doctor phones his patient.....

[ash6605]

"its your wife sir,we have mixed up her test results. we're not sure if she has alzheimers or aids"

"so what should i do then?" asks the concerned husband

"well if she finds her way home-for gods sake don't fuck her"

That's terrible.....try this one.

A man sits crying on a park bench. A young lady sees him and asks him what's the matter.

"Well" he says. "I'm 90 years old, a multimillionaire, I have five cars and I'm married to a stunning 19 year old and she's promised to make love to me three times before bedtime".

"What's the problem then" asks the woman.

"I can't remember where I live" he replies sadly.

Girl goes to see Doctor. He says "Big Breaths".
She replies, "Yeth, and I'm only thixteen"