To sell or not to sell - our house

[ginorwine]

We have lived in our house for 14 years . It's a very tall 4 storey terrace .
We are struggling financially to keep it up as when we need roof looked at , window s to be painted a scaffolding to be put up at £ 300 before any work done .
The windows are wood and will need replacing at some point .
We really love the house as we have estuary views from 3 floors . We have good neighbours and the neighbour hood is safe and friendly with a ten min walk into town . We have 30k on mortgage in mid 50 s.
But- my Dh is in a senior job and he comes home exhausted . We have 2 Dc one about to go to uni the other next year. To support dc 1 at uni we think we will need to pay his rent at 500 pm as its 6k a year .his loan is only 4,100 .
So I have an exhausted husband - he wants to work but less stressful long hrs job . I earn v little due to a health issue .
A Dc going to uni .
We viewed a house y day that is smaller in ok area - we Wd be mortgage free and have 30 k left .
My Dh looked so sad at the thought of moving -he had tears in his eyes .
We may not get the other house as we have not sold .
We can either stay here in what is a beautiful money pit which we both love or move . I feel like I've swallowed a stone - my gut says don't my head says do it .

Based on how unhappy you both sound about the prospect of moving, I'd say don't do it - if there's any way that's possible. When's your mortgage due to be paid off? Could you extend the term to reduce your monthly repayments? It will cost you more in the long run but will take the pressure off a bit. Or with DC1 off to Uni, could you take on a lodger?

Also, it doesn't sound like the house you viewed is the one... You described it in a very factual way - the price is right and the area's ok - no mention of actually liking it? Obviously the circumstances and the fact you'd be downsizing/compromising will affect how you feel about a new house, but please don't jump into a purchase just because it ticks the boxes - there will be smaller/cheaper houses out there that will make you happy - albeit for different reasons. If you have to move, try to hold for a property where the move would be bittersweet rather than just sad.

I think with two at uni next year they will have to find part time jobs to help subsidise their income, giving 1k a month between the two is outside the means of many parents. It sounds a large burden. If your husband reduces his hours, would his reduced income mean your DCs would be entitled to a larger loan?

But it does sound like regardless of the uni cost issue there is the issue of the house in need of money spending on it, which will be hard on lowner income ( due to subsidising kids at uni or husband reducing hours) so maybe you do need to sell it anyway? Only you know your current financial situation.

As 21stCentury suggested, use your lovely house to make some money (it sounds like it's bigger than you need, anyway).

Take in a lodger, do airbnb, rent out a parking space (if you're near a station) ... might be other ideas, if you google.

Thanks all
I never thought of air b n b
We don't want a lodger as we are ready for space for us when dd goes to uni next year
The mortgage is 30 k and I will think about extension - another good idea
The main concern is the upkeep as the wooden windows are soft and hanging on and 10000 s to replace - big fake sash wood .
Yes if he reduced income they may get more student loan but we Wd still want to help them alongside work they do as their work Wd prob nt make up the shortfall
Thanks so much all

Ps it's a large terrace no drive to rent but fab idea

Understand your worry ... we also have wooden windows that are well past their best.

By rights ours should be replaced soon, but instead we have been looking into repair with wood epoxy. Hoping to buy ourselves a few years (in our case we possibly may not remain in this house, in which case we would not want to replace the windows if we were going).

Could you consider something like that, at least for the first two levels?

A dish
Yes I think my husband fills them with something like that - it foams up ?
The 4 th floor he has inserted some wood - looks terrible and we have had half a new window to the third floor .
We are trying hard with Windows . They get a massive blast from wind and rain as we are also on a hill !
Thanks so much for suggestions .

A dish
It's when the windows are all soft and bouncy wood wize it worries me - I imagine them falling on someone ! Gulp .

If you're both getting older (I'm guessing) that living in a 4 storey house isn't going to be ideal for ever. I'd sell up, release some equity, DH can get a less stressful job, kids can have a small monthly allowance and work for the rest to cover their bills, you can have a nice low maintenance home that may not set your heart on fire but is more practical and affordable.

Any
Yes Dh is 57
Not old but the nature of his job means he won't be able to do it in the longer term
The proposed house is exactly to our taste just smaller and less desirable area . It's ok just resudenta . Our area has art n community centre , park , canals etc .

