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Original poster

WWYD Nursery are trying to dictate home life!

58 replies

missingdiamond · 04/04/2018 13:33

We are having a terrible time with DD's nursery who keep coming up with demands for how we live our life! For example, they are insisting that DD refers to me as "mummy" or "mum" and not the nickname she has for me???? They have also informed me that I give her "too much choice" (I ask her whether she wants to stay for lunch for example) and that I have to start cooking "school food" at lunchtime when she is at home so she gets used to eating a hot meal in the middle of the day.

It's a private nursery attached to a school. We have already decided that DD won't be going t the school because of this pressure.

This is rather OTT isn't it?

OP posts:
Original poster
missingdiamond · 04/04/2018 15:18

Thing is, thinking aloud here, they are nowhere near full because there are several outstanding nurseries in the area. (It was one of the reasons we chose the place, they had any day all day available even late in the year.) How bad would you have to be for them to want you out though?

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Original poster
missingdiamond · 04/04/2018 15:24

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar We were just discussing weaning as one of the mums has a 6 month old and I remarked we did baby led weaning. (Other people said it too!)

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Original poster
missingdiamond · 04/04/2018 15:28

Oh, I've just realised, that's why they had loads of space and are not full, isn't it?!

I'm a twit!

OP posts:

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GrooovyLass · 04/04/2018 16:03

I'd say they're not full because they're awful!

Enidblyton1 · 04/04/2018 17:42

Mmm, always a bad sign if they are not full. Although do you get your full free hours at the nursery? Could also explain lower numbers. Our nursery is attached to a pre prep school. They claim to give the free hours, but actually they only give the free hours in the afternoon if you've paid 11/hr for the 3 hours in the morning! So a full day still costs around £35 including lunch. This puts a lot of people off.

In any case, telling you what your child should call you is the oddest thing I've ever heard anyone say about a nursery. I would put her name down for one of the other nurseries in the area. You might need to do that now to get a place for September if they are oversubscribed.

Sorry for assuming you to be 'that mother' - I don't think you are after reading your other posts!

ohtheholidays · 05/04/2018 01:26

That Nursey sounds awful,I was a Nursery Nurse and I worked in a private Nursery a Surestart Nursery and a Nursery that was attached to a school and I'd never have spoken to a parent in that way,I'd have expected to be let go if I had or at the very least to have been given a warning.

Please don't think it's anything you or your DD has done OP,if they carry on in that way I'd hate to see the results of they're next ofsted report.

JuliaSevern · 05/04/2018 01:33

How bad would you have to be for them to want you out though?
Why do you think they want you out? They sound bossy but you sound easy going. I can't see why they'd want rid of you

Original poster
missingdiamond · 05/04/2018 09:40

JuliaSevern I hadn't thought of it but someone upthread suggested it so I was wondering whether nurseries do this.

The nursery hasn't had an inspection for quite a while. Time for another I think.

I think that they are bossy to make it easier on themselves, not the children or families. But it is inconsistent because some parents take no notice. They treat the nursery as a service they pay for. I was treating it as a start to DD's whole school life and was prepared to join in, fund raise, make costumes, help out whenever needed... It's made me a harder person now.

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Tilly35 · 05/04/2018 09:44

I’m just so curious what your DD calls you instead of mummy?

DairyisClosed · 05/04/2018 09:45

Just remind them that you are paying them and not the other way around.

Tilly35 · 05/04/2018 09:45

My son called me Boris for a few months but that was just to annoy me

Original poster
missingdiamond · 05/04/2018 09:51

Tilly35 It's just another word for "mummy" in a different language. It sounds similar.

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Tilly35 · 05/04/2018 09:55

Thanks, I can get on with my day now Grin got a roast dinner to cook for my 3 year old’s lunch Wink

TheSpottedZebra · 05/04/2018 09:56

Is the school food thing some kind of disguised racist comment?
Are you from a non- white British culture?
(Sorry to be so blunt)

Original poster
missingdiamond · 05/04/2018 09:56
Grin

I might go all out and do three courses with a choice of puds!

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Original poster
missingdiamond · 05/04/2018 10:01

TheSpottedZebra It never occurred to me! DH was born here but his family roots are elsewhere. They can't have meant that surely?

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Tilly35 · 05/04/2018 10:02

It’s what a good MAMA would do! I would enjoy winding them up tbh whilst doing your one month notice, ask them every day what you should make for lunch, are carrots ok? What shape should they be cut into? Don’t let it make you hard OP your next nursery will be thrilled to have an enthusiastic mum on their books

Original poster
missingdiamond · 05/04/2018 10:05

It's a TERM's notice, not a month :(

I have gone off sending her back at all though.

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JuliaSevern · 05/04/2018 10:38

It's just another word for "mummy" in a different language
How dare you use a word from another language in your own home. Wink Grin
Is your dd happy at the nursey?

Original poster
missingdiamond · 05/04/2018 11:26

JuliaSevern I think so but she doesn't know any different. We joined late so she is having to break in to the friendship groups and the girls all seem to be paired up and there are a lot of rough boys.

I've decided to take her out though. It's not a good environment. It is not nurturing at all. I don't know the reason for their dictating what happens outside the doors but now I know it is not usual for a nursery to do this, I will look elsewhere.

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Chocolala · 05/04/2018 11:36

Sounds awful. Glad you will take her out. Remember to give notice immediately or you’ll end up paying for next term as well.

PalePinkSwan · 05/04/2018 11:41

Look at it this way, the fees you’ve already paid are a sunk cost. You can’t get them back whatever happens - but you can avoid having to deal with these people anymore by taking DD out.

jellycat1 · 05/04/2018 11:42

So i assume your DD is 3? My son is 3 and at Nursery and I'd be pretty peeved if they said anything like that to me. The school sounds like one of those very arrogant preps. Is it very oversubscribed? At least you've seen their true colours before anything tempted you to let her stay on for pre prep.

Original poster
missingdiamond · 05/04/2018 11:53

Chocolala I have to pay for next term regardless as it is a term's notice. :(

jellycat No, not oversubscribed. I've just checked their accounts at Companies House and they are doing OK though. But yes, there will be more friendly places for us.

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llangennith · 05/04/2018 11:54

A bit OTT but I agree that young children don’t cope well with being given a choice about everything.