Really embarrassed about the state of my house and not sure how to fix it.

[Theromanempire]

Me and DH are not overly house proud but I am so embarrassed about the state of the house, I hate inviting people over 😔

It is clean and tidyish (and with a bit of effort, we can get it really tidy) but it is the decor etc that we can't hide. The carpets are manky, the paintwork is marked, flaking off etc and we have patched bits up but they just look worse. Just really old and very very tired looking both inside and outside (the facias and front door are really bad).

We don't have much money at all so very limited in what we could do, neither of us are great at DIY so would need to pay someone but, as above, cannot do that. It just seems such a big job aswell that it is now so overfacing, I want to cry.

I hate that my DC can't have friends over and that we can't entertain as we would want to but really do not know what to do.

I am so of other people's house that always look so immaculate.

What can we do??

Can you borrow some money? A loan maybe?

Have you got decent floorboards under the carpets?

Your house sounds a bit like mine and it's fairly superficial stuff. I plan to hire a carpet cleaner and paint. Painting is so easy, I am shit at diy, but painting is no problem. Can't you do your front door?

Rug doctor you hire it from supermarkets.

Can you post a pic so we know what's what? Nothing identifiable

Join the Facebook page “DIY on a budget” some fab ideas on there, some of it not so good but you can get so many ideas!

Paintwork can be sorted relatively cheaply with some sandpaper and a lot of elbow grease! Then satinwood over the top - you don’t have to use gloss.

You can buy upvc cleaner relatively cheaply from amazon (or even Tesco I saw had it today) which will bring up front doors and fascias really well.

I totally understand your pain. We’ve just spent 3 years with no lights upstairs due to a damp issue we just couldn’t afford to fix so the only option was to turn the electrics off! We’re only just coming out the other side of it all.

You don’t have to have too many skills to paint a wall, and you will get better. Nobody is born with a emulsion brush in their hand!

I think this is just the reality of having a house, a busy life, DC and not a great deal of money. I bet your DCs friends wouldn't notice or care. If your house is fairly clean and you are welcoming they would be happy to be invited I'm sure. Our house is the same and when I visit friends if I look carefully I can see paint scrapes, old carpet etc but I don't think badly of them or enjoy time there any less.

I’m pretty sure OP could’ve thought of DIY painting and a carpet cleaner herself? Presumably there is some reason why this won’t work ie the walls are in poor condition

OP, your house can't possibly be worse than mine, which regularly makes me cry. We don't even have a functional kitchen sink, and have to wash up in the bath (thanks to school fees). I can't even claim it's clean, as I am working all hours out of the house for the minimum wage. No chance of a loan here, as I am self employed, having given up a proper job and income 20 years ago to become a SAHM (was not expecting to be ancient and divorced).

If any consolation, OP, my DC's friends all want to come here. God only knows why, but they evidently don't mind the mess.

Is there any way you could try a bit of DIY, OP? I have become pretty adept at most things, bar plastering, and never thought I would say that.

No to borrowing money...already too much debt which we are trying to pay off.

No idea about the floorboards. We put laminate flooring in the lounge and hallway about 10 years ago and that still looks good but think there was concrete underneath. It was a new house when we moved in 16 years ago.

I have a fantasy of having enough money to just buy a new house and just walking away from this one and leaving someone else to sort it out!

If the people you would like to invite over are true friends, they really shouldn't care about the state of the house. I know it's easy to say (and I'm in a similar position) but really, they shouldn't. I know I'd never judge a friend (or anyone) so long as it was reasonably clean.

There's only one way to gain DIY skills, and it usually involves a bit of trial and error and a lot of elbow grease.

If 60-something year old DM can manage to sand down and paint her own front door using YouTube tutorials, I'm willing to bet you can too :) She was really proud of herself - both for having achieved it by herself and for having saved a three-figure sum in labour!

The thing is- when you say you at other people’s houses- that’s because it’s cost them a bloody fortune and I say that as someone who has just refurbished a house. There isn’t realky a cheap or easy solution unless of course you are in the trades or are very close to someone who is and they can help

You need to fall in love with diy and be a bit patient

YouTube has some great painting tutorials. Invest in a few good rollers/trays/sandpaper/brushes etc. A few old sheets as covers

Start small. But do a bit of research before starting to get it right.

Also, added bonus is you can leave all the gear out and say'excuse the mess, we have a huge project going on'

Nobody will bat an eyelid then

If it is reasonably clean and tidy dc aren't going to notice and adults won't care. If your carpets are dirty hire rug doctor. Other than that don't stress no one else will.

No, OP. I know you are sort of joking, but don't walk away.

Decorating is ok. Honestly. It's all in the preparation (i.e. sanding, the most boring job on the planet). Paint need not be expensive.

Concrete is shit. Leave your laminate where it is, and don't tamper with it. I removed a concrete floor due to standing water in the sitting room, and it was an expensive business.

Most diy is much easier than you think. Watch some YouTube videos and post on your local Facebook groups for stuff people might be getting rid of like paint/wallpaper/tiles. There will be stuff you can do cheaply yourselves.

If it was a new build 16 years ago it must be in pretty good condition generally so painting should spruce it up fine. Kids definitely don’t care about scuffs, tatty carpet etc as long as there’s toys and a bit of grub so invite the dc’s friends over without a second thought. You can always offer to drop them home after if you’re really bothered about their parents coming in.

I'd much rather visit a well worn but spotlessly clean house than a newly decorated but dirty one.
As for carpets, if they are very dirty, there's not a lot you can do. Trying to hide the muck can just draw attention to it.
A top trick, when someone's coming round, spray the bugger liberally with Febreze fabric spray, literally just before they come in. It'll smell divine!

Can you try to learn more DIY. Start with painting one room. It is harder than it looks to get it right, but you tube gives lots of advice to make sure your you prepare the walls well, especially if you have peeling paint to get off. But it's not that hard.

Really clean and tidy helps a lot too. Can you afford to get the carpets cleaned? And the windows. Clean windows with light streaming in makes anywhere look nice.

Is the door wooden or plastic?

Honestly - you say you are no good at DIY, but no one is good without lots of practice. Start with one thing. Ask a friend or relative to help you if you are really nervous about it.

Doing it yourself is vastly cheaper than getting anyone in. We just fixed and made look good a leaking wall for about £70, getting someone in would have been £££. Skint person to skint person, you just have to learn and get on with it. You tube helps.

And yes, don't worry about things that are more expensive, like carpet. It's not the end of the world and if you do the best you can with everything else, people won't even notice.

Thanks for the advice - the DIY would be time consuming and we just don't have that much time. I realise that is excuse making but it is true.

I do always offer to drop people off but then when my DC go elsewhere, I have to offer to pick them up to avoid people coming and it starts to get really obvious

Yes I know the house should look ok after 16 years but other than the laminate floor and having a conservatory built, we literally haven't touched anything else since we moved in!

Don’t look at it as a whole house which needs doing.

Pick a room. Then pick one thing. So, paint from B&Q own brand is £12 to cover 30square meters and paints really well. Depending on room size, a couple of those should do the living room. Or get a big tub of white emulsion and just go for a clean, white look. It will take you a day. Job done. You might get away with not painting the skirting, just give it a really good clean.

Then he next month, pick another one thing. Rug doctor hired from Asda or something. Nice, clean carpets.

Just a little at a time. And those jobs will make a huge difference.