15 yr old Neice abused my 2 yr old son

[Charliebr0wn]

I can't believe this has happened to my child. It has turned our family upside down. I am thankful my son is unaware and is 100% fine health wise, mentally and physically since the incident.
I cannot forgive my neice. It has been extra difficult with the offender being family. She has not admitted to her indecent behaviour even though there was physical proof. Her parents and our extended family have tried to force happy families again. I can't and won't pretend like everything is OK. It makes me sick beyond belief. Do any of you have any help or advice please? Thank you

I'm so sorry that you're going through this and then dealing with what I imagine feels like a betrayal of your family on top of it. I was in the position of your child, the abuse I suffered was very significant (police involvement, discussions of prosecution) and yet there were - and remain - members of my family who do not believe me. They spent many an occasion with my rapist after learning of what he did, and think I was "mistaken." I'm sure they never risked having their children alone with him, though. It has taken many years of therapy for me to understand that their betrayal was almost as damaging as the abuse itself.

Be proud of yourselves as you work through this. No doubt one day your son will be very proud of you too.

Sorry Across - I may have got that wrong (I use the desktop site mostly).

But yes, to the second method!

If you click the three dots on the mobile site you should get a message poster button. Don't know about the app.

I watched a close friend's family do the same after she was abused for months by someone in the house. They just brushed it all under the carpet and I never understood why. I feel for you - this is just awful in every way

Well done for tackling it!
No they are not worth keeping in touch with.
There attitude speaks for itself.
Hope you can find support for yourself and your son.

Thank you all so much. To all of you who have been through abuse too i am deeply sorry. It's a sad world we live in sometimes. How anyone can take abuse of any kind lightly is beyond me, especially abuse to kiddies. I visiting the grandparents today, they went on and on about how great neice was and how well she's doing at school. I nearly had a panic attack there and then, why rub my face in it? They must understand thinking about her makes me I'll never mind talking about her. I have made the decision to go on and seek counselling for this, I need to move on and concentrate on my son and daughter and our little family. If it means little contact or no contact to wider family circle then so be it.

Yes sailaway, that's exactly it, it feels like betrayal as they show disbelief and lack of support

It certainly isn't the biggest issue but my family has also paid little to no attention to my dd since she has been born either. It's nearly because I have nothing to do with neice they're treating dd the same way. My sister didn't even bother to get a card for her when she was born. Sorry, just needed to vent. It's clear I need to distance myself or I'm going to become ill worrying about them constantly. I don't need the stress. I have done right by my son and that is what matters most. My gorgeous boy and beautiful baby girl keep me going, not forgetting dh. Dh finds it extremely distressing to talk about so thanks for listening

We've had a similar situation in our family in that my nephew abused (touching) his young cousin. He was 12 and she was 3.

He was sent to a young offenders' institution as he had a younger sister and was not allowed to live with younger children.

i find it odd that your family has not been advised how to manage the contact as clearly there is a huge issue, both families need support.

I'm sorry OP as you must feel very shocked and betrayed. You need to be very firm about cutting contact, they are not getting it (convenient) and your child's safety must be paramount. Yours too! No reason in the world why you should have to keep seeing the perpetrator.

It does sound as though your niece needs professional help (she sounds very troubled as was my nephew, neglected by mother and stepfather in favour of new children) but I'm not sure that should be on your shoulders, I think you have enough to cope with.

Sorry, cross posted.

Don't let them bully you! They do not care for you or your children at all, time to steer clear.

Your family are down playing this and not recognising your son is the victim of a very serious crime. That calls into question their judgement on everything. I would cut contact. You don't need those kind of people near your children.