Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Really embarrassed about the state of my house and not sure how to fix it.

70 replies

Theromanempire · 25/08/2018 21:32

Me and DH are not overly house proud but I am so embarrassed about the state of the house, I hate inviting people over 😔

It is clean and tidyish (and with a bit of effort, we can get it really tidy) but it is the decor etc that we can't hide. The carpets are manky, the paintwork is marked, flaking off etc and we have patched bits up but they just look worse. Just really old and very very tired looking both inside and outside (the facias and front door are really bad).

We don't have much money at all so very limited in what we could do, neither of us are great at DIY so would need to pay someone but, as above, cannot do that. It just seems such a big job aswell that it is now so overfacing, I want to cry.

I hate that my DC can't have friends over and that we can't entertain as we would want to but really do not know what to do.

I am so Envy of other people's house that always look so immaculate.

What can we do??

OP posts:
Enervator · 25/08/2018 21:56

Honestly, get on YouTube and watch a few 'how to paint your front door' videos. Make a weekend of it.

Fakeflowersandlemonade · 25/08/2018 21:58

OP my DDs best friend (8) lives in a mansion. It's a total palace. Own ensuite, own play room, cinema room. Guess where she loves coming? My tatty 2 up 2 down terrace with a peeling front door. Kids don't care.

zzzzz · 25/08/2018 21:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Home improvement
ThanksHunkyJesus · 25/08/2018 21:59

If you were really that bothered you'd find time.

Ohyesiam · 25/08/2018 22:00

I feel your pain.
I’ve just started to bite the bullet and get on with it, I’ve done two rooms , one of which I’d been saying for years I couldn’t do as it needed better diy skills than I have. But it looks great.
Make it into manageable chunks, watch some you tube videos, make a list of what you need, and set a date. It’s basically just cleaning with sugar soap, then painting. Sanding is the worst bit and it’s not that bad.
Honestly if I can do it you can,I’m a bit useless.
I’m doing the dreaded bathroom as soon as school holidays are over.

QuoadUltra · 25/08/2018 22:06

Take it in bite sized chunks. Do the hall first - paint it in cheap paint yourself. Just watch the tutorials. Keep the hall clean and you will feel less stressed. Then move to the next space a visitor will see.

I know it is frustrating as my house is an endless project. However, like you I am not prepared to put myself in debt just to impress visitors.

Dollymixture22 · 25/08/2018 22:08

I remover going to friends house when I was a child that was always a work in progress. Her mum always laughed and said we will to that bit next! It was a really happy, busy home and no one seemed to care that some of the walls hadn’t been plastered and we had to climb over the rounds of a half built extension for years.

People live in mansions which are crumbling around them, everyone just has different priorities.

Its all about your attitude. Don’t put your life on hold because of house decor.

Badcat666 · 25/08/2018 22:10

Its going to take time and good old fashioned elbow grease.

Zzzzz has nailed it. Lots of hot water, washing up liquid and scrubby pads and elbow grease and one room at a time.

Even if you do one room over a couple of weekends every month or so that is one room less to do. It doesn't have to cost the earth.

Painting is pretty easy to do and as others have said go to youtube for guidance. Its just the cleaning of walls and woodwork beforehand that can be a bummer.

There are also youtube guides on cleaning carpets with household things. How about getting the kids involved in making rugs or throws from old t shirts/ blankets/ duvet covers etc? Loads of guides out there!

You can either suck it up and get down to it or just live with it.

silverninja · 25/08/2018 22:14

A few years ago a friend of mine was in really dire straits (relocated by police from an extremely violent partner and given emergency housing by council and though she was grateful it really was a pit. None of us had any money to help her but I felt that I couldn't just do nothing so I contacted our local college to ask if any of the students doing Painting & Decorating/Building courses would be interested in doing up the house for the work experience. I didn't tell them anything personal, no one asked, but for 2 months some lovely young people turned up every day and did all sorts of work, supervised and checked, and it all counted toward their qualification so they were happy, my friend was overwhelmed, and I was really pleased that she and her kids eventually had somewhere nice to call home. Not sure if colleges would do that these days but might be worth checking with yours?

keyboardkate · 25/08/2018 22:15

I hate this kind of thing.

If your house is clean, that's all that's required. Other than to say "it's a work in progress! "

Invite people and tell them you are planning to do stuff. If they come back, win win, if they don't, you do not need them in your life.

Take it in easy stages. One room at a time.

Best of luck OP. There is far too much criticism of people's way of life. I blame that fuckery that is FB and of course Pinterest. Step away from both! You're welcome!

silverninja · 25/08/2018 22:18

Forgot to say, that was a really desperate situation and I am not advocating taking advantage of young people! It was a different time in society and people were happy to help each other out.

