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Original poster

How to tackle FIL's skid marks and shit stains?

52 replies

Immigrantsong · 02/08/2018 18:12

In laws are visiting. FIL has never had any regard to housekeeping tasks and every time he goes to the toilet he leaves skid marks and shit stains everywhere. I told MIL as I had to clean everything and she was embarrassed and very sorry, but not sure if I should say anything to him. We come from cultures where even me talking to my MIL about this was a step too far as we usually don't say a thing to in laws at all. Wwyd?

OP posts:
Justmuddlingalong · 02/08/2018 18:20

I would challenge him about it. Sod cultural behaviour as an excuse for him being a dirty, disrespectful idiot. If he's such a sexist prick that he's happy to leave his filth for you to clean up, I doubt it'll make much difference though. And why isn't your DH saying anything?

StylishMummy · 02/08/2018 18:21

It's disgusting and disrespectful

SilverHairedCat · 02/08/2018 18:21

Ask your husband to deal with his father or deal with the toilet. Not your problem.

Alternatively, leave a message in the bathroom - you know, those perky bloody signs people buy? "If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be sweet and wipe the seat" etc. Bound to be one out there for skid marks.

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Cleaning
livefornaps · 02/08/2018 18:22

Leave a sign up in the bathroom addressed to him saying clean up after yourself you pig (with a picture of a pig).

Shame is the only thing that works

YeTalkShiteHen · 02/08/2018 18:22

Hand him bleach and a cloth every time he emerges from the bathroom. Every time.

Unless I gave birth to you or you have additional needs/a disability I am not cleaning your shit is my standpoint.

livefornaps · 02/08/2018 18:22

But write his name on the sign

Original poster
Immigrantsong · 02/08/2018 18:32

I have spoken to my DH about this and I really don't think he will do anything about it at all. His father never cleans. They live abroad and have a housekeeper and she cleans up after him. My MIL says she is disgusted by his behaviour and knows exactly what he is like. I don't usually mince my words but I also know that my straight talking has caused issues and rifts in the past and things are pretty good now. I am not sure if I can afford to give him a piece of my mind. Signs will not stay on, as pretty sure my MIL will remove them. He is also oblivious to all the water that ends on the floor when he washes his face. He is a well educated, professional man yet an absolute pig with no respect for anyone. I am at a loss.

OP posts:
Anyonewhoknows · 02/08/2018 18:33

Why are you bowing down to his culture by not talking to him directly? Why not say to him "in my culture we leave the toilet as we find it. If you have any problems with that please talk to your son or me and we will be happy to assist in any way we can apart from cleaning up your skid marks for you

YeTalkShiteHen · 02/08/2018 18:34

I have spoken to my DH about this and I really don't think he will do anything about it at all

Then he becomes chief shit scrubber and makes sure you don’t have to!

Original poster
Immigrantsong · 02/08/2018 18:36

@anyonewhoknows we just don't speak like that at all to elders especially in laws. I don't think anyone can understand unless from similar culture. It's just not the done thing at all.

OP posts:
Mumshotel · 02/08/2018 18:37

Burn them

colbyandmontysmum · 02/08/2018 18:37

If you are not allowed to bring it up with your FIL, can't your MIL clean up after him then? Why should you do it?

Mumshotel · 02/08/2018 18:38

Oh i just re read. Dont burn the loo

SilverHairedCat · 02/08/2018 18:38

The yes, it's down to your husband to do the cleaning. Either he puts up (speaks up) or shuts up (and cleans).

CocoaGin70 · 02/08/2018 18:39

I'd never have him back in the house. That's grim.

gamerchick · 02/08/2018 18:39

Why can't your bloke clean up after him or even better your mil if you can't stand up to him?

Original poster
Immigrantsong · 02/08/2018 18:41

Yes my MIL can clean up after him, but she is a mature lady and not at her best physically, so she didn't even see things properly. She said she has been cleaning a bit every day yet the bathroom was a tip. He also broke the toilet seat and the bin. How I don't even know, but he seems to be completely inept at basic hygiene.

OP posts:
Original poster
Immigrantsong · 02/08/2018 18:43

Spoke to DH again. He has agreed to speak to his father. I don't know how he will go about it ,as he usually minces his words but fingers crossed. He is also going to clean up after his shitty dad.

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 02/08/2018 18:43

Just get in extra bleach and use it liberally. It does the trick.

YeTalkShiteHen · 02/08/2018 18:43

Why can’t your husband do it OP? He won’t sort it with his father, so should be the one cleaning it.

Leaving it to you is enormously disrespectful on both your FIL and DHs part.

YeTalkShiteHen · 02/08/2018 18:43

Sorry x post. Good! I’m glad you don’t have to deal with it any longer!

Original poster
Immigrantsong · 02/08/2018 18:44

@singlenotsingle there was seat even at the toilet seat. Can't use bleach there, my daughter uses the same bathroom. I needed to clean it properly for her.

OP posts:
Justmuddlingalong · 02/08/2018 18:46

No. See that's the problem. You do not need to clean it for your daughter. Your FIL needs to clean it.

Original poster
Immigrantsong · 02/08/2018 18:49

@justmuddlingalong I agree yet it's not going to happen. Trying will offend them and not sure it's worth it as we only see them 1-2 times a year.

OP posts:
Anyonewhoknows · 02/08/2018 18:54

Sorry op but assuming your fil is able bodied then bollocks to "not speaking to our elders like that" You don't have to be rude, raging or disrespectful, just matter of fact "please can everyone clean the toilet if it needs cleaning after you have used it"
How on earth did the world move on if nobody ever spoke up?
Either he is struggling - in which case be needs help, or he doesn't give a shit (no pun intended) in which case why on earth would you tolerate that?