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Original poster

Can’t I just get married in my house, in my pyjamas?!

70 replies

POPholditdown · 07/09/2018 00:07

I know I can’t really, sadlySad.. What is the easiest way to get married in the UK these days?

Me and OH don’t want a party, or any ‘event’ really. My worst nightmare is being the centre of attention for a day, or ever. My family is a bit of a nightmare and the world will definitely imlode if they’re all in the same room at the same time. And tbh, I’m just a bit lazy, socially. Luckily my OH also doesn’t want a fuss, we just want to be married, without all of the bits that go with it.

Plus, he has unpredictabile abdo pain and I get regular migraines and very bad tinnitus so if they both hit us on the day, a wedding would be the last thing we need!

I guess it’ll just be just us at registry office, but do they treat it wedding-y? Or do you just go in, sign and be on your way?

Has anyone done this? What was it like?

OP posts:
Blubellesmum · 07/09/2018 00:21

I'm in the US, but went to the magistrates office, said I do,paid the fee and walked out married. No fuss at all. Loved it

Dottierichardson · 07/09/2018 00:21

You have to have an appointment in advance, they meet with you and your partner separately to fill in the details for the marriage licence and ask some questions like each other's date of birth, parents' names, to check actually know each other/not coerced. Then you book a date. You pay a fee and order copies of the certificate, fee varies depending on how many copies you want, having more than one useful as can be required in various situations later.

For the ceremony you can usually take a CD if you want music, apart from that you need two witnesses, I think that if you ask in advance at the registry office they can recommend professional witnesses if you prefer not to bring people you know. You can wear whatever you want, as long as it's something you can wear in public. You can have flowers/rings or not. They go over your forms again in case any mistakes in the record. Then they do the ceremony. I think the wording is standard, I assume you can vary them if desired. Very fast from start to finish. If during the week even more discreet as tends to be few people around.

AornisHades · 07/09/2018 00:25

Several friends have mine have done the 'pop down the registry office in jeans and grab a couple of witnesses' weddings. MN is good for rounding up a pair of witnesses.

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Weddings
Kismett · 07/09/2018 00:27

We went to the registry office and had a nice lunch out with his parents after. I was surprised at how meaningful the ceremony felt. It was so short and simple, but such a fond memory for us.

They also complimented me on my dress and I felt like a proper bride!

Original poster
POPholditdown · 07/09/2018 00:50

Good to know it’s not unheard of then! I’ll have to keep MN witnesses in mind, if professionals aren’t available.

Great idea about having it midweek. There’s a taxi rank pretty much outside the registry here, so we can make a quick exit tooGrin

I’ve spotted just married couples on occasion, having their photos done. That’s not too bad, but it’s the bystanders watching and the ‘wahays’ from the locals at the pub opposite that makes me cringe a bit. I’m hoping we can just look like passersby and go unnoticed.Blush

OP posts:
bananafish81 · 07/09/2018 00:55

We got married on a Tuesday afternoon, with a few very close family members, did our thing, in and out in under 30 mins. Then went to the café opposite the registry office for burgers and all day breakfast. No muss or fuss.

(we did subsequently have a big wedding blessing and celebration, but that's a wedding, not a marriage. Absolutely not obligatory!)

Dottierichardson · 07/09/2018 00:59

I’ve spotted just married couples on occasion, having their photos done.

You don't have to have photos done, we just had the witnesses do some shots inside, digital cameras make it fairly straightforward to do. Then we went to a bar for a drink.

PerspicaciaTick · 07/09/2018 01:01

You want a statutory ceremony. Every district has to offer a statutory ceremony option. The ceremony will cost £50. It will be short, you will need two witnesses but the registrars will follow your lead as to how celebratory you would like to be (e.g. Rings are optional).
Some weeks before the ceremony (at least 1 month) you will both need to attend a notice of marriage appointment with you local registrar. It will cost you £35 each and you will have to take documentation proving your identity, nationality and address. You will also be asked to prove how any previous marriages ended.
Look on your local council's website for information.

vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 07/09/2018 01:03

I think the idea of this is absolutely joyful.

Yes. There HAS to be a pyjama wedding.

