Really embarrassed about the state of my house and not sure how to fix it.

[Theromanempire]

Me and DH are not overly house proud but I am so embarrassed about the state of the house, I hate inviting people over 😔

It is clean and tidyish (and with a bit of effort, we can get it really tidy) but it is the decor etc that we can't hide. The carpets are manky, the paintwork is marked, flaking off etc and we have patched bits up but they just look worse. Just really old and very very tired looking both inside and outside (the facias and front door are really bad).

We don't have much money at all so very limited in what we could do, neither of us are great at DIY so would need to pay someone but, as above, cannot do that. It just seems such a big job aswell that it is now so overfacing, I want to cry.

I hate that my DC can't have friends over and that we can't entertain as we would want to but really do not know what to do.

I am so of other people's house that always look so immaculate.

What can we do??

I agree with pp suggesting to start with 1 room.

Personally I would start with my bedroom and then the entrance/hallway.

Breaking it down into manageable projects will make it less daunting.

I visit people not houses; if I want to see a house I'll go to a stately home.

If I like you then I would visit quite happily and probably not even notice the state of your decor. Even if I did notice, I wouldn't care.

You are the reason I'm there.

Take a day off work. Buy brushes and paint basics range or reduced last season colour. Clean walls then Paint a small room. (Buy cheap large plastic sheets to cover firniture) Then repeat with other rooms. It really isn't hard.

I can sympathise OP, we have done nothing to our place since before my DD was born (she's nearly 11). All of our white goods are dying, and everything needs doing. We both work full time with not much spare holiday time, so would need to get people in - don't have money spare tbh. Most of my local friends tend to remortgage and get their houses done up using money from their equity, we're a bit older than they are, and I am very wary of getting more mortgage. One thing I did do was do up the garden, and that is a real boost. Took me a while but I loved it. Just bought the half dead plants from the cheap stand at the garden centre, sowed some see for a new lawn and bought some camping chairs - hey presto - somewhere pretty to sit. Can you do that?
I'm sure if your house is 16 years old it will still look lovely, can you get those scuff erasers? They help, as does soapy washing down of paint work.

You say you want to do something about it but then you say you can't pay someone to do it and you can't do any DIY yourselves therefore writing off all the suggestions you've gotten here. If you aren't prepared to actually do the work then you'll just have to live with it.

If you want to do it then I agree with people here, start small. It won't take much effort to clean the front door for example. You might find that once you start you actually want to keep going

Wilko's own brand paint is really cheap and good quality. B& M bargains do good quality paintbrushes etc really cheaply.
As others have said watch you tube videos, I think you have to make a firm decision about these things like " this weekend we will do the hall/lounge/ dining room"
And stick to it, you will get a great sense of self satisfaction when you have completed any task.

If it's clean and tidy ish then invite people round!!

Life is wayyy too short!

Honestly, no one cares that much about your front door or your skirting boards. And if the house is only 16 years old and has just been loved in rather than repeatedly rented out to multiple people who've all redecorated badly or been left empty for long periods it just can't be that bad.

We moved into a 19 Yr old property that jad a very tired feel and painted everywhere white and it immediately felt better.

You have the same 24/7/365 as everyone else. Most of us are busy. You just have to make the time or accept it how it is.

I’m renovating. I’m doing a lot of it myself - YouTube is amazing and it’s very satisfying learning to do something new.

It does take time, I’ve spent a RIDICULOUS number of hours taking off the doors and removing 60 years of gloss paint off of a cupboard door frame. Your place is a new build, it won’t take much to prep it & repaint.

If you want to, you’ll make the time, if not, stop stressing about it.

Look. O doubt whether your DCs friends will notice, much less care, about the state of your decoration. Your house is only a little older than ours and yes, it probably does look a bit shabby. But stop making excuses. If it bothers you, get the bucket and soap and sponges out. You can buy a huge tub of bogstandard white paint for walls very cheaply. It’s not hard to paint a wall. You’ve lots of good advice here that will help. Go on, if you really want to, you could do this 🙂

How would you feel if your friend refused to invite you round because of the state of their house? Wouldn't you be a bit offended that they thought you so shallow? Stopping your DC having friends round because of the décor is bonkers full stop, and even harder to fathom in a relatively new house.

I think you should paint the living room white. It'll make you feel a whole lot better about your house and give you a bit of pride back. We started painting rooms as students - our landlord paid for the paint and we put the labour in. We had no skill whatsoever, and if we could do it, you can too. It sounds to me like you care enough about your home to clear one weekend to do it. I stick to Dulux or Crown because you can guarantee 2 coats is enough, but there's a lot to be said for trying Once paint in your position.

It's utterly rediculous to not have people over because your house isn't as you'd like it
I just gave away loads of paint on free cycle, there are sales eBay etc. you can borrow sanders step ladders from friends
Friends don't care how cool your house is

Have you tried washing the walls? A house of that age probably has painted walls (rather than wallpaper) so would be easy to wash, and then paint again. It's probably cheaper and quicker than you think, have you priced anything up?

We have a house of a similar age, it's the first time we've had walls even enough to paint and it is a complete bonus! We've previously had older houses with wobbly walls that needed wallpaper to hold them together

If the house is tidy I doubt anyone is looking at the paintwork tbh.

