If your children are good, non-fussy eaters

[ProgressPenguin]

How did they get that way?

My DC are really fussy, eat a limited range of foods and hate vegetables. Now they’re both well into primary school age I want to
Improve things, and I’m just wondering what the most effective way is

Having witnessed on several occasions siblings of whom one is mega fussy and the other not at all,I think a lot of it is down to luck,not just parenting. I tried to bring my DD (now 35) up not to be fussy,but it didn't work,and she was a bit of a nightmare to feed as a child. She seems to have grown out of it now although she still won't eat Brussels sprouts. Her own DD (nearly 12) on the other hand,had been an absolute joy regarding food,from the moment she was weaned. There are very few things she won't eat,she loves vegetables,and within reason,will try most foods.

I repeat luck
And a tiny bit of flexibilty. If kids genuinely didnt like something no need to eat it.
But not every meal could be your favourite
But mainly luck. Like sleep. Or colic or wind or reading Harry Potter at 6 or any other parenting issue. Mostly if your kids do it, you are bloody lucky!

All down to luck!
My two were great when they were small, but now they’re 9 and 13 they’re a pain in the arse! Both regularly deciding they don’t like stuff they’ve been eating for years. Grrrr

My DC have had fussy stages, but I went for the old-fashioned 'it's good for you' and have a food pyramid on the wall by their dinner table so that they can 'enjoy' checking that I was feeding them properly .

It works for them - even my fussiest DC eat broccoli, carrots and spinach. I think taking a bit of responsibility for being healthy appeals to them.

My 8 year old is a very good eater and always has been. I think it’s down to luck as I was very young when I had him and certainly didn’t consciously try and make him non fussy as I had no idea about parenting. I just always gave him what I had and he ate it. Now, the only food he doesn’t like is bananas but I blend in a smoothie and he will drink. My 5 month old (yes I’m weaning already) seems to be more fussy so far and refuses to open his mouth for a vegetable, he is only willing to eat fruity and sweeter tastes.

I’m lucky that neither of mine are particularly fussy.

Neither are fond of potatoes (in any form including chips ) and neither particularly like mince. However both will eat it, we have at least one meal a week which only one likes, so Saturday was curry (korma for the kids, rogan josh for the adults and one loves it the other isn’t bothered, Sunday was a roast loved by all, Monday sausages and mash loved by but no the other) it’s a choice eat it or go hungry.

Both of mine will eat vegetables all the time, they have preferences but will eat anything I put down. Fruit also.

I don’t make a big deal out of eating, eat it don’t eat it, but I’m very much of the nothing else will be offered.

I can't say DS hasn't been through fussy stages, he often had times when there were only a few things he wanted to eat. But, from about 12, that started to change, and I think that was because I never made a fuss about the things he wouldn't eat; that and eating out at buffets! He spent a lot of time growing up in France and going for 'plat du jour', which often included a buffet as a starter course, he was allowed to try (and leave) whatever he wanted.

He is 16 now, and gastronomically very adventurous - has to try local specialities whenever we travel - still won't eat andouillette though

However, I was an extremely fussy child, and am still quite 'particular' as an adult (though being vegetarian gets me out of most of the foods I disliked as a child), despite my mother trying really hard, and being another foody adventurer, so it may just be luck of the draw I'm afraid.

It's definitely down to luck and stages imvho.

I have 3 kids very close in age,2 are twins. All now teens and all served exactly the same food. The twins were even weaned out of the same bowl and spoon. Everything I cook is homemade with lots of flavours /veg and I'm a very adventurous cook.

The singleton ate anything and everything from day 1. The non identical twins consisted of 1 who was not fussy( not as adventurous as the singleton but not fussy) and the other was a nightmare from the day I weaned him. I never offered anything else and he went to bed hungry many a time refusing to eat what was on his plate.

Now the fussier twin is a lot better but seems to have swapped places with his twin who is now turning his nose up at everything and asks for toast to fill up( he gets a no if he hasn't eaten his meal). He is very skinny,15 and has a high metabolism so it is hard to handle at times.Neither of the twins eat as much veg as Id like. They used to.

I have s fussy one and one that eats anything. It's their personalities as much as anything.

I was very fussy as a child but eat anything now. My sibling ate everything and still does. I'm probably the more anxious of us both and was very particular about food and how it was presented.

Yy to it being another flag to wave to say you’re a great parent if you happen to have a non fussy child

It’s luck and The Way They Are

I have one a bit fussy and one goat

Although interestingly the bit fussy one, now 14, has recently started trying and enjoying fish, which he’d never eat previously

Dd was fussy but eats healthy food like fish, veggies etc. She hates nursery food so school lunch has been a challenge, anything like cottage pie, stew she struggles with.
Ds eats everything and I mean everything. Stole oysters from dh plate at 18 months. Did nothing different I think it’s luck of the draw.

My DS is just turned 2yo and will eat a bowl of shite if I gave it to him

Didn't offer snacks until he gave a proper attempt to eat meals.

Lots of encouragement to try new things and no negative words or actions if he didn't eat something. It was just 'okay leave the broccoli today and we can try it again soon' big smile, swiftly put leftover in dogs dish and returned to my own plate, eventually he took bites and then bites turned to spoonful after spoonful (eventually, not overnight ofc)

Offered loads of different foods in the first year. Things that I wouldn't even usually eat. Lots of eating out (which I do anyway, but appreciate not everyone can/wants to do this). Always ate with him.

Got him involved in the cooking process. Eg stirring food in the pan, helping to 'chop' veg, closing the oven door, wiping the sides down, having a bowl of salad/cheese/other side on the table which he can help himself too, putting plates on the table, pouring drinks from a jug. It's very exciting and they cannot wait to eat what they've been 'playing' with.

