WWYD Nursery are trying to dictate home life!

[missingdiamond]

We are having a terrible time with DD's nursery who keep coming up with demands for how we live our life! For example, they are insisting that DD refers to me as "mummy" or "mum" and not the nickname she has for me???? They have also informed me that I give her "too much choice" (I ask her whether she wants to stay for lunch for example) and that I have to start cooking "school food" at lunchtime when she is at home so she gets used to eating a hot meal in the middle of the day.

It's a private nursery attached to a school. We have already decided that DD won't be going t the school because of this pressure.

This is rather OTT isn't it?

llangennith I agree of course. But asking DD whether she wanted to start staying for lunch is not "everything". She decides whether she wants to stay at her friend's houses (and always says yes anyway).

I was told what I was told, I think now, because they thought she may have said no and they wanted to dictate to me without interference.

I think you need to innocentface it up and say you are concerned the school isn't doing enough to support your child's multicultural needs, and ask them to see their policy on supporting diverse cultures in the school community. My son calls various family members weird names and I think it's much nicer than just plain old auntie sue and uncle Bob.

squarecorners Do you mean so I don't have to pay or just to complain? I can't prove anything, that is the thing. They haven't written any of these "rules" down, just told me.

Well a) you need to let them know you're not a doormat, and b) if you can prove at any point they are in breach of their contract you could potentially get out of paying. Without knowing what you've signed I don't know, but it's certainly a way to assert the fact that you are in charge outside their gates. Implying they could potentially get pulled up for racism night just sufficiently shit them up enough for you to deal with a term of it while you've given them notice.

Sounds as if they see their role as preparing the DCs for the school, rather than to care for them as tiny, preschool children. So they're trying to make you fit their schools routine even tho she's not old enough for school, so that the DCs will move up seamlessly.
I suspect thats their logic, but I think its silly - pre schoolers should be treated appropriately for their age, not as 5 year olds in training!
Especially if she's no going to school there, I'd get on the waiting list for the pre school nearest the school she will go to if possible (so she meets the kids she'll be in school with).

OP you have my sympathies- negotiating the minefield of nurseries is stressful enough without the nursery placing random demands on you.

Both my boys have been at different nurseries (we moved house) and I remember DS1s nursery used to bend over backwards to help your child fit in and used ask me how I wanted things done & as it was my first I honestly often didn't have a clue (potty training for example) They even bought the brand of nappy / wipe we used at home for him - it was a while ago when nappies still tended to be included in the price. He stayed here right up until starting reception as the school nursery didn't really work with full time work.

DS2 is currently at a nursery and once a month we have an 'all about me' sheet to fill in asking what we like doing, what we like to be called, what we like to eat etc.

They both often ask the kids opinion's & what they wanted to do etc even if they are somewhat random (DS2 is only nearly 2)
Both have been rather different experience's but can't fault either nursery.

BTW my eldest went from this to school with absolutely no bother - he's now almost 10 so Nursery seems a long time ago

wonkylegs I am heartbroken. They are just not kind people like the ones you describe. DD is so accepting of everything, as I am, and it is awful having to start again. The other parents who take no notice don't seem to be told as much as we have been. They bring their children without the nursery sweatshirt on and no one says a word. I am sure they would jump down my throat if I ever did that!