Husband's 1st wedding pics !!

[Fermerswifey34]

My husband and I have recently moved in with FIL after my MIL passed away suddenly. My husband had a brief marriage 20 years ago but it didn't last as his wife was a nut job and got very friendly with most of his friends!! Anyway....having moved in, it is now my job to try and make space for our stuff and in the spare room I have come across my husbands first wedding album and several large canvas framed pictures of their wedding. Also 'our' room is a time warp to my husbands younger days and he has drawers which contain his wedding ring and lots of pics of his ex wife!! I feel very unsettled by this....what would you do ??? TIA

Could you pack.it up and put it in the loft or something?

Thanks redglitter.....that's not a bad idea. X

I spent an hour sniggering at my husband's first wedding photos when we moved house. I thought he should keep the album (for his kids if not for anything else) but he slung it.

Yeah just stick it in the loft. He's probably just not got around to shifting it.

Tell him to pack it all up and put it into storage. If he doesn't laminate some large pictures of your exes ( ideally naked ones) and pop them up on the walls together with extracts from any love letters / sexts.

Haha that made me lol.....thanks for that sparkle :) x

I had a good snigger too to be fair.....he's a bit of a cleptomaniac tho my DH so doubt he'd sling them even although I'd quite like him to! :)

Personally I'm not sure why he would want to keep stuff like that? I'd ask him to get rid.

Yes that's how I feel, thanks I thought I was maybe being a bit over sensitive x

I packed up all the photos of my husband's ex (not wife but long-term partner) and put them safely in the cellar - not out of jealousy but we are short on space and she was the first thing to go!

Ask him to put them in the loft.

I still have the photo album from my first marriage. Mostly for the DCs - but it was a big part of my life which I don't regret - why would I bin it? It's part of who I am. DH doesn't seem to care one way or the other - it just sits on one of the bookshelves. This is only as big a deal as you make it be.

Fair comment.....I think you're right to keep it for ur DCs as it's their life too. X

I've got my first wedding album and wedding ring - in fact I used my wedding ring to size my 2nd wedding ring which we ordered online. I also have old picture of my exH with all my other old pictures, dating back to pre-digital times. It's part of my life and I'm not prepared to wipe it out.

It doesn't sound like your husband is bothered - they were at his parents house not his, but equally he shouldn't have to feel like he has to get rid of it.

Is it just you doing the sorting - can't be also be involved and make his own decisions about this stuff?

I don't think he is bothered, just dont want my wee boy finding them and asking why daddy is in a wedding photo with someone else as my husband doesn't like to talk about it. It was a painful time. He would be welcome to help with the sorting but he never has any time unfortunately so it's left to me x

Well your FIL's lost his wife and your DH has lost his mother, so I don't think you should bother either of them with it.

They're not yours to bin, so I wouldn't do that either.

I second shoving them in a box out of the way somewhere.

So they've been in his mum and dads house? Does he even know they're there?

My dh made a huge deal about a photo album I had of my first marriage, he was really hurt I still kept it and it caused a huge row! I was really shocked as to me it didn't mean anything really, just an old album I forgot I even had and had mainly kept because I liked the photos of my other family members in it...! In the end I got rid of it to keep him happy but I don't think it's a big deal really to have photos of your past, it's not like I had them on the wall!

I think if your husband really isn't bothered I'd box it all up and shove if in the loft then.

Haha love sparkle's idea! I'm imagining a 'shrine to exes' wall. My exH asked what I was doing with the wedding pics when we split, I replied "burning them " so he asked for them as wanted to keep them for the DC's for the future. Unfortunately I had fibbed a bit and had actually already done it. I did however find an old envelope with the proofs in when moving house which he now has, so DC's can still look at 'proof of idiocy' in coming years.

Who knows, there might be a thread about him still having them on MN from a GF in the future!

I don't see why he still has it all though OP, especially so visible. It should be burned kept in the bottom of a box in a cellar/attic if anything imo

Thank you leanin15.....loved sparkles idea too....also had imagined a sort of shrine to ex's I'm definitely leaning toward the boxing up and putting them far far away plan

CSI/police type investigation tracking board could be another option....

But yes, packing 'out of sight out of mind' would probably be the best option

Thanks folks.....appreciate all your input x

Have a bonfire and pawn the ring

I think you are maybe over thinking it a bit.
I remember one on meeting a new boyfriend, and when I saw he had a picture of a woman by his bed, I had loads of stories in my head about it, and considered ending it before it has really began.
Turned out he didn't notice it was v there.... Hadn't thought about her for a year, and it was a bit of a mediocre relationship. He was just a horder, incapable of getting rid of stuff.
Some people are just like that.

My grandad has a picture from my mum and dads wedding on his mantelpiece... they've been divorced for 15years, my dad is remarried with another child and my mum is in a very long term relationship. It's so odd!