Omg I will never sleep again!

[FuckyDuzz]

Just lay in bed having a last scroll through my phone and had a little itch on my neck, there was a bit of hair grouped there so I went to move it off and it was something solid
I instinctively grabbed and threw and it actually made a noise as it landed!

After a bit of a silent panic I got up to see what it was and it was a fucking woodlouse!
A mother fucking woodlouse!!
On my neck!! In my bed!! in my hair!!!!

I honestly want to take my skin off

Why!? How!?!

I’m traumatised
I’ll have to set my bed on fire
And my neck
And my hair
😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩

Maybe there's a nest?

Gremlins 😟😟😟😟😟😟
What you mean...in my hair!?!! 🤢

Bed bugs look very similar, and much more likely to be in your bed.

Also not helpful.

Are bed bugs not tiny though?

This is not helping my itching
I’ve been trying to calm down and be sensible but I think I’m going to have to have another shower

Baby ones are. Adult ones are about the same size as a woodlouse. They are darker though.

Oh fuck I hope we haven’t got bed bugs

One ballsy little woodlouse doesn’t seem so bad now

You think that's bad? I felt something crawling up my arm yesterday & it turned out to be one of those enormous spiders There was no point screaming for help but I did as I was home alone. Urgh.

I don't mind woodlice, they are cute. We used to call them baby armadillos when I was a kid. I wouldn't want one in my hair though.

Eurgh Drama I’d have screamed too, cheeky fucker just going for a stroll up your arm

I’ve had a shower I feel much better, my skin has stopped moving and there is definitely nothing in my hair, I scrubbed so hard and had the water so hot it was a little bit painful

Thinking about it more rationally I’m thinking it probably wasn’t in the bed
I’d only been up there not 5 minutes when I felt it and I’d come directly from the couch where our dog sleeps
So me thinks it’s most likely hitched a ride from the garden on our dog then hitched a ride up the stairs on me

Now I don’t know where to put myself though, I don’t want to sleep on either the bed or the couch
😩