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Original poster

What do you think makes kids popular in secondary school ?

71 replies

LardLizard · 05/09/2018 16:19

Is it all to do with looks and what they have ?

And why do some popular kids have to act quite snobby towards others

OP posts:

Miladymilord · 05/09/2018 16:22

My dd is popular. She has a good sense of humour, is sporty. She's fairly clever. She's not bitchy, well, not to my knowledge. Teachers like her. She's not the prettiest but she's very comfortable in her own skin.

Original poster

LardLizard · 05/09/2018 16:23

But how do you know that if your not there ?

OP posts:

Miladymilord · 05/09/2018 16:24

I don't! She's not bitchy at home, she isn't a fusser, she doesn't take things to heart, she's resilient. She seems extremely popular for some reason.

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nancy75 · 05/09/2018 16:26

In my dds School the popular kids are the ones with their skirts rolled up so much that you can see their knickers, they have fake Louis Vuitton handbags, eyebrows bigger than youve ever seen and they are the disruptive/ naughty group in the class. Dd is not friends with them & im very happy about it

Howmanysleepstilchristmas · 05/09/2018 16:26

No idea. From what I remember of my secondary school days it wasn’t the prettiest girls who were popular though.
My dd just started year 7, and amongst her year 6 classmates the most popular girls seemed to be the confident, squealing, shrieking girls: quieter girls were always on the edges of things.
Ds is year 8. The boys he describes as most popular seem to be those who are less child like, more “mature” (not in a sensible way!) in their interests.

Didiusfalco · 05/09/2018 16:28

If I remember rightly from school, I think being sporty helps.

MyDoctor · 05/09/2018 16:28

I guess having lots of followers or likes on Instagram/Snapchat etc, which essentially boils down to how attractive you are

Miladymilord · 05/09/2018 16:30

Wow.

I think the fact that I don't slag off 13 year olds to her helps. She's broad minded and accepting.

Original poster

LardLizard · 05/09/2018 16:30

I ment how do you know she’s popular ?! Not bitchy lol

OP posts:

LtGreggs · 05/09/2018 16:30

From what I see - confident & assertive without being arrogant, and not too "young for age", and OK academically. I don't think they need to be pretty or have lots - but then again, those things could feed in the self-confidence cycle.

SpaceHair · 05/09/2018 16:31

Being confident and outgoing is the biggest deciding factor.
The kids who happily talk to everyone are going to be the one's who make the most friends.

People who are sneering at how teenage girls dress really need to sort out their own issues.

delphguelph · 05/09/2018 16:33

Confidence and good looks help.
As does having all the right stuff, Kickers, Benson and hedges in your blazer pocket etc

m0therofdragons · 05/09/2018 16:33

I'm only at primary stage but I have 3 dc. While I'd describe dd1 and dd2 as "well-liked", dd3 is popular. All the other dc follow her and it's effortless for her. It's not all on looks as dd2 is dd3's identical twin! There's just something about her that makes people want to be with her. The flip side is she hates ever being on her own.

politicalcorrectnessisgreat · 05/09/2018 16:34

Confidence.

Miladymilord · 05/09/2018 16:35

Ha! I know she's popular because when I drop her off loads of girls and boys call her name and run to be with her. She always has a friend. She gets invited out a lot. Ironically she often prefers to stay at home!

rainingcatsanddog · 05/09/2018 16:36

What do you mean by popular?

My dd isn't a Queen Bee Regina George type who everyone trips over themselves to impress but has a group of friends who invite her to social events. I've seen them as a group from afar and they seem happy together. They have long Snapchat streaks, multiple group chats and eat lunch as a group.

Maverick66 · 05/09/2018 16:36

Definitely helps to be slim and confident.
Dd was on large side and whilst witty and loyal those attributes were not appreciated.
She was not bitchy and therefore did not 'fit in' she left school with no friends and still has no close friends except her sister.

Miladymilord · 05/09/2018 16:36

My middle dd is the same, it's effortless. My oldest dd really struggled and still doesn't have many close friends, but she's happy most of the time.

CatchEmAll · 05/09/2018 16:37

I think charisma has a lot to do with it. Some people are just naturally a people person or charismatic and well liked.

vitaminC · 05/09/2018 16:40

I think it's self-confidence.

I was never popular at school. I had parents who loved me in their own way, but who put me down constantly. I didn't realise it at the time, but I think I just absorbed a sense of unworthyness or even worthlessness at times.

I went on to marry a man exactly like my parents, so the cycle has continued with my own kids, unfortunately.

I only realised this unhealthy dynamic after my divorce and have since become much more confident and mentally strong. I'm actually pretty popular at work and in my social circles these days. I am trying to pass it on to my daughters, but it's not easy to undo all the negative brainwashing once they get older

SnuggyBuggy · 05/09/2018 16:41

I reckon it's about being the right level of intimidating that people want to be on the right side of you and being a strategic social climber.

At my school being nice or attractive didn't seem to be at all necessary.

StripySocksAndDocs · 05/09/2018 16:42

It'd be interesting to know.

It is often the confident onr thats popular. I do wonder if because they are confident that they don't make any waves about there being people who don't like them, and so any dislike isn't notable. People then like them becausr tbeh are the one that no one dislikes it seems. People dont mention they dont really like them because they are universally liked Then it grows from there.

If that makes any sense.

eggofmantumbi · 05/09/2018 16:42

As a teacher is definitely day the smoking/ too much make up / really loud kids aren't actually popular, it's (generally) the sporty, average looking (if that's a thing) funny, mid-high ability students who seem to be liked by a lot of others.

FabulousTomatoes · 05/09/2018 16:45

Dd2 has (so far) always been popular. It’s because she’s very comfortable in her own skin, and doesn’t take any nonsense from anyone. What you see is what you get. She’s also quite good at sticking up for the underdog as she has an inmate sense of fairness. She’s very tall and striking, and one of the best in the year at sport.

I would be disingenuous though if I didn’t admit some less lovely traits about her:

She allies herself with other ‘go getting’ types, and can be quite disparaging of others . I would say that she has a somewhat political, Machiavellian side when it comes to networking her friendships.
She is a massive flirt, but in a very straightforward manner, and has never had any problems approaching boys. Her popularity with the opposite sex amplifies her all-round popularity.

FabulousTomatoes · 05/09/2018 16:45

Innate not inmate

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