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Original poster

Can’t I just get married in my house, in my pyjamas?!

70 replies

POPholditdown · 07/09/2018 00:07

I know I can’t really, sadlySad.. What is the easiest way to get married in the UK these days?

Me and OH don’t want a party, or any ‘event’ really. My worst nightmare is being the centre of attention for a day, or ever. My family is a bit of a nightmare and the world will definitely imlode if they’re all in the same room at the same time. And tbh, I’m just a bit lazy, socially. Luckily my OH also doesn’t want a fuss, we just want to be married, without all of the bits that go with it.

Plus, he has unpredictabile abdo pain and I get regular migraines and very bad tinnitus so if they both hit us on the day, a wedding would be the last thing we need!

I guess it’ll just be just us at registry office, but do they treat it wedding-y? Or do you just go in, sign and be on your way?

Has anyone done this? What was it like?

OP posts:
Jaimx86 · 07/09/2018 07:34

I was the same as you, Op - wanted zero attention from anyone as I would have been flustered.

We got married when in New York. We had to collect a numbered ticket (like at a supermarket counter Grin ) and wait our turn. We were in and out in 20 minutes but it was wonderful to be surrounded by so many other like minded couples that were completely in love. We went straight to Brooklyn for a slice of pizza after Smile No regrets about a low key wedding at all.

EvilRingahBitch · 07/09/2018 07:45

You can get your house licensed as a wedding venue, but since it takes quite a lot of time, money and paperwork, and you’d need to open it to the public and then make it available for other people to get married in in future it’s probably not the no-stress option you’re looking for.
www.gov.uk/approval-of-premises-for-civil-marriage-or-civil-partnership
Registry office at 10am on a Tuesday, you’ll be grand.

YaelMarielle · 07/09/2018 07:57

You could have the photographer come to your house after the registry wedding?

It obviously depends on where you live but a photo on your porch or garden might be nice.

Or you could meet him in an other spot you and your DP like
If jt's a bit secluded and if it's just you and your DP? You probably wouldn't get any "whoo-hoos"...

I'm not saying you need to take photos but it sounds like you'd really enjoy that but simply fear the associated fuss.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Weddings
kaytee87 · 07/09/2018 07:58

You can married in your house in your pjs in Scotland

Babdoc · 07/09/2018 08:06

Yup, DH and I had a 10 minute registry office wedding, just us and two witnesses. No flowers, rings, photos, dress or other crap, and straight back to work. We hid the certificate and pretended it never happened- he was a hippy and I’m a feminist! We only married as we needed the tax rebate money. (DH had written off our car and we couldn’t afford a replacement!).
Not sure about pyjamas, but you could ask if they mind?!

NerdyBird · 07/09/2018 08:20

When we got married rings and music were optional. We were given a choice of 3 versions of the vows, at least one was very simple. You can wear what you want.
You do have to book in advance and do all the identity stuff and answer questions to make sure you're not dodgy. The registry office where we are is not on a main road so passersby aren't really an option for witnesses, and to be sure of having some it would be a good idea to get professional ones. Ours had an area at the back where you could do photos, so you could ask about that too, even if it's just a couple of snaps on your phones. You can easily do a very simple wedding.

venusandmars · 07/09/2018 08:38

So much easier in Scotland where you can get married anywhere. I'm a legal celebrant and I've married people in their holiday apartment, the garden of a holiday cottage, by a remote river, in their own home, in their friends' summer-house.....

Original poster
POPholditdown · 07/09/2018 08:39

How lovely to hear of so many others who have done the same thing! I won’t feel as odd now. And actually a tad more excited about getting married. Our ‘proposal’ was as bland as I want the ceremony to be, it was just thrown into conversation infront of the teleGrin but we’ve not done anything about it as we were stuck on the ‘how’.

I love the idea of a ticket number wedding (and getting our house licensed to marry in our front room😂 anything to avoid getting changed out of my joggers).

Thanks everyone, has definitely brightened it all up for me!

OP posts:
Original poster
POPholditdown · 07/09/2018 08:47

I’ve been hinting to OH that a move to Scotland would be good, this is just another thing to put on the ‘pro’ list. I’m sure I’ll wear him down eventually!