We put house in market and it attracted immediate buyer - since then been in a conflicted state . !
Neighbours have brought cake round . Another wine .
This so hard .
When I went to see the other house the inside was lovely but outside I just felt flat .it could be lovely but how do you tell when you get half hr there when you are move for practical reason ! ? I knew I wanted this house in 5 seconds but that was for the area and the views which are stunning . From my bed just now I can see an estuary and mountains for miles .
But it costs so much to run and maintain and there is a back access which means neighbours can walk accross the garden to do bins which I have never liked .
The other house means
No mortgage
Less running costs
It has a view over rooftops and fells
The area is Suburbia semis cf Victorian
We Wd be able to support kids at uni
And do other stuff
If we stay here we Wd struggle to do things like a meal out
We Wd have 150 pm for any and all eventualities
We cd do air b n b tho .
Dh say we must get this right and he Wd rather be financially struggling and have hsppy dw than be fin fine and a sad dw and he says we must be sure .
I'm so conflicted . I'm in a tail spin . Head says move - heart stay .
The area we live is so visually lovely although it can be perceived by some as a little smug - my friend has told me this a few times - it's a sterotypical middle class area all camper vans , etc social workers , lecturers not a very mixed area - the other house is very mixed . To explain radio that comes out of houses is radio 4 , camper vans, very friendly , arty . Other area hard working - )lots builders vans ) , radio one , man with tatoos a smoking , souped up car - money spent on material things like cars - in this area it seems there are no expensive visual things but there are indicators of a different vibe . I felt a bit lost as the area is different visually - am not critical it's observation . Eg kids playing in street , around local spa .expensive cars . Here community and arts centre old but costly camper vans .
That why it feels different - I'm not saying any if wrong or right - it just I notice .

Is the other house the only option, ginorwine?

I realise you are looking at a smaller house in a less expensive area, the purchase of which will reap all the above benefits, even though you don't love the house.

Yet, a short distance down the road there could be the perfect house, with a different visual option, that ticks all the boxes.

If this is to be your forever house, you must love it.

I say keep looking.

I don't think you want to move.

I am in a similar position to you, and am very conflicted about leaving my gorgeous house.

If we go we will be mortgage free, we will have a new life in a new town, my partner won't have to do a job he hates. All good.

I wouldn't move to an area I didn't like to get those things though, because I know I would be unhappy. You don't like the new area at all. Keep looking. Or look further afield.

Also, your children will have to get jobs/ be in debt if you don't have the money to support them!

Thank you for reply
I like the house we viewed as it cd be a forever house inside !
Our current house we wd have to move from if our mobility was affected as the kitchen is one whole floor
Downstairs
The living room on a different floor
Etc
So we Wd have to move when older I guess
But prob get another ten years
The area we live in is all Victorian terraced and we Wd want a semi for stair lift and ease !
The next size down from us here is three storey terrace
Then tiny 2 up 2 down cottages

I'm so grateful to be able to talk this thro - thank you

You need to move - you can only continue for so long with the levels of stress that you currently have. Worrying about money doesn't go away overnight - not unless you win the lottery.

But the smaller house that you have seen doesn't sound like it's the one. Look harder, go into an estate agents and tell them what you want - location, views, proximity to existing house. You will be a cash buyer and a VERY attractive prospect.

Take the lead in protecting both your and your DH's health - it sounds like he really doesn't want to make you unhappy by admitting he needs to slow down a bit - which really would mean moving house. Accept a good offer on your house. I would even consider putting stuff in storage and renting a furnished flat for 6 months while you find your next property - you might find it changes your mind about what you really want in your next house both location wise and size of garden, garage, type of kitchen etc.

Hoo
How are you feeling about your house ? 🌷

I really love the house we are moving to, although it needs a new kitchen and bathroom. It's not my dream house, but the other things it has make up for that- amazing view, 5 mins from a beach, in a beautiful village so has pubs etc, massive garden. What it hasn't got- well, I would prefer it to be much older (built in 1918), it is a bungalow, which I would never have chosen. It has no real character features. The area it is in is perfect, the house isn't.

I am conflicted, because I love the house I am leaving. It is my home. It feels like leaving home! It is quaint, full of character, in a great area, massive garden. We have spent huge amounts of money on it because we thought it was our forever house. I couldn't leave it to live in an area I didn't like.

We are moving from the south east to Cornwall. We need a new life, so that's why we are going. But I still feel funny about leaving my house, even though I want a new start very much.

Don't pay your sons way through uni. Son can work and do what other students do ie) take a loan. You could offer your son £30 a week to cover food.

Get the Windows/roof/scaffolding priced up. Can the Windows be changed to something that doesn't need upkeep? Add All costs on to the mortgage - home improvement loan.

You find extra ways to cover the difference between the two mortgages

Gold he has got the student loan
It's 4100 and his Accomadation alone is 6k
He is not entitled to a bigger or full Loan
This due to Dh wage
However we high house costs
The downsize idea was because we Wd then be mortgage free
The house has high fuel bills being four floors and old heating system / woodburners you see so tho Dh has good wage there is little disposable income to help dc
Downsizing Wd change that
If ds worked im thinking he wdnt earn loads cos of study
Maybe I'm thinking of ds needs too much ?

Hoo that's Amazing !! All the best with your adventure .
We Wd lose views
Character
Lovely area
For v practical house - love it inside - for a very boring non pretty area but be mortgage free less upkeep n bills and 20 k in bank

Eek
Hoo that's it I'm moving potentially to an area I don't like ! I like the house but not the area .

I can't get a semi in our area it's all Victorian terraces or cottages

I really wouldn't move to an area you don't like.

These 2 bed cottages near you, are any of them extendable? Our house is 2 bed cottage. An extension on the back would be 30k, and would increase the space a lot! Is that worth looking into?

Sorry put a X
I thought I was texting for a moment !