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Original poster

WWYD Nursery are trying to dictate home life!

58 replies

missingdiamond · 04/04/2018 13:33

We are having a terrible time with DD's nursery who keep coming up with demands for how we live our life! For example, they are insisting that DD refers to me as "mummy" or "mum" and not the nickname she has for me???? They have also informed me that I give her "too much choice" (I ask her whether she wants to stay for lunch for example) and that I have to start cooking "school food" at lunchtime when she is at home so she gets used to eating a hot meal in the middle of the day.

It's a private nursery attached to a school. We have already decided that DD won't be going t the school because of this pressure.

This is rather OTT isn't it?

OP posts:
Callamia · 04/04/2018 13:36

Sounds grim. Ask them how being ‘child-led’ works for them.

Quietlife1979 · 04/04/2018 13:38

That’s ridiculous. Your paying them for a service not parental advice.

Just laugh and say ‘no’

TheChiefBMS · 04/04/2018 13:40

I'd completely ignore such demands. They have no business making them.

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Childcare & nursery Families
NeverMetACakeIDidntLike · 04/04/2018 13:40

That's crackers.

Our nursery is the opposite. They ask us what we'd like them to do (in terms of sleep, food etc.)

AddictiveCereal · 04/04/2018 13:42

Sounds stange. Is it just one staff member in particular saying things like that?

Original poster
missingdiamond · 04/04/2018 13:42

I once mentioned "baby-led" to them about something and got a look that would kill.

We're quite new there having started late but, from what I see, the other parents ignore the "rules". It makes for a horrid atmosphere though.

quietlife That's what my sister said but I'm a bit timid when it comes to things like that. Will have to grow a spine.

We have to give a term's notice to leave and have just sent the email. So stupid of them really. It can't be just me that feels like this.

OP posts:
insancerre · 04/04/2018 13:45

Just tell them no
I'm a nursery manager and I can't imagine telling my parents to do those things

Tell them they are interfering and have no right to dictate any of those things, they are really not important

Unless there is s major back story?

Makingworkwork · 04/04/2018 13:48

This is all very odd. When my DD first started nursery the staff thought it was hilarious that she called me by my first name. She was only 11 months and had advanced speech but would not say Mummy it anything like it.

Is it a private nursery that is part of the school or do they just rent space of the school? If they are just renting the space then the school maybe very different.

The concerns about if she is staying for lunch may create confusion about if they have to provide food for her and they may want to consistence for her if she stays all the time or goes home at lunch time but the food thing is bar shit crazy. Children adapt.

Original poster
missingdiamond · 04/04/2018 13:48

AddictiveCereal The head of nursery and the pre-prep head (she has a say because they assume that your child will be staying on to go to Reception) are the worst. When a relative had to pick up DD one day, she said she instantly disliked the nursery head, so I don't think it's just me. (No member of staff was like this when we looked round before choosing of course.)

The TAs are not as strict, in fact some of them don't even know these "rules" when I have mentioned them.

I am actually dreading sending DD back after Easter.

OP posts:
Original poster
missingdiamond · 04/04/2018 13:52

Part of the school as far as I know.

insancerre Thank you, it's good to hear from a nursery manager. No back story (whatever you mean by that). We just moved to the area and it is the first time DD has gone to nursery but she has settled in well despite being hit by a child on her first day!

OP posts:
Makingworkwork · 04/04/2018 14:00

Is it a private school?

Enidblyton1 · 04/04/2018 14:05

At face value, this sounds very weird and OTT.
But how do they even know what you feed her at home, unless you've made a point of telling them? Does your DD sometimes decide to stay for lunch and other times come home? Whilst nurseries should accommodate children/parents as much as possible, I imagine it could make planning tricky if every child was allowed to change their hours all the time.
I might have got the wrong end of the stick here, but I do wonder if you are 'that parent' and actually the nursery are trying to get you to leave - they've succeeded.

Thistlebelle · 04/04/2018 14:07

Just smile cheerily and ignore them. (And change nursery)

JuliaSevern · 04/04/2018 14:11

It does sound like they are overstepping. I'd be firm and say "No we are happy with her calling me.." and "We have a hot meal in the evening, but prefer sandwiches at lunch" etc

Original poster
missingdiamond · 04/04/2018 14:28

Yes, private school.

I might be "that parent" but we've only been there a few weeks so I don't think they would have had time to find out lol! Plus I have tried to accommodate them, it was only when friends and family told me it was not normal at Easter that I started to query it. I've never queried it with them. As I said, I'm a bit of a pushover with authority. I didn't even make a fuss about the hitting, I know these things happen.

I don't change her hours, that wouldn't be allowed. DD didn't start having lunches at first, this seems normal when they first start, then in the third week (I think) they asked me if I wanted her to start staying and I asked DD and was told off!

They know what we have for lunch because they ask on the form you fill in when you start.

OP posts:
Original poster
missingdiamond · 04/04/2018 14:31

Do nurseries/schools do that then, act nastily to you so you leave?

OP posts:
insancerre · 04/04/2018 14:40

I have never made my children a hot meal in the middle of the day
I've never heard such rubbish

Original poster
missingdiamond · 04/04/2018 14:45

insancerre We sometimes are going out somewhere, softplay or shopping, so eat when we get there, and that may be hot. If we're at home though it tends to be sandwiches, salads or something on toast.

The head actually said "Start cooking school food at home", those were the exact words.

OP posts:
Original poster
missingdiamond · 04/04/2018 14:46

For lunch she meant, we were talking about lunch.

OP posts:
FleurDelacoeur · 04/04/2018 14:50

Do you work? If you're not relying on the school for childcare then I would just accept that you pay for summer term, but your DD doesn't go back. You're clearly not comfortable with the place, use the time to look around other places which will be more suitable for next year.

SnooSigh · 04/04/2018 14:53

DH went to private school and they used to have a sushi bar, is that what they mean? 😂

Original poster
missingdiamond · 04/04/2018 14:54

I work but childcare is no problem. Paying for the summer term and not going is a couple of grand down the drain!

OP posts:
FleurDelacoeur · 04/04/2018 15:03

Yeah but if you're unhappy, and she's unhappy, and you're not sending her next year anyway, then yes it's money down the drain but there's no way of getting it back.

Original poster
missingdiamond · 04/04/2018 15:12

I suppose you're right.

I'm really wondering if they tried to get rid of us now. Another parent is leaving, they have been there longer though.

I'd hate to think it was because of something I or DD did though. Confused

OP posts:
Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 04/04/2018 15:14

Under what circumstances did you feel the need to mention "baby led" to the nursery?!

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