Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

IL's not thanking my parents for hosting Xmas day

33 replies

smartiecake · 27/12/2016 21:12

Every year for the past 10 years I have hosted Xmas and cooked for 12+ people, my parents, sister and her family and my in-laws (DH is an only child) so that we are at home and everyone sees the kids and this has been fine. This year my parents hosted, cooked, bought most of the food, lots of effort. Again all of us together and invited my inlaws along. Had a good day and were there for about 9 hours. Today I find out my FIL (v quiet) left without saying thanks or goodbye to my parents, although I am sure MIL did. I am really annoyed by this. What do I do? I want to raise it with the in-laws and say I think it was rude but it could cause a falling out with them and upset DH.
DH doesn't know yet but I will tell him. He is unlikely to want to say anything for fear of rocking the boat but my immediate reaction is they can be on their own next bloody year then but then I am mean.
What do I do? I am fuming

OP posts:
FrostyWind · 27/12/2016 21:14

If MiL thanked them, then what's the problem? They were thanked.

TyneTeas · 27/12/2016 21:14

Did MIL not thank on behalf of both of them?

OneWithTheForce · 27/12/2016 21:15

What do I do?

Nothing! They are adults. Not your children who you get to chastise for rude behaviour. You aren't the behaviour police. If they didn't thank you for hosting you would be entitled to tell them you felt unappreciated but it isn't nothing to do with you. It is between you parents and inlaws. Let people organise their own relationships.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Events & celebrations Families
HecAteAllTheXmasPud · 27/12/2016 21:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AyeAmarok · 27/12/2016 21:16

I don't see the issue if MIL thanked them?

Aderyn2016 · 27/12/2016 21:18

I think fil should have said goodbye. It's rude to leave without speaking to the host. If mil thanked your parents, I would take it that she us speaking on behalf of them both.
While fil was a bit rude, I wouldn't cause a row over it, not if it was a one off and he is generally nice.

Original poster
smartiecake · 27/12/2016 21:18

Ok thanks, he never thanks me either he is a miserable sod!
I still think he is rude though he didn't even say bye he just got in the car and left after having their food and drink for 9 hours.
I won't say anything i will just keep my peed off feelings to myself then

OP posts:
MoreThanUs · 27/12/2016 21:20

Step away. Your parents are adults, your inlaws are adults - it is between them.

OohhThatsMe · 27/12/2016 21:21

Would he actually prefer to stay at home for Christmas Day?

WallisFrizz · 27/12/2016 21:21

If he had been enjoying their food and drink for 9 hours, he was possibly drunk? If they are rude generally then yes say something (will probably only cause bad feeling tho) otherwise give benefit of the doubt.

KERALA1 · 27/12/2016 21:22

Bloody rude. Mannerless.

BackforGood · 27/12/2016 21:24

Nothing to do with you.
If one half of a couple thanked the hosts, then they thanked them on behalf of them both. I don't even see it as an issue.

If it were an issue (say they both walked out without saying anything) it's still nothing to do with you - if it bothered your parents then that's up to them if they invite them again or not.

Keep your nose out.

DollyPlastic · 27/12/2016 21:25

He's rude but why are you fuming? If he never thanks you, why did you expect it to be any different this year?

OneWithTheForce · 27/12/2016 21:25

Would you like your DH to chastise your parents for things he believes they have done wrong or rudely?

Original poster
smartiecake · 27/12/2016 21:25

Yes he probably would prefer to stay at home but only as poor MIL would wait on him hand and foot and he
Would not get out of his chair all day. He is ok and generally nice but I think he is just lacking in manners sometimes. If it was the other way round my parents would have both thanked them said goodbyes etc and if not MIL would have been in a right huff about it and said so. Maybe he thinks as MIL said thanks then she was speaking for both, but really a 'thanks for having me and a lovely day' would not have been difficult really.

OP posts:
Original poster
smartiecake · 27/12/2016 21:27

I'm annoyed as my parents went to a lot of effort and expense and it was a big deal to them to make it a nice day. Everyone else there managed it. Why it him?

OP posts:
WellErrr · 27/12/2016 21:27

Naughty step?

Or take away their tablets?

pklme · 27/12/2016 21:27

You said he is quiet. My DH never speaks if I will speak for him.

Original poster
smartiecake · 27/12/2016 21:28

Yes naughty step it is then!

OP posts:
WellErrr · 27/12/2016 21:29

Some people are just rude.

You can't change it, it doesn't really affect you, so don't stress.

WellErrr · 27/12/2016 21:29

Annoying though I know.

OneWithTheForce · 27/12/2016 21:29

Why it him?

Because that's who he is! You said yourself. Why would you expect him to be any different? And yes your MIL thanked your parents for both of them.

Original poster
smartiecake · 27/12/2016 21:30

I will just be quietly annoyed then

OP posts:
WellErrr · 27/12/2016 21:33

Just silently seethe every time you see him. But say nothing.

It's the British way

Original poster
smartiecake · 27/12/2016 21:35

I can do that well!!

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread