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Original poster

Leave nearly 13yo DS at home tomorrow night?

13 replies

Magnificunt · 31/12/2016 00:03

We've got tickets to a NYE party at a sports club not far from home (me, DH, DS1, DS2, my DM & DF) but DS1 really doesn't want to go. DH thinks he'll be ok at home on his own however I'm a bit uncomfortable about it because we won't be back until late.

He's 13 next week and he's been left at home alone for an hour or two quite regularly for around a year now, usually while I pop to the shops or take younger DS to activities etc. and he usually just sits on his Xbox.

He's got a phone if he needs to contact us, we'll only be a couple of miles down the road and I know next door are staying in. I'd still rather he went to stay at ILs overnight but he's sulking at that idea! WWYD?

OP posts:

Floralnomad · 31/12/2016 00:10

It would be a choice of go to the party or go to the grandparents if he were mine .

canyou · 31/12/2016 00:17

Either he goes with you or inlaws in my opinion. Here most ph networks go down around midnight so he may have no contact with you. And it is unfair to rely on next door to keep an eye out for him. This is very different to popping to the shop or dropping /collecting someone during the day IMO anyway

Original poster

Magnificunt · 31/12/2016 00:31

I think so too, DH doesn't think it's any different being left at night than it is in the day but I think there's a bigger risk of being burgled etc. plus if we needed to get back in a hurry god knows how long we'll be waiting for a taxi.

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Floralnomad · 31/12/2016 00:41

You also need to look at the bigger picture , what if next year he decides he doesn't want to come on a weekend away or a holiday , don't start setting the precedent now that he can opt out and get to do exactly what he wants , the compromise is he goes to the Inlaws .

MrsBlennerhassett · 31/12/2016 00:48

Can you ask your neighbours to keep an eye on him? i mean by just popping round a couple of times throughout the evening to check hes okay?
I think id actually let him stay home. I was allowed to at this age as id turned into a right anti social teen and didnt want to go anywhere until i was about 17!!
Its not like you are going to be gone the entire night and hes used to being alone in the house by himself.

bizzey · 31/12/2016 01:41

You are going to leave your 12 year old alone on New Years Eve...while you all go out ...and would need a taxi to get back to him (on NYE) if there was a problem. (1-2hour wait)

Just checking I read it correct....

(cos words fail me !)

YoScienceBitch · 31/12/2016 01:53

I would. I was home alone from 12.

Mediumred · 31/12/2016 02:00

Umm, I don't think I would have a problem with this either if he's shown himself very responsible in the past. Presumably he gets himself to and from school/mates' houses alone? I was 13 when I started babysitting for younger kids (but am a bit of an old gimmer!)

Finola1step · 31/12/2016 02:05

No, I wouldn't. He is 12. He is opting out on a family occasion. The key question is would he know what to do in an emergency and be able to do it? Late at night on NYE when all sorts of "revellers" are out and about. Firework through letterbox for example. If you were at a party next door that would be ok but you know that you wouldn't be able to get back to him quickly if need be.

Tell him GPs or party.

VelvetSpoon · 31/12/2016 12:29

I don't think he should be made to go if he doesn't want to.

My DS is a couple of years older, but is staying in on his own tonight (we're going to a social club about 30 mins walk away, DS1 to a party) as he would rather be on X box than go out. He did the same last year as well when we went to the local pub 10mins away.

My DS is used to spending quite a lot of time at home on his own, so it wouldn't faze him. I don't agree with forcing him to grandparents, he's almost a teenager and old enough to be at home alone for a few hours.

Ilovecaindingle · 31/12/2016 12:31

At 12 he should still be doing what he is told imo. .

helpfulperson · 31/12/2016 13:51

I'm sorry but what are you going to do about a firework through the door if you are next door that would be any different from being miles away.

At 13 if someone puts a firework through the door he should be capable of throwing a bucket of water over it if possible and sensible and leaving and phoning fire brigade if not.

I would have no problem leaving him. Why should he go to a party if he doesn't want to. If it was the DM who didn't want to go should she be made.

Original poster

Magnificunt · 31/12/2016 14:35

He's going to his grandparents. He's a sensible kid and I could trust him alone, but I'm not comfortable leaving him until after midnight. I'd spend all night worrying

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