Painting makes a huge difference. It doesn't have to be fancy and expensive. A decent white or grey, all walls, while house and the jobs done. The carpets and hinges don't stand out as much if he rooms look bright and fresh. And most people don't care. If it's clean, thats where most people's care factor ends.

Do one room a month. Paint it yourselves. Job done in six months

If you are not keen on decorating I would advise swerving away from white walls. However everywhere is correct, just get on and paint the place. One wall at a time if necessary. Start with the front door.

Stick to the same white for all ceilings, an off white eggshell for all woodwork and a neutral palate for the walls. You can certainly have some colour but consider the surrounding rooms to ensure they flow.

Just make a plan between you and stick to it. A house ( assuming you own it?) is your biggest ever investment so keeping it in good condition makes sense, no?

For the carpets try breadsoda and salt. Brush it in with a sweeping brush, leave for few hours and vacuum. It really brightens them up. Also lots of recipes for cheap easy carpet stain removal on internet using basic things from around the house like cornflour, vinegar, shaving foam etc.
If that doesn't work sign up to freecycle and look out for or put up wanted ad for carpet/flooring and paint. Also if there is a recycling centre near you they may allow you to look through paint thats going for recycling. I've done that for a community project and got everything I needed. I think professional decorators must just recycle the paint from each job even if there's only a tiny bit gone.
In term of tackling it say to yourself you're going to do 10 min and once you start that can turn into a half hour and you'll be delighted to make a little progress. Im a big fan of magic eraser sponges and white non scratch scourers with cif for cleaning walls/doors/paintwork.
Best of luck OP. you can do it!

B&Q have a sale on some colours at £6 a pot. Brushes from the £1 shop buy a cheap roller and a few plastic sheets

This week I have painted DS room one wall a day - each taking about half an hour - brush wrapped in cling film for the next day so it doesn't dry out.

Moved bed - painted - moved bed back
Moved desk - painted moved desk back

It's down much easier than stripping the room and putting it all back together.

Just a freshen up of colours makes the room look at lot cleaner

Get a decent paint and it's really hard to screw up painting. Check freecycle for free or cheap stuff ( we just got a huge, squishy L. Sofa for £75!)

It honestly doesn't take long to paint a room! Just don't be too ambitious. I'm a terrible painter but I get there in the end. Sand off the flaking paint before you paint over it. If you go for white paint you don't have to be careful with edges.

You need to sit down & plan it all out, so you don't feel overwhelmed.
Step 1: plan/research
Go on YouTube, Pinterest & other sites for ideas on what you want in terms of look/colour schemes etc. Also for advice on how to decorate & diy. Write it all down, with timescales & budget how much you can spend. Wilkinson do decent paint, rollers etc for very cheap.
Step 2: Tidy/clear out. A house always looks better when it's tidy, with everything having a place. Bin or give to charity things that you no longer need.
Step 3: Clean. Cleaning products don't cost much, especially if u use the old school vinegar/bicarbonate soda type stuff. Again research online. Plan your cleaning & break it down in to stages, so as to not overwhelm yourself. Once your house is really clean & tidy you'll feel a lot better. I find that when I've had a good clean I feel so much calmer & able to enjoy being at home more. As others have said, if your home is clean/tidy ppl won't care about the decor.
Step 3: Decorate. You say that you don't have time, money or skills to decorate. You think you don't but you can find all of those things, if it's really important to you. 5 weeks ago I moved in to a new home which needed a lot (cosmetic wise) doing to it. I work full time, as does my other half (who works quite long hours). We managed to redecorate the entire 2 bed flat in 2 weeks (inc moving) by painting a few walls at a time after work & over the whole weekend. You can get all the advice you need on YouTube on how to do it and get ppl to help, to make it even quicker. We asked friends & family over to help with painting. I put music on, put out drinks/nibbles/lunch at weekend & it ended up being a bit of a painting party you could start with your hallway, when that's done you won't mind other parents dropping kids off.
Then next weekend work on lounge, next weekend kitchen etc. Hire carpet cleaner from local shops. You might find once the carpets are clean they don't need replacing. You could also get some rugs to hide the carpets a bit more & add a nice look.
Step 4: Extra touches. Once you've repainted the walls & cleaned the carpets you can think about other little touches that'll spruce the place up, without costing too much. Look in charity shops for vases, pictures. Places like wilkinsons & Ikea are great for cheap but nice home decor. A pop of colour with some bright cushions, flowers & pictures will really lift the place. Pick flowers/plants from garden/woods/parks (where they're wild obvs, not a local council flower display!). Last autumn I collected pine cones & evergreen foliage. Put it in big glass vases I had from Ikea & it made the house look really autumnal & cosy.
Make ur house smell nice, whether that's with fabreeze, flowers, baking, coffee etc.

All this doesn't really take too much time or money if you plan well. Use the internet for ideas & advice. Break it all down in to stages, so you can cope with it easily. Look at websites like freebay etc which have stuff for free that you can use. Use friends & family for advice & to share the work load.
Most importantly have a positive attitude about it. No one really cares about how someone else's house looks. Do it for yourself. Look at it as a fun project, rather than a chore x