Moment of madness re neighbour...cringe.

[vichill]

I've been out all day and dh was looking after dd. This afternoon they were playing on the garden and he noticed a load of fag butts that had been chucked over the fence into our garden. Next door's elderly father smokes and logistically it can only be him. Husband was livid, scooped them all up then went round to confront. Nobody in so in a moment of madness posted them through the letter box. On ok terms with them. Few minor issues but nothing serious. I'm mortified and even though I agree pretty shit of the dad think dh overreacted. He is quite contrite. Would you go round to apologise?

No. They're his fag butts. 'Spensive. You gave them back.

No biggie.

Fuck that! Have they apologised for throwing fag butts in your garden? I'd be fucking fuming!!

Your DH did exactly the right thing. I'm dreading the summer as my dick head neighbours will be encouraging their brat child to throw all sorts over my fence, such as: broken toys, sweet wrappers, branches (that he rips out of the shared hedge), chicken bones and chewing gum, to name a few. I've decided to save every thing that comes over the hedge, this summer, and at the end of summer, pour the whole lot back over. Well, it's not my property and I wouldn't like to be accused of theft!

, your DH has balls! But I also think it was worse to have thrown them over into your garden in the first place.

Posting them through the letterbox is the kind of thing I'd have dreamed of doing but never have dared do in reality!

Bty, if he comes complaining to your door, just look at him innocently and say "butts? We don't smoke. Where ever would they have came from? Why would anyone do that?" He's going to have a hard time explaining why he threw them into your garden in the first place, if he wants to complain. What's he going to say? "How dare you put the cigarette butts that I threw into your garden through my door!"

No way should he apologise.

Thank you. I'm the archetypal apologetic Brit so my reactions can't be trusted.

Yeah...that's bad form on your neighbours' part. Poverty is spot on. They'd admit guilt if they did complain to you. Why would you apologise for returning their property?

Ive never understood the type of people who chuck stuff over their neighbour's fence. I mean, do they think that once its out of their garden it disappears? Do they not realise a) it still exists and their neighbour will have to dispose of it and b) their neighbour will know it was them!! Stupid idiots.

And yes your DH is brave. But well done him.

No, I would absolutely not apologise. If anyone should be apologising, it's your neighbour for throwing his fag butts into your garden! I smoke in our garden and I wouldn't dream of throwing the butts over the fence.

Well done to your DH and if your neighbour kicks off, do not say sorry!

What fag butts?

Mmmm I want a fag now.

If you feel it's most likely the NDN's elderly father and not the NDNs then I think you need a conversation just so you keep on reasonable terms. The elderly DF might not be fully aware and they might be mortified if they knew.

DH isn't wrong to be really angry, but could've been smarter and planned for better long term relations between you and next door.

I've done something similar. I lived in the ground floor and spent hours cleaning up butts in my garden. Only to come home and find a small collection that had appeared from that day. So livid I stuck them to a piece of paper and wrote THIS IS FUCKING UNACCEPTABLE!!! on it and posted it through my neighbours letter box. Once the heat of the rage wore off I sat stressing about a confrontation with the neighbour when they got home but they never did say anything. Not my finest hour but the point was made...