Crap housewife confessions

[nicetoseeyoutoseeyounice]

I cannot fry and egg. Or boil one. Actually I just suck with eggs in general. It's scrambled or nothing at all. I've also never cooked an entire chicken and I wouldn't have the first clue how. I cook from scratch every night and would generally say I'm a decent cook. But I haven't mastered the basics. Anyone else want to confess their inadequacies in the housewife department?

I'm fairly sure you could fry or boil an egg or roast a chicken, they are really easy, 🙄

Urrrgggg!
Washing and ironing!!! I can never really bring myself to do it until I run out of clean undies 🙈

I'm too afraid of the spitting oil to fry an egg! I hate frying anything in too much oil. I even cook bacon in the oven to avoid spitting fat. Oh yeh ironing. Shit, that's another thing I don't do.

I can't use a tumble dryer without shrinking everything.
I always get anxious cooking (plain) rice. End up taking the lid off/adding water when not needed. Etc
I am the worst at ironing and can't fold clothes properly
Also I never really know how many days I can use a towel for...

I've never roasted a chicken either or any other joint of meat. I'm not a big meat eater anyway though.

I also don't iron my bedclothes, can't be arsed.

I've never roasted any meat either.
I virtually cook nothing. DH does it.
I'm good at fish fingers, nuggets, pizza, oven chips....lol

I hide crumbs etc under the fridge/sofa

I can't sew to save my life. I once returned an item of clothing because a button fell off.

I don't iron full stop. Thankfully the free standing dryer we have gets out most creases lol 😁 Cleaning the tops of cupboards and behind units-nope not happening, what if there's a spider?!
I'd be terrible if I was single 😂

Can't make Yorkshire puddings or flap jacks and have ruined far too many baking tins to try again

Ironing - hate it. If DH wants his shirts ironed, he can do it himself.

Proper de-cluttering and sorting. I just don't know where to start. I hate clutter and stuff everywhere so I just shove it into drawers/cupboards. As a result, I have absolutely no idea where my passport is and have had order new birth certificates for my kids

I’m terrible at tidying.
Paperwork
Crap at cooking. Most decent thing I cook is a roast

What is wrong with you? You were born without a penis....These household chores should come as second nature... Such a misrepresentation of true womanhood in the modern world....Ffs!!!

Sometimes I just spray a little bit of polish into the air - like an air freshener - to give the impression to dh that I’ve done FAR more housework than I actually have.

I don’t iron unless it’s for an event/occasion or awfully crinkled - I’ve found that hanging/folding fresh out of the dryer makes them pretty wrinkle-free, dryer claims to have an ironing function but whatever I’m rambling about that now!

I don’t send dp off with a lovingly prepared packed lunch every day... I can’t sew, I have a sewing machine but not the foggiest clue how to use it, I’m terrible for piles and clutter... having said that though I have tornado tidying mastered. Oh how I love pickup bags.

I never polish use wet wipes instead
I can not cook rice
I hate housework

I'm never convinced food is cooked until its got black (or on a good day, very brown) bits on it. It's a family joke but without the laughing