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Original poster

advice needed - wedding RSVP

12 replies

yorkshireteaa · 04/06/2016 17:04

Hi all

Looking for some advice regarding the wording on the acceptance card for our friends wedding.

They are getting married 2 weeks after my due date and I have already prepped them and said we may not be able to come depending on baby's arrival.

I really really don't want to miss their wedding but at the same time I don't underestimate the stress and exhaustion of a newborn, and the wedding is a good 2 hour drive from where we live.

If we were to go it would be for a short part of the day so probably only ceremony is appropriate as we can't be a tentative yes as that will mess her numbers up for the sit down dinner. We will prob drive there and back in a day.

How can I word it in the card to say: 'we'd love to come, but depends when baby arrives'?

I think they were a little upset when i first said we may not be able to come so I want to word it right.

Realise that even if baby comes bang on due date I may not feel up to travelling and going to a wedding, but I really want to to try to go.

Would be great to hear what you think / tips for what to write in card

OP posts:

Littlefish · 04/06/2016 17:28

In your circumstances, I would probably just decline. Your baby could be anything from a month old, to newborn.

If you have a Caesarian anywhere near your due date, you are unlikely to feel like a 2 hour car journey each way.

I know you want to be there, but you really don't want to put yourself under that sort of pressure.

Crabstick · 06/02/2017 22:02

Yes go with the "we'd love to come but can we let you know closer to the date?"

I went to a wedding a week after having a c section, we had a great time.

BackforGood · 06/02/2017 22:10

I'd just decline, and wish them well, and say it would be lovely to get together aft the wedding to see the photos, let her meet the baby, etc.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Weddings

mollyblack · 06/02/2017 22:15

I'd decline too, its completely reasonable.

peppatax · 06/02/2017 22:17

I'm going to go the other way OP and I would accept and offer to cover the cost of your dinner (or at least send a cheque to do so plus gift). If a friend of mine wanted to come to my wedding so close to their baby's due date I would be thrilled.

girlelephant · 06/02/2017 22:20

As it's a close friend and you desire to go if things work out I would call before sending the acceptance card. For a good friend in your circumstances I would have included you in the numbers but understood cancelling.

As you said it's a long drive so if you did feel up to it perhaps just attend the ceremony together but not the rest of the day? It's so difficult as you have no idea when the baby will arrive or when you will both get home. For example my hospital won't induce until 40+12 unless there are complications. My DS was born on 40+13 but didn't get out of hospital until he was 5 days old

Stinkymimi · 06/02/2017 22:22

I think it depends how close the friendship is. They won't have to give final final numbers to the venue until a week or two before - if they really want you there, they won't mind you confirming yes / no then. If they're not very close friends, they will probably be wanting to invite someone else in your place, so they'll want to know sooner.

buckeejit · 06/02/2017 22:24

Could you decline & say you'd love to be there & if possible will come to the ceremony but don't include a meal for you. Even if all is good & you can make it, with all the newborn stress, going somewhere quiet for a couple of hours with baby might be better, or just get a sarnie at the hotel.

Is would be vu if they didn't understand due to the circumstances. My db refused to be usher for other db wedding as their baby would be 5 weeks old

sleeplessinderbyshire · 06/02/2017 22:27

I'd go for a proper formal written reply.

"Mr and Mrs yorkshireteaa thank x and y for their kind invitation to celebrate their marriage but owing to the impending arrival of baby yorkshiretea are unable to accept."

Then ring up after it's got there and discuss that you'll pop in to church if at all possible and will be there in spirit.

multivac · 06/02/2017 22:31

Genuinely, utterly bemused as to why you wouldn't just pick up the phone and talk to your friend about this; explaining the situation and asking what she would like to have happen. Why this bizarre guessing game?

Scottishchick39 · 22/02/2017 14:50

This thread is from last June, OP has surely had the baby and the wedding is past by now?

hellejuice91 · 13/03/2017 17:00

I would probably just decline. We have someone coming to our wedding a couple of weeks before her booked c section. As you never know what could happen I am fully expecting her not to be there. Granted I will miss her but I will not be upset or angry if she does not make it.

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