Can’t I just get married in my house, in my pyjamas?!

[POPholditdown]

I know I can’t really, sadly.. What is the easiest way to get married in the UK these days?

Me and OH don’t want a party, or any ‘event’ really. My worst nightmare is being the centre of attention for a day, or ever. My family is a bit of a nightmare and the world will definitely imlode if they’re all in the same room at the same time. And tbh, I’m just a bit lazy, socially. Luckily my OH also doesn’t want a fuss, we just want to be married, without all of the bits that go with it.

Plus, he has unpredictabile abdo pain and I get regular migraines and very bad tinnitus so if they both hit us on the day, a wedding would be the last thing we need!

I guess it’ll just be just us at registry office, but do they treat it wedding-y? Or do you just go in, sign and be on your way?

Has anyone done this? What was it like?

sashh there is NO residency requirement in Scotland. So in theory you could turn ip on the day of your wedding, collect your paperwork, get married, then return home. All in the same day.

There is (of course) some paperwork preliminaries to ensure that you are not married to someone else, and that there are no complicated immigration issues, but if it is straight forward then that is completed 29 days before your wedding, and it can all be done by post!

I think you need to treat yourself to some lovely slippers to go with your PJs

Our wedding was very low-key, it was fantastic. Like the OP, we just wanted to be married, not get married.

It used to be quite the normal way to get married in the 70s. I called my mum the night before my first wedding and told her the time and where. There were six people there; I wore ordinary clothes, and we had a nice pub lunch after. On a Wednesday in October. Zero stress. No bridesmaids, no best man, no speeches. No party.

Depends where about in the UK you are OP. In Scotland you can get married anywhere (top of mountain or living room), at any time of day/night and celebrants are legally recognised. My DH didn’t need to go anywhere near the registry office for paperwork formalities, although he did come to collect the certificate after. Even that could have been posted to us if we had wanted.

My parents did this over 60 years ago, went out on a work day at lunch time, took two colleagues, got married. Dad's boss did say 'take the afternoon off' . Assume mum's boss did as well, they worked for the same company. No fuss,no drama, no family angst afterwards. And still married

Thanks venus

Worth considering if it ever happens.

OP

There you go, day trip to Scotland, or depending where you are from maybe an overnight.

Or sleeper train to Scotland, be woken up with a cup of tea and a celebrant, get on the next train home.

We eloped.
We had a spa morning and a massage. Popped down to the registry office and got married (hotel provided witnesses!) & then had a lovely meal in the hotel just the 2 of us. It was brilliant.

I love this thread, don't have a fella but eloping has always sounded great!

You definitely don't have to be resident in Scotland to get married here, just do the paperwork in advance (by post)
A lot of the more remote areas have "tiny wedding" local businesses for people eloping.

We were witnesses at a friend's wedding recently. They stayed in my parents' house, got married down the hill on a rock on the beach in their wellies then we all took the dogs for a long walk and had a BBQ.

They'd spoken to their humanist celebrant a fair bit beforehand by skype but there was no other fandango.

I eloped and we’re in Scotland. We booked the venueb(a remote cottage),called the registrar to make sure they were available and she sent over the paperwork. It is to be completed no earlier than 3 months in advance but they suggest no later than 28 days. Sentnit off had a chat to confirm some details on the phone. Celebrant called a week before to iron out details it was perfect, on a Scottish beach just me and DH. The company supplied venue, cake, photographer and highland piper. The photographer and piper were our witnesses. Google CREAR wee weddings.

We went to a registry office-the two of us,two witnesses(student photographers) and the registrar.in and out in five minutes.then we got some nice photos taken,went for dinner and jetted off on holiday(honeymoon) the next day.we told everyone part way through the holiday that we had got married.im socially anxious and it suited us perfectly

I have known two couples who married in registry offices with only a couple of witnesses. Both of no religion, but not estranged from family or with a low income. Both couples still married over 15 years later.

OP- go for it. Your day, no-one else.

@waywardsister that sounds bliss! We had a traditional wedding a looooong time ago. I would have loved this instead!

We had a registry office wedding in March, no fuss, no music, just us in our everyday clothes and 2 witnesses from mumsnet! Went out for a curry that night just us two and told people later. It was the right thing to do for us but probably not for everyone. For me getting married felt very private and intimate and it needed to be just us as we are and not about putting on a show for everyone else. But you need to agree as a couple how you want your wedding to be.

We had our wedding in a registry office with two close friends and then went out for a lovely meal in a posh hotel close by. That was 30 years ago and 2 children and 2 grandchildren later. It's your life thereafter that matters, not the day!

OP, ever thought about moving to Scotland and becoming a celebrant?! You could venture off to different places and how lovely would it be to support a couple in their marriage. Go on set it up ;-)

Good luck with what ever you decide to do and good on ye!

My husband and I got married this summer in a beautiful little cottage in Wales. You can book the cottage for a little holiday, but it also has a licence for weddings so you can just get married in the living room on one day of your holiday. They said they had a couple who got married in their pj’s sitting at the kitchen table. Our wedding was just wonderful, just the two of us and our dog was bridesmaid and I totally recommend it. If you google runaway weddings and Pembrokeshire I am sure you will find it.

Go for a short ceremony, just you and witnesses (or small number of family and friends if they’re reliable), and have lunch at a nice pub somewhere.
Then, book a hotel with a comfy bed and room service, get the pyjamas on and relax!!

We had a simple register office ceremony. We invited our parents, but nobody else. We didn't have a photographer at the register office, but we met her on the way there at a location that was meaningful to us, for photos without bystanders. Went for lunch afterwards with parents. I bought a nice dress because it was a good excuse but it wasn't in the least wedding-y, and the registrar was very good about respecting my request not to refer to me as the "bride" :-) The ceremony was simple but we were able to include our own vows, which for us was the important bit.

All other things being equal I'd have travelled to Scotland, where my mum is from originally, and been married by a humanist celebrant. But DH's father wasn't well enough to travel and DH wanted his father to be there so English registry office had to do. Go to Scotland to get married, OP!

That sounds lovely Rockster. You've reminded me there's a holiday cottage in Devon which is licensed for weddings too. We looked into that option but wouldn't have worked for FIL. But might be good for the pyjama wedding, OP? I'll see if I can find a link.