WWYD: text re DD doctors appt which I haven’t made

[RoseELupe]

I had a text around an hr ago reminding me about DD13 doctors appointment next Tuesday. I haven’t made her an appt. I logged onto patient access and she has an appt at 3.20 next Tuesday.

Yesterday she asked me if she could go to her friends next Tuesday as they wanted to go to the cinema. I realise now she was lying because she has a GP appt and doesn’t want me to know.

Would you mention it to her? That I know she’s lying and obviously needs the GP for something? She definitely is NOT pregnant. She’s just had her period last week.

Personally I would forward the text to her and then ignore it and say nothing. That tells her you know about the appointment but respect her privacy and ability to make her own decisions

Due to a combination of DH's shift work and my working away a lot, DS has been making his own medical appointments and going solo since about that age. Usually he mentions it, but sometimes will just go. I didn't realise he had been for the flu jab until the nurse mentioned it to me when I went for mine. He has also been picking up repeat prescriptions for us for some time, although only getting them dispensed since he was 16 because we were not sure if there was an age limit. The only one he's ever been asked for ID for is DH's morphine.

I don't think it is unreasonable to mention the appointment to her, because the text was to remind her of the appointment and if she forgets, whatever it is she is worried about may not be addressed. But I agree with other posters, don't interrogate her but be really casual and tell her you are always there to talk to.

I think this is a breach of her confidentiality- there’s obviously a reason she’s going on her own. I’d have been mortified if that had happened to me

Leave her to it, there's a reason she's not told you. I remember asking my mum to go on the pill because of my heavy periods, she said no so I went on my own! The doctor will talk her through it and help her make the right decision.
If she's having sex and it's for that then at least she's being sensible but I doubt she's having sex at 13

Yeah let's turn a blind eye to 13 year olds potentially having sex eh @MarchingOrders

Now that WOULD be ridiculously lax parenting

Maybe you could say "I had a text reminder for your appointment tomorrow. I just wanted to say that it's fine for you to see the GP by yourself and I'm not going to follow you in or demand information from you. But if there's anything I can help with any time just ask".

Quangot I think you are exactly right

@quangot I just asked her! That sounded just perfect. It turns out she has really bad thrush! She didn’t know what it was and googled and decided she needed a GP appt . I’ve told her she can use an over the counter pessary and also checked how long she’s leaving her tampons in for!

She’s going to keep her appt in case it doesn’t clear up!

Thanks all

Well done you and well done her. Independent little thing!

I would talk to her about it. I would be clear that I have absolutely no problem with her seeing the GP on her own, that I am happy to talk about anything if she wants to share but that it is fine if she doesn't want to talk to me, but that it is not ok to lie about where she is going.

To me, lying about where she is going is a safety issue. Going to the GP should be fine (as long as the GP is sensible!).

Suggest the tablet, much better than a pessary :)

Glad it worked out well

I would say you received the text and I'm future you would prefer her to tell the truth for safety reasons. I would explain that the GP is a safe environment and that if she wants to discuss anything with you she can

Wow what a mature and responsible 13 year old daughter you have, you should be proud of her taking such good care of her health. It bodes well for her future.