So embarrassed - too fat for Alton towers

[Anchovies12]

So we booked a couple of days at alton towers with our 3dcs and the first ride I tried to go on (galactica) the overhead restraint wouldn't lock into place and to my absolute horror I had to leave the ride in front of everyone.

Clearly got no one to blame other than myself but a combination of teaching full time, taking venlafaxine for depression and attempting to "stop dieting" has meant a horrendous diet, zero exercise and a weight gain of about 5 stone.

What do I do? I don't want to diet as I am convinced that the diet/binge cycle is not good for me - the minute I feel deprived in any way I feel sorry for myself and can only think about the scales and eating. Yet there is no way I can exercise enough to compensate for what i eat.

Am sat here on my own in alton towers feeling pretty hideous. Haven't let on to my dh/dcs how bad I feel, have just waved them onto every ride while inside I am dying of shame

Hugs to you. Every positive change is a little victory, every food swap you decide to make, every time you decide to be more active and walk a few yards further than before.

I am also overweight and feel incredibly sad for you. What a horrible day for you, I can only imagine how you must be feeling.

I am also on Venlafaxine and pregabalin. Had no idea that venlafaxine was so bad for weight gain but I have put on so much weight over the last four years. I have had two spinal surgeries, my mobility is shit and the only exercise I can really do with little pain is sea swimming. I don't overeat and don't eat crap very often.

I hope you find your way. I don't think diets are a great idea either. They imply a period of time to lose weight and then go back to your previous way of living. I do think a gradual cutting down of your meal portions is a better idea and don't just start starving yourself or you'll end up putting on more weight.

I hope your family are supportive and you have a lovely evening with them.

Have a go at Slimming World, OP.

It's easy and it works!

Lots of online support both on here and on Facebook as well as classes and SW website and app.

It's not a "diet". It re- educates you to eat healthily.

Op for you that's a horrible thing to happen.

I totally get where you're coming from- am also a teacher, overweight and take venlafaxine, as well as mirtazapine, which also causes weight gain.

The good news is you can lose weight without changing your medication- I've lost 3.5 stone since Easter following SlimmingWorld- I think of it as a lifestyle change, not a diet. I also have similar feelings of denial.

Do you have a friend or family member you could talk to? I have a SW buddy and have told her stuff about my (very dysfunctional) eating that I've never told anyone else and it's really helping- for me much better than going to a group.

You can do it- do PM me if you want to chat and if I can help/support you at all I will do.

Depression and healthy eating don’t really mix do they? Low mood will have you reaching for chocolate, carbs and general crap foods which then causes your mood to drop again - a viscous spiral.

First step really is to go back to your psychiatrist and ask for a review of meds to see if there is something else they can px.

Then I would recommend join a club such as slimming world as it is all about healthy eating rather than strict dieting. The group setting would give you the emotional support as well as the encouragement to stick to it. I lost 3 stone with SW and have known others in my group lose 8-10 stone.

These 2 combined will help you to reassess your relationship with food and could also help your depression too as you will feel better by eating better and looking/feeling better within. Obviously it will not cure it but will help.

OP, you sound overwhelmed. I think you need help to change the way you feel about food. You sound like an emotional eater so I think rather than any diet club you need to work on what’s going on inside.

There’s so much advice on here: join Slimmng World, look at Rebel Fit, do a VLC diet or track with My Fitness Pal. It’s overload and I think you need to figure out your relationship with food before you can think about how to lose weight. Doctors now give patients access to 2 weeks of slimming World but I don’t think you need this (or any diet) yet.

I’d go to the docs and see if they can arrange for you to have some kind of talking therapy to help you identify what is going on and figure out a way forward. It may be they can’t get you much help on the NHS and you may have to fund your own CBT/counselling/hypnotherapy but I’d say that’s a route worth following.

Be kind to yourself, OP. You have had horrible experience and I think it’s probably knocked your confidence. Remember; your worth is not measured by your clothes size so try not to link the two. Good luck!