I agree that I think it's totally down to sheer luck (just like whether or not your baby will sleep). I found the baby/toddler year incredibly easy because my DS slept really well & ate anything, but I don't think it was down to anything I did. He more or less ate what we ate, just mushed up, I never gave him special baby/children's food. He was/is actually a lot more adventurous about food than I am, loves seafood, mussels, octopus etc that I wouldn't touch. Some baby food seems so bland/tasteless that perhaps it's no surprise that children can't cope with stronger flavours.

Not sure it's much to do with anything. Both of my ds's eat most things. Neither of them like salad. I cooked a variety of meals from weaning and just put it in front of them and never expected them to do anything other than clear their plates.

Baby lead weaning

Extended breastfeeding (baby/child's milk taste changes to reflect what you've eaten.)

Offer refused foods many many times with many many meals (like up to 30 sometimes!)

Always ensure there's something she likes on the plate

Never make an alternative meal

The plate is the portion. If they eat what they like and ask for more it's only forthcoming if they have tried everything first

Ignore refusing behaviour, just "that's ok, leave it there" at most.

No surprises. If there is a dessert then it is on the table with the main meal, this means there's no "holding out just in case".

Allow them to eat savoury, then sweet, then back to savoury. I find that leaving the meal accessible has ensured that my child eats so much more varied a diet and who knew that new potatoes dipped in Greek yoghurt and rolled in spinach was so delicious?!! 😂

Always thank for eating so nicely etc etc at the end of a meal.

All meals at the table with an adult. Even if I'm not having my meal at the time I will sit and have a drink, chat, perhaps have an apple if there's fruit after their meal.

No processed foods... frozen, shop bought and processed foods contain SO much sugar and salt that children will almost always want those intense tastes over anything else. So yes, we occasionally have something shop bought but mostly I batch cook and freeze.

Loose the stress. Children know when you're anxious.

Luck out with a really easy to feed child?! 🤷🏻‍♀️

I do think its luck. My DS used to eat everything and anything, as do we, we often eat together. He used to love curries, prawns, all sorts.

He is 3.5 now and he wont touch meat, or anything with a sauce (except beans / spaghetti hoops) but he LOVES veg. So i just leave him to it, dont offer extras but always make sure theres something on his plate that I know he will eat. I dont know what changed, i am just trying not to make a big deal of it.

I wouldn't worry about it too much my DD and DSDs2&4 were exceptionally fussy eaters now they eat anything pretty much

Fed her lots of different foods. Never did separate childrens meals. Kept putting food on her plate even if it was something she didn't like. Often they eventually change their mind.

Just luck. I did weaning with purees and he happily ate everything. He didn't eat finger food till he was 2 because he has severe sn. He now eats pretty much everything with just a dislike of very claggy textures.

Luck. I did everything 'right'. EBF, BLW, home cooked wide variety of food, cook together, eat as a family.

DD1 likes most foods (not keen on sweet potato or squash) but doesn't really like to eat in the morning and has a fairly small appetite generally. So needs reminding to eat.

DD2. Vegetables she's incredibly fussy about, she will try all meat, likes all carbs and dairy, eats a range of fruit. Does now try all food she's offered. Loves breakfast but eats very little at dinnertime.

DS. Had food allergies when younger and doesn't really like the foods he was allergic to (only dairy he will eat is greek yogurt). Since he grew out of his allergies he has become much fussier. Doesn't eat a lot of meats, eats a limited range of fruit and veg.

I'm playing the long game and assuming they will grow out of their fussiness as they grow up in a foodie household.

It's just luck. I did everything 'right' and enjoyed feeling smug when people told me DS was 'such a good eater'. We did BLW, introduced to different flavours/textures early on and he ate what we ate, including fairly hot curries.

Since he was about 4 he can be very fussy and no longer likes many of the foods he happily ate as a toddler. It's mainly at home he's like this, because his grandparents are surprised when I say he's fussy and will tell me all the varied things he ate when with them. I think it's a control thing rather than actually not liking food - they realise it gets a reaction and there's very little you can do about it! What sometimes works is telling him he won't grow but he is getting old enough to realise it's not strictly true (he is 7 now).

I now laugh at the smugness I once displayed!

I think it's just the way they are. DS1 eats anything except fruit. DS2 eats anything. DD was as fussy as anything as a child but now she's a mum she will eat most veg , fish and meat but not fruit.

Recently we had a family get together and my 2 youngest grandsons , just 2 months apart, affected each others eating & drinking habits. DGS4 wouldn't eat tomatoes until he say DGS3 insisted on drinking from a bottle until he saw DGS4 using a sippy cup.

I distinctly remember my mum battling to get me to eat vegetables for ages... but since I liked them raw, just not "squishy", she eventually gave up, and when we had carrots, spinach, green beans etc, there'd be a big dish of cooked ones on the table, and a little bowl of raw ones for me...

I think its mostly luck too but I was a super fussy eater as a child and I still am. I am doing my best to try and make sure they dont turn out like me :). I make a point that the kids have to at least try everything on thier plates and they are generally good eaters and eat a good varity of foods the love all sorts of veg but I cant get them to eat more fruit berries with my oldest yes but very little fruit with my youngest.

Two fussy ones here so feel your pain. 8 yr old is fussy in that she won’t eat any sauces or mushy type food but eats loads of salads and veg. She prefers salad to fruit for some reason. Wouldn’t worry about cooked veg as much. Have you tried mini peppers and mini cucumbers as mine love those. Also read a book called war and peas. I did when mine was 4 and made a big difference. Got her eating meat and did make her have school dinners which helped as well. Had to get school to not tell her she had to eat it all as that went against approach taken at home using the war and peas ideas Which you say they don’t have to eat it but no other food until the next snack time or meal etc.