Hi, 3:21 in the morning and I been half awake all night with my nearly 9 years old boy. He got the flu and I do as well. I been singing, massaging him, and kissing for hours, but I can shake the feeling of guilt, and sadness out of my body becouse I want to stop and go to sleep.
My chest really hurts. I feel that I should be giving more after all he is a miracle. I was abuse from the age of 8 till I run away from home at 18, move to another country, went to uni, work as a professional for nearly 20 years, have a husband for 20 years that lives me, don’t ask me way, but I am still here feeling so guilty about wanted to stop giving my son what he needed even after he felt asleep again.
Do I feel guilty becouse My life should not count? Is that just my childhood controlling my life once again? So tired of feeling guilty, sad and so ill.