I agree with pp on slimming world. You can take it one step at a time and you can concentrate on eating the right foods and then think about portion sizes, it really does work and you don’t feel like you’re missing out. Once you start to lose the weight, it’ll give you the motivation to carry on.
Good luck op, It sucks being overweight and getting stuck in the rut of wanting to lose weight but not knowing where to start. You can do it!!

venlaflaxine made me eat loads, I was getting up in the night and raiding the fridge, I was only in it for a couple months because the weight gain made me feel more depressed. I thought no you will find it hard to diet whilst on it, deffently look into changing medication.

For me I can only lose weight if I exercise as well as eating a healthy diet, although I don’t stick to a strict diet (still have the odd take away and treat), slimming world was a good starting point for me, although I’m didn’t lose much whilst going to classes it made me think more about what I was eating. I stopped going to classes and joined the gym and weight came off pretty quickly.

As others have said it needs to be a lifestyle change. It needs to include exercise for your health but brisk walking excellent to start with then further along the road hopefully you’ll feel like doing other things.

You’ll need to learn how to adjust your eating and your portion size so you’re eating a more appropriate amount for your size and also learn how to accommodate social event as life keeps happening and these will crop up when you’ve lost the weight as well so best to start learning early on, it’s a process.

Turns out a lot of people who aren’t overweight actually work quite hard on staying that way. Sounds stupid but that was a bit of a revelation for me. Your portion size is very likely to be way off so it can be really helpful to spend a week or two weighing things with My Fitness Pal to get an idea. I personally find Nutracheck very helpful as it gives a small, medium and large portion for a lot of foods so i’ve learned correct portion sizes.

Asda do sensible sized plates for £1 . I use a cappuccino cup for my fruit and yoghurt, these things do help.

A Fitbit can be very motivating and help you understand your energy needs. Also I like the sleep and heart rate data, gives me goals. I’ve always built in cake etc as if I start feeling too deprived the fuck it button triggers . You can have your cake and eat it just sensible amount and not everything else you want at the same time.

It is doable and I promise you will feel hugely better once you’re doing it and have lost a bit. You’ll need to accept you’ll be doing it the rest of your life as that’s just how it is but it’s worth it and it will become more natural and easier over time . The benefits massively outweigh the downside of doing it.

I think there is a lot of variability in how people respond to different meds (see [https://www.healthline.com/health/antidepressants-that-cause-weight-gain#less-weight-gain here]. I think myself that venlafaxine is not so likely to cause weight gain as some other medications (mirtazapine is an especial culprit).

On the other hand, problems with discontinuation side effects with venlafaxine are really well documented. Some people get discontiuation problems if they even vary the time they take the venlafaxine by a few hours. It is really sensible to speak to your psych therefore before thinking of making any changes.

In addition, venlafaxine is not a first line drug, usually people have tried tried a few others first. Some studies have suggested it is especially effective. Again, if it is working for you, think very carefully about changing it.

People can lose weight if they are depressed because they lose their appetite as one of the bodily symptoms of moderate to severe depression. However, some people comfort eat as a response to feelings of sadness and pain (no judgement here, especially as I know I have done this myself). Recognising the problem is a start.

One good piece of advice is to recognise if you have an increased appetite, and to plan for having healthy palatable snacks in the house so that you are not hungry.

And be kind to yourself. It sounds as though you are someone who gives a lot of care and energy to your family and your pupils. Give some love to yourself as well

You don’t need to feel deprived of food if you carefully examine what types of food you are eating

Your body size tells me you are probably carb intolerant/ insulin resistant and have been over doing the carbs for years

The only way to solve this is restrict your carbohydrate intake and get your body to fuel itself on FAT (via ketones)

What an absolute load of rubbish. OP, you absolutely don't need to go low carb to lose weight! More and more evidence shows that high fat lifestyles are unhealthy and can be dangerous. You may well be insulin resistant, but some random internet stranger cannot diagnose you with this. You need actual medicine to do that.

Pooch - what a lovely kind message - I love the bit about "going through life you've simply taken in more energy than your body needed".

OP - all is not lost with venlafaxine. I'd stashed a week or two so when my psych took me off it I was able to taper more gently than they'd allowed for. I had absolutely no withdrawal problems at all - in fact it was one of the "lightweight" ADs instead which gave me awful brain shivers.

Personally I really recommend keto because the more nutritious stuff you put in your body the better you feel (and kinder towards yourself) and so the cycle continues.

