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Original poster

Is there someone who can talk to me??

116 replies

WreckTangle111 · 16/08/2018 06:54

Here I am again...in the same place I was a year ago. I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks and am on medication. I have to fly today on a 11 hour flight (with a break) and I haven’t slept all night. I’m crying my eyes out...I have thrown up twice and just a wreck, I have a 4 yo dd who is very excited and I cannot ruin the trip for her. But I just feel like I cannot do this...

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Original poster
WreckTangle111 · 16/08/2018 15:03

Shells yes she is excited but I haven’t mentioned the place to her, just told her it’s a tri so she thinks we are going in the car. I didn’t want to build her hopes and then break them. I am walking around the house just tidying up and just focussing in the task and my breathing.

Dancer I sort of have to book it as my parents live in South Asia. But every year progressively this trip has become unbearable. We are breaking the journey (if I get that far) in Dubai so it’s 7 hrs and then another 4.

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Original poster
WreckTangle111 · 16/08/2018 16:09

Taking my dd for a walk as I had a massive breakdown

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Original poster
WreckTangle111 · 16/08/2018 16:10

I’ve never had a panic attack like this one before

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Original poster
WreckTangle111 · 16/08/2018 16:10

But still taking one step at a time and breathing

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AnnieAnoniMoose · 16/08/2018 16:24

Right.

Pull yourself together!

I have my steel capped boots on and I’m not afraid to use them, to kick you up the bum.

You ARE going on a plane, with your daughter, to visit your parents. Stop acting as though it’s only one option, it’s not. This is what you are going to do. Stop mentally debating the issue.

You are her Mum, you will look after her, you will put her needs first and you will be fine. Because you have to be.

End of.

Then promise yourself that when you get back you will do whatever it takes to sort this out so you don’t put yourself through it again next year.

AnnieAnoniMoose · 16/08/2018 16:30

After a traumatic event I started to get panic attacks. I read quite a lot about them, various ways of coping etc but you know what helped me? One person that said (essentially) ‘It’s JUST a feeling. It CANNOT actually do you any harm. You’re choosing to let it win. It’s a feeling, CHOOSE to stop letting it win’. Acknowledging that the feeling was awful, but couldn’t actually DO anything was quite weird. But helped enormously. You can ‘put it in it’s place’ by saying ‘It’s just a stupid feeling’ and take back the power. (Obviously some people can’t do this and need medication etc and I’m not down playing severe attacks, but if you can at least try it, it might work for you).

Millions and millions of people fly every single day. You WILL be fine 🌷

Original poster
WreckTangle111 · 16/08/2018 16:39

Thank you Annie I think I need a kick up my backside for letting this anxiety take over me. I have tried CBT but it just comes back again...

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Original poster
WreckTangle111 · 16/08/2018 16:40

On a cab to the airport

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Harrykanesrightsock · 16/08/2018 16:43

Tell the ground staff and air stewards. Explain your anxiety. They were lovely with me when I had s panic attack a few years ago.

triwarrior · 16/08/2018 16:45

Acknowledge your anxiety and let us wash over you, rather than trying to control/stop it. Almost as though it’s a contraction, if you see what I mean. Stop trying to fight it, and breather through it. You can do this.

HerculePoirotsGreyCells · 16/08/2018 16:49

I too get really anxious over flying and take things to try an occupy me through the flight. There's been some great tips on the thread. Last time I took a colouring book and shared it with my DD.

Another thing I do is watch the cabin crew's routine. Whether they are getting the drinks trolley and coming through the cabin, getting ready to land and putting things away or whatever. I find it does help. Good luck!

WhereIsBlueRabbit · 16/08/2018 16:57

Good luck! And well done for getting in the cab. That's the first step - you can do this!

A family friend of ours is a pilot for Emirates. His wife, their kids and the grandparents fly with them all the time. He has even flown the plane with his family on it. That is how safe flying is, and that is how confident he is that everything will be ok.

Original poster
WreckTangle111 · 16/08/2018 17:11

Thank you all. Still in the cab.
I will try and talk to the staff and see if they can support me.
Triwarrior yes that’s what I am doing...I just keep repeating that this will pass.
Whereis

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WreckTangle111 · 16/08/2018 18:04

Checked in and in the lounge

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WreckTangle111 · 16/08/2018 18:05

I can’t believe I am actually here...I am answering asl of my daughter questions so that I don’t a tully focus too much on where I am

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ShellsBells76 · 16/08/2018 18:09

You're there because you are strong, you've not let it win mind over matter that's how you beat it, enjoy the lounge and have an amazing trip!

Dancer12345 · 16/08/2018 18:27

Yay well done! You’re doing so well, I often find the buildup is worse and once you’re on the plane you’ll probably find it’s easier than you imagined. So technically, you’re doing the harder bit now! Stay strong, you’re doing fab and just keep focussed on the end result.

triwarrior · 16/08/2018 18:28

You can get through it!

humblesims · 16/08/2018 18:31

Rooting for you and here for a hand hold. Just take one step at a time and one deep breath at a time. You're being very brave and strong. We're all with you. x

Chimchar · 16/08/2018 18:44

Try to break the panic cycle...fear fuels it. Repeat to yourself "don't fuel the fear".

Try and focus on little things around you...read a story to your daughter. Be involved in lots of distractions. Look at a magazine. Go to the shops. Watch the people. Play eye spy.

Get by minute by minute. You will feel great when you've done it.

I have suffered as you do with anxiety and it's just terrible, I know. Things will get better for you.

Sending you big hugs xx

didyouseetheflaresinthesky · 16/08/2018 18:54

Op did you know that a plane can fly safely even with an engine out? Even if all engines failed a plane can glide for a fucking long way. Only 4 flights in the last decade have required gliding. None of them ended badly.

The flight crew take multiple flights in a day. Look how relaxed they are. The chances of anything bad happening are miniscule. You can do it.

Original poster
WreckTangle111 · 16/08/2018 19:06

Thank you all. Still in the lounge..taking off at 19.40
I have chosen a spot where I cannot actually see much of anything. And I am trying to distract myself with my dd.
You are right chimchar I completely lost focus on the small stuff and life became a giant ball of fear...

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SandunesAndRainclouds · 16/08/2018 19:11

Sometimes I find it helps to address my panic attacks as if they’re real life beings.

Tell them that’s enough. The panic is done and over and you’re not listening now. Tell them you’re in control from now on and their opinion doesn’t count.

When the panic starts rising tell it a firm no. Not now. You’re not needed or wanted. I’m not listening.

It can be quite empowering.

MamaBearThius · 16/08/2018 19:28

Flowers Hope you and your daughter have a wonderful time...and that you can leave your anxiety behind!

Original poster
WreckTangle111 · 16/08/2018 19:34

I am inside the flight and I am starting to panic. Trying to keep it at bay by just focusing on my breathing and typing this message

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