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Original poster

I am annoyed by niece's Christmas list

93 replies

user1475236059 · 13/12/2016 16:25

My 13 year old niece (SIL DD) sent me a whatsapp image of a christmas list she drew up. this list contains names of uncles and aunts and what christmas gift she wants from them. the gifts prices ranged from £15 to £25 and she assigned a gift to each aunt or uncle (my husband and i are supposed to get her 2 separate gifts). i am both annoyed and confused, it came across really arrogant and entitled to me. I spoke to her mom about it and she laughed it off. my kids are toddlers but i will never think its ok for them to send out a list like that. she didn't even attach a polite message with it. on one hand, she is my fave niece from my husband's side, she adores my toddlers and is always eager to help me with baby stuff whenever she is available. on the other hand, the list annoyed the hell out of me. she asked for a beauty set that costs £20. her mom lets her wear make up. WWYD, just buy the gift, buy one jointly with DH or just ignore her completely

OP posts:

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 13/12/2016 18:40

Buy her a Debrett's Guide For Teenagers

1horatio · 13/12/2016 19:20

genius

No, the way she did it was rude. Especially if nobody asked her...

But just sending the same list to everybody and be happy when she gets the same thing several times (as some have suggested!) is also ridiculous. Getting 5 copies of the same book is really pretty bad.

I'd expect this to go like this: 'what do would you like for Christmas?'

'that new makeup bag from xyz, please' or maybe 'that new makeupbag from xyz or a gift card for zyx, please'

AmeliaJack · 13/12/2016 20:22

I think some of the comments in this thread are pretty harsh.

I'm sure it wasn't your intention User but you have opened up your niece to a trashing in the internet. Unless you've changed a lot of details this is pretty identifiable.

Her list was ill advised but so was this thread. She's going to be so hurt if she see it.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Christmas Events & celebrations Families

Serialweightwatcher · 13/12/2016 21:11

Doubt very much a 13 year old girl would spend much time on mumsnet or on the daily fail if it ends up in there - maybe instead of being upset she could see how her manners could be changed for the better

rollonthesummer · 13/12/2016 21:22

I would be horrified if my 13 year old did this!

How much do you normally spend on her?

Have you discussed this list with the other uncles and aunts-do they think it's rude or will they each be buying her a gift?!

I would reply saying something like-

'Goodness, nice try but DH and I don't give separate presents, you'll be getting just one thing from us, we aren't made of money!'

cheekyfunkymonkey · 13/12/2016 21:26

Ignore and get her what you were planning to. Gift lists like this really wind me up, it's so grabby, but accept my reaction may be extreme, we didn't even do a wedding list which I know is more mainstream because it felt wrong.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 14/12/2016 10:18

1horatio - yes, you are spot on about sending the same list to everyone. I suggested she give her list to her mum, who could act as an intermediary, when relatives ring up wanting to know what she might like. Plus, that way there would still be some element of surprise.

Dogolphin · 14/12/2016 14:14

If I had done that to my Aunt at that age I would have got a very severe raised eyebrow, and I wouldn't have done it again. Try the raised eyebrow OP!

If I received that list from either of my nieces I would send a book token and some chocolates for marginally less than the requested present. So if she asked for two presents of £20 each she would get a £30 voucher and some chocolates.

xStefx · 14/12/2016 14:18

It is presumptuous and a little spoilt but id love my nieces and nephews to tell me what to buy them as I always worry that ive got them something they don't really want/ like

Original poster

user1475236059 · 15/12/2016 09:17

Thanks you guys,

I decided to buy her one gift from DH and I and to let her know that that list wasn't a very good idea. Afterall, it takes a village to raise a kid and i am part of her village.

OP posts:

wizzywig · 15/12/2016 09:22

Is this any different to circling items in an argos catalogue?

KnowOneNose · 15/12/2016 10:01

That sounds like a good plan. I could tell my 13 DN if she had done something a bit rude like this. I'd be nice about it but I'd tell. She would probably take note too. In fact my DN probably listens to me more than her Mum at the moment 😂 She is lovely babut a bit of a teen at times.

1horatio · 15/12/2016 13:13

I suggested she give her list to her mum, who could act as an intermediary, when relatives ring up wanting to know what she might like

That's how it's done in my family.

And if they used to do it like and the mother was just like... 'well, do it in your own, this year'.. it's rude, but some of the responses here are really over the top.

Giving her one gift and remind her that she has to wait until somebdoy asks her for her Christmas gift list is a great idea, imo.

BrieAndChilli · 15/12/2016 13:20

I have amazon wish lists set up for my 3 kids but I make sure there is a range of things on there from a fiver upwards, I only send it to people who want it and it's just for ideas, plus it makes it easier if everyone decides to get DS for example Lego they don't all get the same set. But I would never send it out unsolicited

alotlikeChristmas16 · 17/12/2016 21:04

Sounds like a good call to me op, and I agree teens can sometimes take comments on board from kind relatives better than their mum

rollonthesummer · 18/12/2016 08:59

What did she say when you spoke to her, op?

Wolverbamptonwanderer · 18/12/2016 09:02

She's only 13. She's still learning what is and isn't rude

AmysTiara · 18/12/2016 09:07

I'm baffled by the comments that she is only 13 and still learning.

This sounds more like something a seven year old would write. I'd be embarrassed if my thirteen year old did this. It's really cheeky.

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