Should I tell mum her 6yr old DD is shaping up to be ‘that girl?’

[vandasma]

My DD has a few times mentioned that a girl in her class likes kissing boys and her nick name now is “KissyLilly” (not her real name).

I’ve seen her ‘in action’ at a few birthday parties, and noticed that her mum always laughs it off.

Earlier this week, I bump into Lily’s mum who tells me her dd is unhappy at school
and being bullied –naming the boys that my dd says Lily likes to take behind the trees! I get the feeling the boys are being nasty to her in class to cover up for whatever’s going on behind the trees. I’ve tried drawing the mum’s attention to the kissing stuff in a subtle way but she finds it cute and can’t seem to make the link with the"bullying,"

Worse, other girls are starting to draw away. My dd says she doesn’t invite her to play because, “Lily only knows yucky kissey games.” I am worried for this girl – would you speak to school / have another go with mum / steer clear and myob?

'that girl?'

Wouldn't touch it with a ten foot pole.

Honestly. No good can come from that conversation.

No. Nope. Definitely not.

Um no. If your child tells you anything worrying perhaps mention it to the teacher.
And yes "that girl" WTF?

Six years old.

I would tell the school. She's six, she should be able to play games other than 'yucky kissy games'. I think the safeguarding officer would be interested. Does no one else think this is a safeguarding issue?

Lilly that's why I said if OP was concerned to mention it at school.

Yep I'm with Lilly. Something not right there.

Unless you really think something sexual is happening (remembering that this includes a wide range of things) I would steer clear. If you are concerned I would ask to speak to the school's CP lead and outline your concerns.

"That girl" is not a good phrase to use. She may be the victim of abuse.

They sound like little children. What I would do is not let my dd call her kissylily and mind my own business, unless you think that she is being sexually abused, then I would contact the school.

What girl?

I would also regard a group of boys calling her names as bullying, not 'bullying'.

I'm trying to imagine the conversation where someone came to me and helpfully pointed out to me that my six year old daughter was shaping up to be 'that girl'

And on that basis, I'm going to say you should MYOB

Ffs. Tell the school and stop being judge, jury and executioner. You have no idea what's actually happening from a few sightings at birthday parties and the eye witness account of a 6 year old.

Completely agree that this sounds like a potential safeguarding issue - young children do sometimes play "doctors and nurses", but if all the girl ever does is play "kissy games", that is inappropriate behaviour for her age group and I would be worrying about what might be happening to her outside of school. I would suggest you chat to her teacher and express your concerns. She certainly doesn't need censorious comments about being "that girl".

I would like to know who "that girl" is.

I would be concerned that she is being abused - I think I would inform the school about it.

What do you mean by 'that girl'?

That girl ?! She's 6 FFS and if she's behaving inappropriately (and I think that she seems to be) then she needs support not labelling by somebody who has nothing better to do but judge a child. Talk to the teacher and explain your concerns. I would hope that they are already aware but don't assume that they are.

Talk to school and then don't get involved, also stop referring to her as shaping up to be 'that girl'

The behaviour you have described is a red flag for her being a victim of sexual abuse.

You should tell the school.

She needs help not judgement.

She may be kissing the boys to stop the bullying and get them to "like her". Sounds like manipulation and makes me wonder just how old these boys are. I would definitely tell the school.

I remember another mumsnet thread, where boys were actually putting their hands down a girls pants and threatening her if she told anyone. Please stop it before it goes any further.