What to do with kids when staying in other peoples boring houses abroad

[Branleuse]

Especially with language barrier.

We have to go and stay with dps mum for possibly up to a week. Its not walking distance from anywhere interesting. There will probably be a lot of time spent just in the house. We will hopefully do a day out at a theme park but what on earth do you do to keep kids occupied. Theyre french. My french is intermediate. I cant do interesting conversations in it and his mum doesnt appear to do interesting conversations full stop.
Im imagining a week of playing on our phones or reading , but then i feel worried we will be judged. Kids will watch a bit of french telly but they dont follow it that well.
Any tips on things we can do in a boring house for a fucking week without their own stuff?

All the sort of stuff we all used to do before smart phones and X-boxes took over the universe!

PLAY!

Build a den in the garden, go out exploring in nearby roads/parks, hide and seek, children's role playing fantasy games (if they actually have any imagination left that has not been atrophied from all the electronic entertainment - do any really young kids play mummies and daddies/doctors and nurses/pirate type games any more? I doubt it!), painting and drawing - you only need a pen and a sheet of paper!, mucking around with the local kids and having those hilarious exchanges that only take place with young children having language barriers, learning local games (as I child I learnt all the names of fruits in French through playing a game with French kids on a mini-cruise),

Get a bunch of those puzzle books that have kids logic problems in and word searches and so on.

oh and reading books is always great for solo entertainment it's not a drudgery thing!

I think "I'm imaginging a week of playing on our phones" is one of the saddest and most pathos filled things I've ever read on here.

A week in a foreign house is an adventure waiting to happen for young kids. If they can't entertain themselves at that age there is a problem.

There are things we can do out of the house if dp will do them. Weve never done them though in all these years. Never been to local pool. Rarely go to local town. Its just fucking dull. I just feel judged if i sit there on my phone or the kids on devices but in reality what else is there to do in someone elses house where you cant even have a proper conversation. Ive tried learning french for so long. I am still only ok on a superficial level. Nothing deep at all. I can barely cope if its not in the present tense. I get stressed by french etiquette expectations i dont fully understand. Im just totally out of my comfort zone.
Oh god, i asked for tips of things to do. Its all coming out now lol.
Ill just have to grin and bear it. Maybe hide away with books

I spent many childhood vacations visiting relatives in Asia. We were responsible for packing our own backpacks with toys and books to amuse ourselves for the vacation. We also rented cartoons from a local store (they only had one cartoon) and watched their entire collection. We played card games with relatives and it helped minimize the language barrier.

Looking back, it could have been a bad time but my siblings and I all have fond memories of those trips.

Glaciermints yeah its depressing but theyre autistic. Some of the imaginative play thing is a bit if a struggle, especially for ds.

It is only as dull as you allow it to be. Can you not take the dc out without dp? Can they manage public transport?

Kids are not looking forward to it but theyre ok once theyre there. Its just enforced duty
Usually dp goes alone but its nice for them to see the kids sometimes and dd will just not go anywhere without me at the moment

I just feel judged if i sit there on my phone or the kids on devices

Well you should. This is really pathetic I'm sorry to say.

There are things we can do out of the house if dp will do them. Weve never done them though in all these years. Never been to local pool. Rarely go to local town. Its just fucking dull

This just says it all. Try taking responsibility for yourself and .... leaving the house. If you are somewhere abroad, where you haven't properly explored the local area that is not "just fucking dull". There are always interesting things in an unexplored place. Sitting at home with your iphone glued to your nose is not the way to find them.

Only boring people are bored.

Why not stay elsewhere and visit the elderly grandparent and other relatives occasionally, but have the rest of the time to yourselves?

You sound like the heart and soul of the party...

I cannot believe you really cannot find anything to do in France for a week when you can drive, take public transport, have internet and can easily google places to go and see, it is Summer and there are neverending things to do outside, France is a country where there are always things open in the evenigs... Honestly, it sounds like you already are in the frame of mind to have a boring holiday, so realistically nothing and noone will make you change.

I feel a bit sorry for your MIL, having you guys there must be excruciating for her.

Yeah thats what i originally wanted to do. Stay somewhere else, but it was looking to be about £600 for the week and everyone said, ohh why dont you stay with your mum. Dp felt bad. So did i. Its a lot of money isnt it. Yes i am quite a boring person in some ways when it comes to thinking up interesting ways to pass the time. In my own house ive got loads of stuff to occupy myself if I want. Im just at a loss when i go there

There must be a bus route to somewhere?

You sound like you’re not even willing to enjoy yourself. V odd.

It sounds as though your other issues with the experience - language barrier, obligations - are clouding your view of this experience. That’s totally understandable, but there’s also another option. You could, with a change of mindset, have quite a different experience. Is there a way you can work through the resentment and resolve to have a nice time? Perhaps in a sheer bloodyminded way, just to spite them all ;)

Eg, when we used to visit rels I absolutely loved browsing French supermarkets. Would this be too much for your dc? Or, I have extremely fond memories of one summer where I spent a day or too lying in a hammock in my grandmothers garden, reading Tintin comics (them or Asterix also good for improving French for dc too). We would sometimes make up a picnic and take it into the garden - admittedly a big draw was that we got to have a bonfire but potentially there’s an option to take picnics to somewhere dull but more scenic locally? It does tend to make things slightly more interesting. Public transport, particularly trains, are quite good fun in another language when viewed from a child’s perspective. If it’s suburbia, think about it as a staycation but with bonus of foreign-ness for interest. I hope you do manage to have an ok time - it seems a bit like you feel like having a bad time to show how much you don’t want to be there? But then the person who loses the most that way is you.