Dottierichardson · 07/09/2018 01:03

Have also had friends do similar OR make it into more of a 'do' with photos/flowers etc...just do what's right for you. We didn't want a huge fuss as had been together for years anyway, and preferred to spend the money on other things.

Plus by then had a few friends, who'd spent thousands on weddings, who were divorcing, and clearly regretted the debts they and/or their parents were still paying off from their lavish weddings.

InezGraves · 07/09/2018 06:24

We did it on a weekday lunchtime in a London registry office with two friends to witness — no rings, flowers, music, photos etc, and I wore jeans, biker boots and a very old green coat. It was lovely, low-key and inexpensive, though we did take our witnesses out for an excellent lunch afterwards.

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 07/09/2018 06:40

I did a registry office wedding. You can make it as "weddingey" or not as you like.
We did rings, friends reading poems and brought our own music to walk into.
But all this is optional, they will talk you through your options.
Our celebrant was very good and made the occasion feel special.

LadyOfTheCanyon · 07/09/2018 06:45

You can pay a celebrant to come to your house and do it in your PJs if you like. You still have to do the legal bit at some point at the registry office, but as PPs have said, that can be done on a Tuesday afternoon.

MayhemandMadness01 · 07/09/2018 06:55

Go to Gretna.

picklemepopcorn · 07/09/2018 07:12

I've got a completely inappropriate Berketex wedding dress advert! They should know we want PJs!

Fork2fork · 07/09/2018 07:14

I am with you POP keep putting it off because I can't stand the thought of photos, music, flowers and having to round up witnesses. Need to get my head round the 'wedding' stuff and get on with it. Not the marriage more than happy with the marriage side. Blubellasmum that exactly what we need, envious

SoupDragon · 07/09/2018 07:16

There have been a few MN witnessed weddings. Fuss free. Go for it!

(I’m in Croydon, am usually free and have my own pyjamas. Just saying.)

Rednaxela · 07/09/2018 07:18

Elope. Registry office. Job done.

We didn't even get our rings until about 3months later! Got a lovely couple off the street for witnesses. It was epic. Go for it.

hannah1992 · 07/09/2018 07:19

2 of our friends got married on a weekday afternoon. Nobody knew about it until after.

Nobody was offended in any way. It was their decision. They didn't want fuss and my friend is quite frugal so didn't want to spend alot of money. Saw it as a waste for 1 day. And they're not party people either.

Because me and dh know their personalities, we understood the decision fully

Laska5772 · 07/09/2018 07:26

.. the actual legal ceremony is super-quick and If you dont have rings (we didnt) its done and dusted in about 10 mins . In. confirm who you are. read out / repeat what they say about agreeing to be married. sign . witness sign . registrar signs . certificate written. handed over . Out..

You dont have to have guests or whatever,

Bibstersgirl · 07/09/2018 07:26

My sister’s second wedding was getting out of hand for her so she scrapped it and instead 5 of us went to the local turn hall a few days before Christmas. She wore a black mini dress and a soft top hat, I wore a black 70’s style trouser suit and floppy hat. My sis would look good in a sack cloth but in fairness, we both looked fab in the few b&w photos we took Smile I threw confetti over them and then we popped off to the pub to meet their friends for drinks. They’re tighter than ever nearly 25 years later and I love their marriage as much as I loved their wedding.

Laska5772 · 07/09/2018 07:29

We did have a few guests at the ceremony but no big fuss, it was a Wednesday morning .. and then we went home for a party in our garden after which lasted until midnight

ItsClemFandangoCanYouHearMe · 07/09/2018 07:30

I went off to Gretna Green just my DH and I, married in 20 mins. Back to the hotel to change to normal clothes, had a nice dinner and went and watched tv in the room.

The only thing we had was a lot of people taking photos on the way in and out as Gretna is a tourist attraction but everyone was really lovely. Our witnesses were a lovely couple on their wedding anniversary who did the same 20 years before.

It was so relaxed and exactly what we wanted. I have no regrets!

stellabird · 07/09/2018 07:31

I’m hoping we can just look like passersby and go unnoticed.

Don't stand outside posing for photographs - just walk out and off you go. Easy.

SausageOnAFork · 07/09/2018 07:33

When I went to the registry office for my marriage license, or whatever it’s called, there was a couple getting married who just grabbed a couple of people from the waiting room was witnesses.