DD read my texts!!

[yourpin]

I was out in the garden pulling the washing off the line and my DD decided to pick my phone up and go through my texts.
The texts from my DH were sexts. No rude pics just words and the odd emoji but none at all suitable for a 9 year old.
I've told her off for reading through my phone but what would you do now?

Nothing. What can you do other than put a password on the phone.
She was told off. I'm sure you are mortified but it's done now.

We'll not much you can do now 😂

Apart from put a password on your phone

😂 don't leave your phone lying around again. I wouldn't do anything else. You've told her off.

Dh used to quite happily pass his phone over to our dds if they asked to look at photos apparently and go on apps etc til I pointed out to him that some stuff ie txths between us etc was not for children.
He used to laugh at me and say don't be silly.

I've never let them have my phone as I view it as mine and it has personal stuff on it. We don't have to share absolutley everything with children do we !

Anyway eventually I said I wouldn't be sending him anymore messages etc only calls as I wasn't happy with him letting them nose.
He caught nearly teen dd on his txts one day and realised what I meant

She got a telling off and I asked if it was ok for me to look thru her personal stuff. Soon stopped it

What personal stuff does a preteen have that she wouldn't want you to look through?
Also if she said don't go though any of my personal stuff, at 12, ar e you really going to listen to that?

Nothing. Why is there no password? Even if you have nothing to hide, a password will slow down a person who has stolen your phone or want to use it for nefarious reasons like online banking.

This will be a good lesson for when your dd gets a phone. Friends will want to scroll through her pics or read her texts if her phone was lying around. They could post social media updates pretending to be her, upload embarrassing pics from her phone or wipe it clean so she loses everything.

How bad were the messages? You don't have to answer that but make sure you think through everything to see if she may be freaked out by it. Even though you are probably angry at her and embarrassed she may be worried or upset by what she read and I'd try to keep the lines of communication open if she needs someone to talk it through with - just like you would if she had stumbled across porn on the internet.

Are you worried about DD being upset by the texts?

Can you remember being a pre teen timeisslipping ?

When I was a pre teen there were no mobiles but noted instead,left in school bags or back of jitters about who you fancy in class or which teachers you don't like lol.
Pre teens have the right to a small amount of privacy and I have strict rules regarding online useage etc.
I still think children don't need to know everything about every conversation there parents may have.

I've got three dc and am doing ok so far by teaching them boundaries with other people's belongings. X

Yes but now they do have mobile phones, online gaming and social media. As a parent it is your responsibility to supervise all of these to protect your child from bullying, grooming etc.

Yes thank you timeisslipping for your advice
Like I said in original post there's nothing wrong with adults having separate personal things from their children like there's nothing wrong with children having some privacy of their own to a degree either.

Privacy comes in all forms. I'm guessing your children have closeable doors on their rooms like you do?and you don't all stand in the bathroom together when one of you needs the loo,or a shower?we all need a certain degree of privacy be it on a practical or personal level.
I also helped all of my children to set up their phones social media gaming stuff on the proviso that the passwords stayed what I had set them up as and that if I ever feel something amiss I am abled to check anything I wish to in order to keep them all safe online.

There's also an element of trust where that's concerned and we are all very close and open in our home so I think il stick to my original post and stand by what I said regarding adults can have their own things and personal space just like the children can.
It's not about the content on an adult phone to me but more about a boundary.

Just to say aswel timeisslipping he's it is our job as parents to keep our children safe.
But is also our job as parents to teach them boundaries and privacy and that not everything is available for them