Good luck and I hope this here today is your worst day.

i agree with posters who have said you should focus on your mental/emotional health first.

one thing that has worked for me is giving up sugar, alcohol and caffeine. and i did it because i realised that i was using them as a crutch to get through the day and they were making my stress and anxiety worse and worse which made my bad eating worse and worse in a vicious cycle (e.g. if i just have a bar of chocolate i'll feel better). that's not necessarily true for you but i think it would be worth looking at your diet and consider how much of it is down to appetite and how much of it is other issues like boredom or emotional eating.

if you want to do something without going on a diet, what about trying to "fix" bits at a time - e.g. if you always end up shoving down a packet of crisps while making dinner would a hard boiled egg or a bowl of homemade soup replace that?

you need to be ready to do this though, and if you are on medication for depression be kind to yourself. it's not healthy to be that overweight but there are many, many other things people do that aren't healthy but aren't quite so visible for others to judge!

i'm now about 5-6 stone lighter than i was at my heaviest, and the lightest i've ever been as an adult. i'd still like to lose another stone but this isn't a diet for me, it's a lifestyle change so i'm trying not to get too obsessed with that. my job is still incredibly stressful but as long as i stay away from the sugar i cope - 2 days of "cheating" and i'm ready to kill the world!

just wanted to send you a and thank you for teaching our kids

I hope you can find the time to think what would really make you happier. For me, fresh air and going for a walk is a great start, but obviously you need to find what works for you.

First thing, there’s a great Facebook group called Merlin pass holder sliming group
www.facebook.com/groups/1531330380231948/
If your still at Alton towers tomorrow great page for advice on which rides to avoid and which to avoid.
You’ve lots of great advice above, but for these few days try and have fun with the family 😊

Start small
Cut down on fatty food replace with healthy food . Have say a treat of chocolate occasionally not daily .
Exercise start walking round the block walking kids to school .
Learn how to make favourite recepies like a takeaway curry can be made low fat you don’t have to give up the thinks you like .
Also only eat when hungry don’t snack on rubbish because your bored. It’s small changes that make a difference.
Good luck .

I have taken venkafaxine in the past. Huge weight gain with it
5 stone easily
Couldn’t stay pregnant on it. Couldn’t lose weight on it
Dose needed tapering in order to come off it over a couple of years due to the dreaded brain shakes. One-off it the weight came off too!

Keto. Seriously. Just lost 20lbs in 2 months on very low carb. Research and do it properly, track your macros, join a fb group. You can do this.

I’m sick of diets, so I get where you are coming from.
I want to lose 10lbs to a stone ...but I want to do it organically.

I don’t eat for 12 hours minimum, so my last meal is by 8 pm and I don’t eat again until 10am earliest. Intermittent fasting it’s called.

I’ve cut a lot of chocolate out. I’m gluten and lactose free so it did cut out a lot of cake, bread pasta , sugary creamy desserts....but gluten free products have got better and I’ve snacks don them , so must stop it.

I swell up in the heat so the extra weight makes it more uncomfortable

Can you do something similar?
Like pp said make small changes, cut out some things and incorporate a bit more exercise

Exercise alone won’t do it. You do need to combine the two...but it can just be moving more

I don’t get weighed.
I just go by my clothes and they are feeling looser
It’s a marathon not a sprint.

You must be feeling dreadful...but take a phot of yourself and use it to measure how far you’ve come

You maybe should measure vital points and then do it monthly.

I think you can do this.

I swap ordinary potato for sweet potato. I still think it’s important to have some carb because you need it for your energy
Just go little by little otherwise it becomes unsustainable.
You can do it quietly without everyone asking how the diet is going 😡😡😡

Speaking as someone who has taken every antidepressant under the sun (now on two that cause severe weight gain- Venlafaxine is not one of the ones that have this as a major side effect- as a mental health professional I wouldn't advise you change or stop, particularly if you had a hard time last go) and has also been 5 stone overweight, you can definitely lose weight on Ven. The weight gain is caused by the overeating that the drug stimulates if that makes sense.

