a condom. Yeah we can openly talk about it.

This guy has seen me push two babies out of there (“like a warzone” is how he described the first one) so there’s no good being coy about bloody bits.

GingerCatBigBalls · 08/09/2018 21:45

Fair enough, I guess it would be a handy topic for printing in "femail" or other tabloid rubbish.

Whatsthisbear · 08/09/2018 21:46

Mine are so horrendous that DH had no choice but to cope with them and my needs and going to the shop. Although I have to say it's only in the last 2 years ( married 20) he has actually managed to buy the correct items and that is by taking a photo to send me when he is holding the item in the shop! However he will happily keep me supplied in chocolate, cake, crisps and bite his tongue when I'm a hormonal cow

ToriaPumpkin your oldest friends husband sounds like a star for also buying a bottle of wine

topsyanddim · 08/09/2018 21:46

@gettingbackonmyfeet just a lot of questions asking women to talk about their periods in graphic detail. For no apparent reason.

elsieskelpie · 08/09/2018 21:46

DH, being an adult and all, is totally fine about periods. He buys sanitary towels if they are on the shopping list.
OP do you have particularly difficult periods for this to be a source of concern? I don't have problem periods and would not want a hot water bottle, and surprise chocolate is welcome at any time of the month.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Swipe left for the next trending thread