For those with older children, what would you have told yourself as a parent of younger children?

[famousfour]

I have a pre schooler and child in year two. A thought inspired by another thread but for those of you with older children is there anything looking back that you wish you had done when your children were young? Could be anything - adopt certain house rules, have certain holidays or activities, save more, spend more, work more, work less. General or specific. Whatever!

Make the most of every moment together.

Fill your home with love and laughter.

Don’t stress about unimportant things.

I’m going to cry just thinking about these things-

Just enjoy the moments that are everyday things like bath times and stories and pushing on the swings. I would give anything for just a day back in time with my elder two (who are grown up now) as 3 and 6 year old again. Their wee voices and hands in mine.
They’re lovely grown ups- they really are. But when they are little you are their world and they belong to you entirely. As they grow they grow into their own people and successful parenting means we do ourselves out of a job really- giving our kids roots and wings. But the wings are toughest... sniff

Oh @Isadora2007, thats got me

pinkbendy and isadora I’m really going to focus on that. I am really conscious of loving this age. Out of babyhood but nothing too complex yet. Thanks everyone for your comments.

I once worked with a psychotherapist who said parenting is a continual process of loss, as children grow up and away all the time, each step is towards independence. I thought she was being melodramatic at the time but now i have dc i understand! I will try to laugh more tomorrow.

I've always liked this poem on the subject of DC growing up.

All I would say is just remember that although the days (and nights!) are long, the years are short x

Mine are now grown up

The thing that you must remember is that everything that happens or that they do is a phrase

Think of it like a weather season - the things that are worrying you now will pass and the next thing will come along so don't stress about them and realise that in time that phrase will end and the next one will be arriving

The other thing that I really think about the babies, toddlers and children nowadays is that please put your phone down and talk & listen to them sometimes

I know it is tempting to give the babies, toddlers and children electronic devices to get some peace but please also spend time with them when all the family devices are turned off and put away

Or you will look up from your phone and they will be grown up

(I am glad internet wasn't really evolved back in the day only dial up so I spent time with them)

A small tip - put toy boxes in 2 sets of boxes RED & BLUE - then every 2 weeks swap them over

Red box in the loft or garage and they play with blue box for 2 weeks

Then swap them over

So the children get "new" toys every 2 weeks

🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂

spreading that poem is lovely

Don’t feel you have to take them to every —any— family attraction, kids film etc as it’s mostly a waste of money when they are below 7 or 8. They will be just as happy with a trip to the park, the woods or a walk in the countryside.

I would say do look after their diet, get them used to having fruit and veg at every meal and make sure you are eating it as well! I know I won’t be able to control their diet in the teenage years but at least they’ll have had a healthy start.

Interesting how people think getting children to tidy up will turn them into tidy adults. I think it's down to personality more than anything. I have two siblings, none of us were ever told to tidy up. As teenagers, we were responsible for our rooms and after a short messy phase, we all started tidying and cleaning our rooms. We are now all three of us fairly tidy adults, more or less like my mum was.

Heh best, that doesn’t bode well for us. All grandparents are hoarders!

Parent the child that they are not the child that you think they should be or would find easier. You have to try and work out what works with that individual's personality.

This is brilliant... I spent a year trying to get my quiet, sport-hating 7 year old to participate in clubs and activities, making both of us unhappy. Now I've just accepted that he will find his own talents and is perfectly happy playing on his own a lot of the time.

And isadora you've just made me broody after I recently decided that it's best not to have any more DC!!