For those with older children, what would you have told yourself as a parent of younger children?

[famousfour]

I have a pre schooler and child in year two. A thought inspired by another thread but for those of you with older children is there anything looking back that you wish you had done when your children were young? Could be anything - adopt certain house rules, have certain holidays or activities, save more, spend more, work more, work less. General or specific. Whatever!

Sounds cliche but wish I had taken a zillion more photos and short video clips. Memories to treasure!

Ooo watching as mine are the same age!

Pick your battles. On reflection I think I aimed for perfection too much. They seem to have forgiven me, though!

All learn a second language at home together, a phrase a week etc

I think I'd tell myself that 'it goes on getting better' :) My life was falling apart back then, mostly because of relationship issues associated with the first two years of having two close in age children. I think we did OK with most of the children related stuff, but it would have been incredibly reassuring to know that ds's reception teacher was so right in saying that he'd be just fine as he grew up (she said he'd come into his own at university) and the SENCO was so wrong (she thought he was autistic).

Choose your fellow parent friends wisely . Friendships can be very fickle and there is a certain amount of bitchiness

I did too much for them. I mean things like tidying their rooms and running about after them rather than get them to do it. Now it’s a constant battle with teenagers to get them to pick up their own shit. Ds2 who is 8 is far more capable and able to get himself organised than his older siblings.

Play together and learn new things together. Don't sweat the small stuff and realise they can't do all activities available as you'll always be rushing around!

beat piece of advice I was ever given was to pick ur battles. And that has always helped and trust me when u have a teenager it is just brilliant.

For example. I battle with my son to unload the dishwasher. It’s one of his jobs. And I make him do it. He doesn’t put anything away where it is suooosed to go but I let that slide as he does the dishwasher.

All those things I worried about. Stupid things. Should they have this at that age. Or should they being doing that at this age. All means nothing. They do it eventually.
All the time I laid awake and worried if he was getting enough sleep. Was he too hot or too cold.

Good grief I would go back and slap myself if I could.

Really consider when you say ‘no’. And when you have to, say ‘yes’ 10 times.

I stopped supervising teeth cleaning too early, then found it hard to re-establish

Don't expect the children of your friends to be your childrens friends.
It's the littlest, daftest things that your children remember from when they were little, so don't think "stuff" makes them happy.
Just when you think you're drowning under the weight parenthood can bring, you'll find the energy to keep paddling.

Be silly. Small kids love it. You will all laugh together and they will be more cooperative if you pretend to be different characters etc.

Sometimes you are exhausted and it's OK to put CBeebies on and have a brew.

So interesting thank you. Feel like time is slipping away horribly fast so I need a pause to think about things and reset where necessary!

Talk with them. Set the tone that you can have a 'grown up' but still age appropriate conversation about 'important stuff' and 'grown up' topics. Then it's easier to talk to them later on about the important stuff which might really affect their life.

When you say no, make sure you mean it and follow any threats through e.g take a certain toy or game off them.
They are never too young to learn to tidy up and put things away after themselves.
Dont go down the children's food route.Just give them more or what you are eating (not jalepenos obviously).
make sure you have a good bedtime routine and stick with it.

Give them more or less what you eat, not give them more.

Get a notebook that will last and write every daft funny rediculous thing in it that the kids come out with in it. We’ve got some corkers.
Also stop worrying what other people think of your parenting. And if your gonna be late be late but happy.

Don't rush your children's bedtime. Take time over it, stories, chat and cuddles. Years really do fly by quickly and there will be no more bedtime stories, still cuddles and chats though!

Just try and enjoy it!

Give them chores early, let them learn the value of money.

"Small people, small problems, big people, big problems."

Someone said that to me when DD1 was about 5 and I resented it at the time, because whatever I was worrying about seemed immensely important at the time. But I'm afraid it's true. Try and enjoy the phase when their world is quite small and you are by far the most important thing in it and have the power to make everything better for them.

My teenagers are actually both very lovely, but the worries are definitely more significant.

Yes, wish I’d nipped some food fussiness in the bud when little, hate preparing different foods all the time.
Agree with more clips, easier now with phones. The best ones are when I’ve just asked them questions on film and their funny little answers. The worst ones are nativity plays (they always ff through them)
Books, books, books before they get sucked into technology. More fun stuff that maybe I didn’t like so much (swimming, camping etc)

Such a lovely thread. My DS is 2 so I'm going to take this advice. I do stress alot sometimes about the little things

Food fussiness would be another-id day don’t worry eventually they will get sick of the same two meals.

Mine are 24 and 21.
I would have nagged less.
Don't sweat the small stuff and pick your battles.

There will be a last time you read them a story, a last time they hold your hand in the street, a last time on your knee for a cuddle, but sadly you can't usually remember it, because it happens so gradually. But you can't get those moments back, so enjoy them.