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Original poster

no wedding invite

88 replies

rubybleu2 · 20/05/2016 14:03

An old friend of ours, who we meet with maybe once a year at an annual charity bash, sent us a message around christmas announcing her plans to marry, telling us she would love us to be part of her day,and at the beginning of the year sent us a 'save the date' card, asking us to keep August bank hol weekend free, (night before drinks/ breakfast the morning after, no actual details such as venue or times), and a link to a shop website & gift list, as its over 200 miles each way, we decided to book to stay over 2 nights,(I'm sure the bride would be aware of the booking through mutual friends) and purchased a e voucher from the shops website as a gift, which I'm sure she would be able to see this...... since then I've noticed the odd comment on facebook 'wedding budgets suck' 'If only I could afford my dream cake' etc..... we are yet to receive a formal invite, I'm thinking we may have been culled in the budget? Do u think if we were going, we would of have had the invite by now, or is it too soon ? should I wait a while before I ask ? I would really like to try to unbook the hotel if this is the case.... We also turned down a same day invite from another lovely couple as we'd already 'saved the date', so I'm a bit miffed, do u think its bad manners for her not to let us know

OP posts:

LyndaNotLinda · 22/05/2016 10:57

Well the OP sent her a message on messenger on Friday night and the bride had read the message and not replied.

I think that's a pretty clear indication of what's happened.

I'd still send her another message telling her what a rude bugger she is.

eddielizzard · 22/05/2016 14:57

how absolutely horrible. i also would have cancelled the hotel. i think i would never contact her again. she knows what she's done. she knows she's treated you very badly.

wallybantersjunkbox · 23/05/2016 18:10

Did you hear back op?

Interested in this thread?

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Weddings

Bolograph · 23/05/2016 18:13

Having got married 20+ years ago, could someone explain "save the date cards"? I've never had one. People invite me to weddings, I look in my diary, if I'm free and willing I go. If they know the date, why can't they issue invitations? What's the point? What's the etiquette? Does one reply, saying "OK, save it to go where, when, why?" or "no, I'm busy that week?" What? If they don't know where they're getting married, why are they sending anything out?

KittensandKnitting · 23/05/2016 18:19

Another person wanting to see if the bride ever replied!

Sounds incredibly rude to me.

Do save the date cards require RSVP's? And is it possible that if the OP hadn't RSVP'd they assumed the OP couldn't/wouldn't attend?

RaeSkywalker · 23/05/2016 18:19

Bolograph we sent save the dates out a year before the wedding, and then invites 6 months before, because we got married in the middle of summer (peak holiday season), so wanted to make sure that people were aware of the date. We didn't send invites at that point because things like menu for people to choose from hadn't been chosen, and we wanted to send the invite with all the information for the day and ask people to respond with their meal choices. My cousin was really pleased that we sent a save the date because she had to fly here (lives abroad) and got a really good deal on her ticket a year in advance.

RaeSkywalker · 23/05/2016 18:21

Kittens I wouldn't expect an RSVP to a save the date, and have never sent one in response to a save the date I have received either.

For me a save the date means "we'll be sending you an invite soon" (I've only ever received them as a day guest as well, so I assume when I receive one that I need to plan for the whole day to be taken up by wedding attendance).

KittensandKnitting · 23/05/2016 18:31

Rae thank you Was clutching at straws a bit really :) I've never recieved one just the invite!

RaeSkywalker · 23/05/2016 18:38

No problem! I think they're quite a 'new' thing but they were a godsend last year when we had 7 weddings to attend (including our own). Unbelievably, all 7 were spread over June, July and August. Getting the save the dates meant that we could plan our honeymoon to make sure that we were at the other weddings (all the weddings were of close friends or family). I suppose we could've just asked the couples for the date of their weddings, but I would've felt awkward doing that as it would be embarrassing for all concerned if we actually weren't invited!

KittensandKnitting · 23/05/2016 18:48

Yikes 7 weddings!!!

Congratulations on yours :)

Maybe I should I send them... Although having a tiny one with just family, most people I know are also already married :)

Waltermittythesequel · 23/05/2016 18:53

I think it's time to ask out straight if you've been uninvited.

Rude cow.

Queenbean · 23/05/2016 19:00

Just reply and say "hi friend, realised I never formally responded - yes dp and I will be attending, no dietary requirements. I've booked the hotel and can see you've received our evoucher, can't wait to see you then"

Then if she replies ask for your money back. And if she doesn't, then go!! Just turn up. Would be awesome.

RaeSkywalker · 23/05/2016 19:00

Thanks Kittens! It feels like ages ago already (in a good way). Hope that you have a lovely wedding day.

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