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Original poster

Would you think I was rude if...

70 replies

upsideup · 01/09/2018 21:58

.. you invited my child (5) for dinner and I asked to send him with either his own plate and cutlery to use or a packed lunch box.

Would this be rude/annoying/difficult or make no difference to you?

OP posts:
QOD · 01/09/2018 21:59

Depends on why

KlutzyDraconequus · 01/09/2018 21:59

I'd wonder why, but it'd be no Biggie.

NoelHeadbands · 01/09/2018 21:59

I think context is everything

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Earslaps · 01/09/2018 22:00

A bit weird but not rude. But then kids are weird Grin.

MsJaneAusten · 01/09/2018 22:00

It would depend why - because he has sensory issues, no problem. Because you think my kitchen is a tip, I’d be offended.

imsorryiasked · 01/09/2018 22:00

I'd be curious to know the reason and would be hoping you didn't think my crockery was too dirty to eat off of!
But not rude necessarily, kids have funny hangups

brizzledrizzle · 01/09/2018 22:01

Packed lunch would be fine in the case of allergies, also if he's autistic but if he can't cope with different cutlery would he cope at a friends ?

Earslaps · 01/09/2018 22:01

I'd be annoyed if you expected me to hand it back clean that day though. Everything goes through the dishwasher as and when.

EinsteinsArousedSausagesHCB · 01/09/2018 22:02

I wouldn't mind in the slightest.

notacooldad · 01/09/2018 22:02

I'd chat with you to see if there was anything we needed to know but apart from that I wouldn't be bothered.
I would have a fleeting thought that your child may be in the spectrum and that's why I would chat, to make sure I was aware of any possible triggers thst may upset I would also think that's just what the kid likes.
No big deal.

SofaHunt · 01/09/2018 22:02

Make no difference. I'd even wash it for you and send it back clean!

(I'd be a little worried about extra needs and how to support them if it came to that though)

Thesearmsofmine · 01/09/2018 22:02

It would depend why as others have said.

hamburgers · 01/09/2018 22:03

Unless he has special dietary requirements or other special needs, then I'd be offended that you didn't trust me to cook a nice meal for your child as I would my own.

ErictheGuineaPig · 01/09/2018 22:04

Only rude if you said it was because you wanted to be sure he had clean cutlery/something healthy. If it was because he had some anxiety around food then I wouldn't be bothered at all.

Bluntness100 · 01/09/2018 22:04

No of course not. I'd be curious why but it t wouldn't be an issue.

BlackLambAndGreyFalcon · 01/09/2018 22:06

Is it for religious reasons? No, I wouldn't be offended if you explained the reason why.

thaegumathteth · 01/09/2018 22:06

Depends on the reason

Original poster
upsideup · 01/09/2018 22:07

DS will only eat of plain white china plates, hates anything plastic, coloured or with a pattern on. Also only likes metal cuttlery with black plastic handles, no colours.
I wouldnt expect it to be washed, I would give a plastic bag for it to be taken home dirty in but I know some people will feel they should wash it anyway which I understand is a burden and why I thought a packed lunch box might be better.
He can sometimes be a bit fussy with food but I dont think thats the problem.

OP posts:
Helpmeyouyetti · 01/09/2018 22:07

I wouldn’t mind at all.

Samantha2018 · 01/09/2018 22:07

I'd need you to let me know why! I would automatically be offended!

LinoleumBlownapart · 01/09/2018 22:07

I wouldn't think it was rude, but I'd like a reason why. Even if it's just that he likes his own stuff.

Evidencebased · 01/09/2018 22:07

So visiting DC can eat my food, but only using their own plate and cutlery?
Or eat own food from lunch box?
Have I misunderstood?

I would assume there’s a good reason, but I’m standing here, head on one side with a puzzled expression, Why?

Allergies , religious rules, Asperger, whatever, I’m happy to help, but would find it easier if I understood.

(Plus at this point I start to have a horrible suspicion there’s rumours paround school about the state of my tablewear.....)

Samantha2018 · 01/09/2018 22:08

Ah ok he needs a certain set to eat with, yes that's fine maybe say that when telling the parent. I'd have no problem I'll wash and return it

SheSparkles · 01/09/2018 22:09

I wouldn’t be offended, it isn’t unusual for a child of that age to have idiosyncracies

TheSpottedZebra · 01/09/2018 22:10

I'd probably wonder how well he'd cope with a play date, and perhaps start to worry it'd all be a bit much, Tbh.