Moral Dilemma.

[Mumwithdilemmas]

Hi,

I'm new here & hope you can help. A person I know from my school days has recently contacted me via my parents, to ask if I can help her.

Firstly, she has always appalling towards me & even as adults this has never changed. Anyway she recently cheated on her husband of 10 years after getting very drunk at a party, as a result she is now pregnant.

Her husband has kicked her out & her family want nothing to do with her,she bumped into my mother & was very upset as she doesn't have anywhere to turn & no money for baby equipment.

My mum suggested she called me as we have several thousand pounds worth of baby equipment unused in our loft & cellars. We aren't planning anymore 2 toddlers are more than enough.

When she called she asked if I anything I could give her for free/cheap to hel. I told her no as I wanted current market value for things. My mum had told her we had 4 prams, 3 not being used & a couple of cots with boxes & boxes & boxes of clothes & toys etc.

My mum says I should be more charitable & give her break but I don't see why I should help, as I don't agree with what she has done. Also why should I help somebody who has always spoken down to me? After all I've ended up doing far better in life than she ever has.

What would you do? Thank you.

If someone had made my life a misery like that there's no way in hell I'd be giving them freebies. Your mum was totally out of order offering

This is like another planet - why would you even consider providing expensive items to a bully? Cheeky of her to even ask IMO.

My fiancé has just spoken to her & said we could sell her a few bits. She asked him what was for sale etc so he said & she wants our Silver Cross Heratige coach built pram but offered £50 for it. For goodness sake she is taking the urine now.

Mum has been & we sorted a small box of odds & ends she can have , that I'd forgotten we had. Nothing of very much value & more importantly of no sentimental value.

My fiancé has suggested she can have our bugaboo, cot, bedroom set 1from when our son was born (he was reluctant as it was a commission set to fit the nursery, 4 boxed of clothes in size 0 up to 12 month in neutrals, first toys, a feeding station, bottles, baby monitor etc for £500. She laughed & said nah I'll give you £150 for the lot. My fiancé explained that the bedroom set was worth more than £500 on it's own as it's solid mahogany with a sleigh cot bed & bespoke bedding, a wardrobe, changing unit, chest of drawers, nursing chair etc.

I think she is living on cloud coocoo. I'm livid now, we have tried I want to smack her so much.

Then leave it. You've offered, she doesn't want it. You don't particularly want to give her anything anyway and you have sorted a small box of items you're not fussed about. Draw a line under it and move on.

Thanks Shirkingfromhome, I could do with getting shot of the baby bits. We'll see if she calls again to offer a fair price, if she wants it then she will call again.

Thank you everyone, you helped us realise we were being overly materialistic & precious about our children's future. We've just sent a van load of equipment to our local women's hostel & home start for families in need. Xx

You know, I'd be tempted to give her some bits. Alright, not your £900 Icandy or any Gucci onesies you've got lying around, but a bag for life of neutral baby clothes and a baby swing or something. I've known a lot of arseholes in my life, but one of the greatest pleasures in mine is that I'm not an arsehole. And this would validate that feeling for me.

She's had a box of clothes FellOutOfBedTwice. It was stuff we didn't know we had. I'm still in love with my Icandy lol but DD prefers the Quinny. We're just waiting to hear if she wants these other items before they go back into the cellars. I've known a few aholes in my life & try as you say to be the bigger person. I did struggle here though.

Mum you've made a generous offer and she is now just taking the mick. If you did sell her the Silver Cross you can bet it would be on ebay in minutes, £50 is an absolute insult.

Give what you want to a local charity and sell the rest. You could treat the children or donate the profit to a cause you really support.

Thanks Penfold007. There is no way she's getting the Silver cross for that. We've just sent 2 vans off one to a local hostel & the other to our local homestart place.

We've decided the money we do make is best used towards our wedding as our children want for nothing. X