My outlaws are from the Asian Subcontinent and are similar (In the cleaning sense, have 'people' at home, he has never cleaned a thing in his life)
In their culture, it's the woman's work to clean or, if they can afford it, they pay a random to clean for them. They've always had people and as such, my MUM has never cleaned her own house. Fine. They're able to afford that and that is what works for them.
I don't have a cleaner and do it all myself.
Last time they visited, it was horrific and probably the worst time of my adult life.
FIL didn't clean
MIL can't clean (physically she's very limited)
Grandmother IL was doubly incontinent and 80+
Yep. It was that bad
GIL also hadn't ever had to clean up after herself either
That's just their culture though
It sounds like that it's a difficult situation as DH would find that conversation difficult too and would rather just deal with the fallout rather than upset his parents, though having lived in the UK for 10+ years now, he does speak to his parents more but still feels like he's almost being disrespectful and admonishing them
Good luck OP, you have my sincere sympathies