I found that through dieting I too had a bad relationship with food. However, I now treat food like an addiction. I really do have an addiction to high-carb, high-sugar food. I have to go to weekly meetings or I gain weight, so I weigh at SW but do my own eating plan which is much lower carb than the SW plan. Not very low carb however. I do strictly limit my white carbs and sugar.

After a few years of dithering I have now accepted that I can't lose weight without accountability and structure to keep my emotional addiction at bay, in the same way an alcoholic goes to AA. So I dutifully go to the sodding boring meetings! Lost three stone, two to go.

5 stone weight gain on anti depressant drugs is not uncommon. I managed 6 stone on mirtazipine.
There comes a stage where your chances of losing it by diet (exercise is not really relevant - it will make you healthier but won't lose you much weight unless you take up marathon running.

You need to look at the evidence for diets. Have a look on you tube for Prof. Rachel Batterham . Prof of obesity at UCL. There has been a whole pile of research done by obesity researchers into LONG TERM SUSTAINABLE weight loss for those with BMI over 35. With diet and exercise it's something like 1:450. For those with a BMI over 40 is over 1:750. Of those incredibly rare people who manage it. Over 85% put it all back on and more within 5 yrs. These are sadly the facts. It's not defeatist. Is just the truth. The diet industry is made wealthy by yo-yo dieters. It keeps them going.

Personally I would go and see my GP and ask for a referral to a tier 3 weight management programme. Dietician and Psychologist. It's a six month-twelve month programme. After which , if you decide to you will be offered a gastric bypass or sleeve. (NHS do not do bands these days except in rare cases). This surgery is currently the only long term, scientifically evaluated , proven , effective solution to obesity. It is not a quick fix, nor the easy way out but it will save your life from the long term effects of obesity.

If you have any questions or simply want to know more come and chat with us (we have all been where you are) over on weight loss chat. 'Gastric By Pass in two months'. Good luck !

I've been following a MNer who did an AM A on here, about losing 15 Stones a little while ago. I believe she started after not being able to fit on a ride too.
She has a YouTube channel called Debbie's world. She has lost her weight with SW and there is lots of info about what she eats on her channel.

I take Venlafaxine MR 300mg for depression, Aripiprazole 25mg for schizo affective disorder & keppra 4g for epilepsy every day.

I was referred to an Nhs dietitian by my gp who used a combination of calorie counting & cbt to help me loose weight.

I've already lost 2.5 stone with 1.5 stone to go & I don't see the dietitian now but have stuck to calorie counting.

It's VERY hard. All the meds I'm on mean I'm constantly tired & hungry.
So I eat several times a day with small snacks.
I make sure that everything I eat is very low in sugar & saturated fat.
I stick to 1400 calories on a non work day & 1500 on a work day.
I go to the gym twice to three times a week & do mainly weights with some cardio.
I don't drink alcohol as it stops the meds working!!

So you can lose weight on Venlafaxine, it's just hard work to stay on it & motivated.
I do have occasional treats - basically I have a dessert if I go to a restaurant.

One tip I have is to clear out the crap food from your home & just not buy it but I appreciate that's difficult with a family.

Also put up photos of yourself both fat & thinner as motivation.

If calorie counting definitely isn't for you then try slimming world. My 71 year old uncle with Parkinson's lost weight & improved his mobility with the support of his group. Lots of friends find it works for them too.

Remember weight loss is approx 80% dieting & 20% exercise if that - in fact my uncle couldn't exercise.

Good luck x

I found the Paul McKenna book "I can make you thin" quite helpful. I wasn't particularly overweight but I had a shit relationship with food which involved dieting and bingeing to the point where I didn't lose or gain but was always unhappy. It basically trains you to enjoy food and be mindful. I'm a naturally greedy greedy cow. No one needs a mountain of food, however healthy. Or a sack of crisps or a packet of biscuits. I've done it all but I wasn't enjoying it, I was just shoving it in and enjoying satisfying the urge to eat but not enjoying the food itself it if that makes sense. Sometimes the brain needs rewiring so that you can enjoy food and appreciate food and know when to put the fork down. So mindfullness really. Eat nice food and recognise when your body has had enough.

Try 16:8. Eat within an 8 hour window every day. Allow yourself 1400 calories a day, more at weekends. Just try to focus on eating normally, don't diet.
16:8 cuts out a meal a day so it helps.