My grandson does not have any friends at school they isolate him

[skfan61]

Hi my six year old grandson goes to a private school and is the only white Child in his year group. There is one particular child that tells the others not play with him and to call him silly.
He is an only child and has no contact with children out side of school due to where they live. He sees his two younger cousins very occasionally, and goes to a drama group once a week which he enjoys.
My daughter is very friendly with all the other moms constantly chatting on what's app.
Last weekend my grandson stayed the night at our house, as he was drifting off to sleep he said 'i need a friend'
He is an only child and has no regular friend or 'best friend' he says he is lonely.
He has created a whole world and filled it with elaborate characters which seems to be taking over his life.
I feel so sorry for him. My daughter gets angry if my husband and I mention anything and says he has to toughen up, it's what kids do and that we are racist!
I also very worried this loneliness and unhappiness will develop into depression.
I thought of asking this ringleader to a play date and forcing him to play. I am so upset and worried.

Whilst it is very difficult to listen to a child say they are unhappy I have to agree with your daughter. What does the colour of skin have to do with anything? Being excluded from a group is horrible. If he is regarded as being silly perhaps you could work on his social skills with him. It's a tricky one.

I think his skin colour is relevant. If he is the only white child in a year group it wouldn't be unheard of for him to be singled out for being "different".

If he is being isolated because of his different skin colour then it is a racism/bullying issue that needs to be taken up with the teachers.

However, if his mother is happy I'm not sure there's much you can do about it.

If he stays with you regularly do you have friends or neighbours with similar aged children? Or maybe arrange and pay for swimming lessons or something where you can take him to meet other children- even take him to the park..

Thank you for your reply. His parents say we are racist for pointing this out but we are not we are just aware he is very miserable. There are only twenty children in his year group he is the only white child. There have been issues with physical bullying from the ringleader of the children refusing to play with him. His parents went to the school but I think my grandson is so demoralised he no longer tells his parents. He does get to mix with children on Saturday mornings at drama however. I wish I could make my daughter see how miserable he is.