Photos probably won’t be the worst thing, though we do take some very awkward looking photos. I’ve always has chubby cheeks so when I smile I look like a pumpkinBlush

Also babdoc I love the reason you got married!

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 07/09/2018 08:49

I’ve always has chubby cheeks so when I smile I look like a pumpkin

Get married in costume on Halloween then 😂

SneakyGremlins · 07/09/2018 08:53

I wonder if you're in my town? Taxi rank outside the registry place thing, a couple pubs very close by..

I've got the exact same plan as you for me! Planning to just tell everyone after.

Bibstersgirl · 07/09/2018 08:57

If my chap and I eventually decide it’s for us, we’ll be the same. Just us, my kid and a couple of closest pals. Think I’d like a nice dress though, not a wedding dress but just something different that I’d feel a bit tasty in Grin

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 07/09/2018 08:57

If the Registry office is somewhere with a fairly "public" entrance,, and you emerge holding hands and a bunch of flowers, you will get the passers-by Wha-heys.
But people also go to register births and deaths, so most people emerging haven't just got married.
If you don't act Just Married, no one will know

Original poster
POPholditdown · 07/09/2018 08:59

SoupDragon 😂 ooh a theme wedding.

OP posts:
Original poster
POPholditdown · 07/09/2018 09:00

Begins with D SneakyGremlins?

OP posts:
adaline · 07/09/2018 09:02

We're having a registry office ceremony in 11 days! Just us and our parents, then out for afternoon tea afterwards!

Perfect for us. Neither of us wants lots of fuss or a big party.

SneakyGremlins · 07/09/2018 09:03

Nope, B! Shame.

Was going to offer to be a witness in my snazzy M+S pajamas Grin

Collywobbles1984 · 07/09/2018 09:11

My husband and I took ourselves off for a week to Cornwall, a few family members turned up mid-week, and we got married (in jeans) in a registry office. All done and dusted within half an hour, and cost us around £1000, including the price of the holiday!

Littlechocola · 07/09/2018 09:17

I love the idea of a pj wedding.

sashh · 07/09/2018 09:20

I love the idea of a ticket number wedding (and getting our house licensed to marry in our front room😂 anything to avoid getting changed out of my joggers).

If you register your home it is only one room, so pic the smallest you can fir a couple, a registrar and 2 witnesses in. It might involve the witnesses standing in the bath.

The only other people who would want that type of wedding probably won't care if there is a used towel on the floor and the bath is still wet, and you could accommodate them surely.

Sounds like a holiday in Scotland would be good

venusandmars

How long do you have to be resident in Scotland? Is it a week?

I'm getting excited now, this is the kind of wedding I would love. Turn up to a holiday cottage for a week or two, day of leaving you pack the car, venus turns up with a couple of friends as witnesses (or a couple of MNers) you get married then drive home.

Am I the only one thinking about the vicar of Dibly?

inquiquotiokixul · 07/09/2018 09:23

I’m hoping we can just look like passersby and go unnoticed.

You'll be fine if you are just in normal clothes. People will assume you are either guests at a different wedding or that you are at the registry office for a different reason (it's the same building for registering births and deaths) so long as you don't look too blissfully happy and radiant.

LadyOfTheCanyon · 07/09/2018 09:26

I wasn't suggesting you get your house licensed Hmmbut rather you get the legal bit done on an in-and-out basis and then get a celebrant to do a non legally binding service at home with you.

numptynuts · 07/09/2018 09:28

We eloped. Was absolutely fantastic! Us and the dog as best man 😁

Whitelisbon · 07/09/2018 09:34

We did it. Registry office with our 2 best friends as witnesses, and took the kids.
Pub lunch afterwards.
Cost less than £500, including the rings, new clothes for the kids, and lunch for us all.
Told everyone afterwards. A few friends couldn't understand why I didn't want to be a "princess for a day", but no-one else was bothered.
It was perfect for us!

kaytee87 · 07/09/2018 09:54

How long do you have to be resident in Scotland? Is it a week?

You'd have to lodge your notice of marriage, it usually takes 3 weeks to get your license I think.