Honestly france is not all holiday places. This is surburbia in the north. Its like a holiday in suburbs of basildon.
I feel sorry for my MIL too tbh. Its duty on both sides. The other option is she doesnt see her grandchildren. Shes not a bad person and neither am I but we are wildly different people and I tried my hardest for so many years but now id rather not even go. I think dp would have a better time without me, but theres no way dd would go without me as shes very clingy lately so dp wanted me to come. Hes not close to his mum either. Theres no easy answer. We just rock up every now and again. Tolerate each other for a few days. She gets to see the children which she likes. Its uncomfortable. We go.
Just dont think we will last the week. Ive packed valium

We are in Spain and I've booked my 7 & 10 yo into local kids summer camp. 9-1. They come home happy and tired, lunch, siesta, then we go to beach or they watch some telly. Working very well.

@reetgood thanks. Yeah i think i need to change my mindset. I go there and just feel so out of place I could cry.
In the last couple of years ive allowed myself to stop forcing myself to pretend its all ok. I can make myself quite ill over it if I let myself. Dp is part of the problem as he thinks if we went out yesterday, why do we need to go out today etc. Id probably be ok if we went out loads. I wont drive in france. Im dyspraxic possibly aspie and the other side of the road thing flummoxes me

The car is a saving grace. You can go anywhere. Take your MIL? I could have a good holiday in Basildon tbh though the car would help a lot.

French supermarkets are brilliant. Fishing? Super popular in France.

I am assuming your dh also has an autism diagnosis, or perhaps anxiety, if he won't leave the house much? I do know how stressful it can be trying to 'holiday' with a partner who is mentally unwell.

I would trust your MIL a bit - let her babysit while you go out for an evening walk with dh? Perhaps a chance to chat about how life could be better?

If you do not want to drive for whatever reasons and public transport is not a good option, then you need to sit down with your DP and make it absolutely clear that he IS going to be driving you and the kids about to places. And that this is an essential condition of your going to visit your in-laws in the first place, and if it does not happen then you are simply not going to go. Google some things to do (there will be something--pools, parks, shopping centers, whatever) and make a list of where you will be going on each day. Find somewhere that is further afield as well, and arrange to stay there overnight in a hotel, just to break the visit up. It doesn't sound like you are skint so one night in a hotel ought to be doable.

I sense that you are resentful about going, but if you go there determined to have a miserable time just to prove a point, all that's doing is cutting off your nose to spite your face.

If you've been doing it for that long, why isn't your French better? You say you've tried, but it doesn't really sound like you've made that much of an effort tbh.

Surely this is a fantastic opportunity for your dc to practise the language, bond with their relatives and learn about the French side of their heritage? If you go in with such a negative attitude, you're bound to have a rubbish time.

BTW, don't think I can't relate. I say all this as someone who has been visiting my DH's tiny foreign village in the middle of nowhere for the last two decades. Nobody speaks English. It can be boring at times. There is no wifi there, no internet and they only just got TV a couple of years ago. There is nowhere to go in the village - no pool, no cinema, no theme parks.

We make our own fun. We practise our language skills and learn how to cook the local cuisine. Occasionally we help out with easy farm tasks. DD messes around with the kids. Sometimes I read, and try to enjoy the slower pace of life. This is DH's home, where he grew up and where all his family live. It's important that dd has a sense of connection with the place.

You have to go anyway, so why not see if you can change your approach and look for the positives in the experience?

If you are going to go swimming remember to take tight fitting trunks for DC or they won't let you in. Decathlon do them for about £3.

I am assuming if DD won't leave OP's side she won't tolerate a foreign summer camp.

Google translate is possibly your friend when it comes to the language barrier, whether with the relatives or when out and about.

When MIL is out maybe let the children play on tablets, and then do things with MIL when she isn't working.

What is DP planning to do whilst you are there?

They need a "project", and I'd look for individual things to take the pressure off everyone needing to play together.

My two that age (including autistic 9 year old) are enjoying those grid logic problems. We've just discovered there's a new generation too eg Hanjie, battleships, tectonic. Thinkfun one player games. Jigsaw puzzles. We've just had a holiday and spent a lot of time doing these things with them. They're not ready for adult crosswords yet but with simpler puzzles relying on logic rather than general knowledge, and with some adult help to start with/when they're stuck, they're fine. My son's also been doing music theory workbooks, but that might just be him :)

Arguably it's not that different to playing on phones really, but it does invite a bit more interaction IMO and seems less rude.

The odd trip to a bakery or swimming pool is a good idea. Geocaching, assuming it's a global thing? Boules/pogo stick/swingball/stilts.

Assuming they have a garden buy some boules, and a pair of pit pat bats too, and have a daily tournament. Pit pat is great for non competitive kids because the challenge is to keep the ball in the air and see how many times you can hit it to each other, so work together . . . . And how about a pair of those plastic stilts - like little buckets upside down, with string handles to hang onto. They are v. light/small so fit into the car easily.

How about if you took a small tent for the garden - would they have fun putting it up/having a sleep out one night? Then during the day they may prefer to hang out in that?

Get some good books, but also some drawing stuff too so that they can leave a picture for Grandma. How about nail varnish/hair paint/face paint/glittery stuff/braids so that you and dd can give each other a make over . . . .

Yy to Battleships! That was my childhood go-to during endless doses of tonsillitis!

(ooh - and take packets of jelly to make jelly, or rice crispies for choc rice crispy cakes/rocky road, as a present for Granny.)

You need to tell DH that you expect to go out every day and do something with the kids

Swimming
Park
Cinema
Anything else on offer - roller blading ice skating etc

You need DH in side - tell him this is your holiday and you won't be sitting in all day