For what its worth though, I really wouldn't be stressing so much over how your house looks or comparing it to friends' houses. I believe that path only leads to discontent which is hard to get out of, and so easily turns into bitterness - both of which will put people off far more quickly than an untidy house in a bit of disrepair. I think we all have things needing to be done in and to our homes and we just have to pace time and money and availability. If it matters that much, you will sort it somehow. Good luck to you anyway.

Desmondo2016 · 25/08/2018 22:19

Houses are like our appearances. We over scrutinise our own and don't notice any of the defects in anyone elses.

useyourimagination · 25/08/2018 22:21

No help on the DIY stuff but honestly? Good friends won't care.

Whatsthisbear · 25/08/2018 22:21

Why can’t DC have friends over? Kids really don’t care about the state of a house. I do totally understand, we moved into our very old, dated house 2 years ago. We are still living with 80’s stencils in the living room. Peeling wallpaper in the hall an old dated kitchen with missing doors and, thanks to a plumbing malfunction, tiles ripped off the bathroom walls. Due to several hospital admissions for DH things haven’t progressed as we had hoped and I was beyond embarrassed when DC started inviting friends but they are still happy to come. They don’t care about our decor or general state of the place. It is clean, warm & welcoming and that’s what counts. Dc friends have a good time and it seems people really don’t judge you as harshly as you judge yourself.

justchangingagain · 25/08/2018 22:21

Thing is a lottery win isn't going to happen is it, so just walking away is not an option.
Either you get some rubber gloves, sponges, soap and elbow grease, or continue to live with it.

Just start by cleaning the front door inside and out and don't say you haven't got time to do that there's you DH and children to help.

silverninja

That's a fab idea.

Orchiddingme · 25/08/2018 22:22

I would start with the front door and only the front door. What needs doing- does it need sanding and repainting? Just cleaning properly?

I'd do that over the next few weeks and nothing else.

This will lift your spirits when you come home.

I get you don't have time but just do 20/30 min on it, sanding or whatever, over and over again and eventually you will have done the front door.

I'd then ask people over. I really don't think anyone will be that interested in the fact stuff is tired/bit manky. Cleanliness is more important, having said that I've been in heaps of homes which are messier and dirtier than my own (which is not that great) and lots of people don't seem to care- don't cut off friends for your kids or yourselves over this issue.

Ginkypig · 25/08/2018 22:24

White paint is your friend.

It's cheap and because you can do walls and ceiling the same colour you don't need to have much skill in matching like you do with colours. White for the skirting boards. It doesn't take ages to paint once you get going.

We just managed to get wood effect Lino (remnant piece) for our hall for 60ish quid including delivery for the hall. It looks really really lovely and was much better quality than I was expecting it to be considering how cheap it was.
If you want the site name let me know!

We put it down ourselves, it took about 3-4 hours total including lifting old carpet cutting Lino to size and lifting, cleaning and and then relaying all the gripper rods.

Duck90 · 25/08/2018 22:28

Your house is only 16 years old. The plaster work should be okay? So apart from time, it is easy to paint (assuming you are physically able to?) .

The front door can’t be too bad either? Are new builds not usually upvc. So a wash should be fine. If it’s wood and needs stripped and taken of its hinges, that would put me off. My partner did that job last year, but not everyone is confident to do that.

Truckingonandon · 25/08/2018 22:30

As long as it's clean, tidy and smells good, no one gives a fig.

Violetroselily · 25/08/2018 22:35

As others have said, get on YouTube. There will be so many videos that can teach you the basics of DIY.

If you can't afford outside help, you simply need to make the time to do it yourselves.

Somerville · 25/08/2018 22:43

I agree with starting small. Clean/sand/paint your front door.
Then choose one room which you are going to make a haven you can be proud of. Make plans to Clean/decorate just that room, and the hallway between there and front door.
You can then use the excuse ‘we’re part-way through a renovation project’ to anyone who has to come into another part of your house, if you feel you need to.

MerlinsScarf · 25/08/2018 22:53

Not everyone is keen but we found Homebase One Coat paint an absolute revelation. It didn't take long to apply and dried in a couple of hours so the rooms weren't out of action for long, which meant we actually got round to the job because we knew we weren't setting ourselves up for an epic task. Really freshened up a few of our more tired-looking rooms, for an afternoon's work on each one.

PurpleArmy · 25/08/2018 22:57

We are in the exact same position. We need to do a huge declutter first and that seems to be taking ages. My DP hates DIY and avoids any job and we can't afford to get professionals in.

Lalliella · 25/08/2018 22:57

People who mind seldom matter.
And people who matter don’t mind.

Good friends don’t care what your house is like. If they judge, they’re no friends at all.

Lalliella · 25/08/2018 22:58

People who mind seldom matter.
And people who matter don’t mind.

Good friends don’t care what your house is like. If they judge, they’re no friends at all.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread